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Leostorm — Kemuri Intro - 3
Published: 2008-03-31 05:08:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 321; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 4
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Description
Part 1 - [link]Part 2 - [link]
Part 3 - ***
Comments/Tips/Suggestions Welcome^^
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Comments: 22
Well done, Kemuri! The entire comic is very good!
But the best thing about your comic is the dialogue! You're a great storyteller and I really wanna read more!
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Tyvm!
Glad ya like it, gonna be working on the next one soon.
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Very nice, I like your style, and you have very good story telling skills. 
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Thx a ton^^
I'll prolly be tweaking the style for my next one, less cartoon-ish more anime.
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looks good man,sorry i didnt comment on it sooner but u know how things r...work work work. anyway ill get back at u when I get the results on yer duel ok? btw, what did u mean about it not being an official duel? yer fighting alone?
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Its ok, I can get impatient at times
Just eager.
And as for the duel, MH is gonna fight too, He thought we had 3 weeks instead of 2, so he'll post his next monday. As for it being offical, I think we were leaning towards it being more of a freindly spar to test skill rather than an actual duel since we could be on same team later 
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oh ok. I get it about u not wanting to duel yer future team mates..hehe...just tought of it as unusual. Most folks wanna get their victory count up fast hehehehee. Anywayyyyy good luck
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Well if its judged as a duel, I'll take the point if it counts
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ok, first thing, very nice job with the panelling layout and tone that you used in this. The story moved along well, however, one thing I want to stress to you is about hte font. Keep it consistent. Don't mash the words together because you alloted a certain space for the narrative or the dialogue. My eyes were having issues with the condensing it from one panel to the next.
I liked your choice on shading, it worked really well, and the action was good. Well done on that. The point of improvement I would like to make on the fighting is that fi you're hitting someone, show that their body is reacting to it (I'm referring to the nose strike done) it gives the fight more depth.
I think that, again, you did a very solid job on this, and those suggestoins are merely that, I hope they help out
Keep up the good work
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Thanks for the look^^
Yea thats one of the things I want to work on, better character interaction and movement.
Also thanks for pointing the text out for me, I'll def keep that in mind for my next ones.
Cheers
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question for you -= did you put the word bubbles down with the base art?
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No their seperate, I could change them myb
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well, it's just something my eye does when i am reading something. i think your composition was great... i hope i didn't come across as rude or anything... just was giving feedback on it.
yarr....
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O no, I love the feedback.
I'ma go back and see if I can make them larger to make the text more the same size.
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well, just use it for future refs, not on this one.
one thing i have found myself doing is rewording a text bubble multiple times to make it fit, and also sound right for the char saying it....
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Yea writing a story and a comic are like the oppisite lol. I tend to wanna say alot and be descriptive, but instead need to say the most with a few words as you can.
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depending on what is going on in the situation... sometimes absolutely, other times... not as much
you have to weigh it against the situation i guess.
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Very solid entry into the comic world, especially that of SDL. The Style is unique and developed, and your execution of line and shading with vectors has been masterfully handled.
Great work!
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Tyvm that means alot to me, if someone enjoyed it, i'm a happy guy.
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