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Description
Okay, so this is actually a snapshot I took two years ago, but this photo has resonated with me more and more as the years pass by. I took this in Jacksonville, Florida while standing in line for a show at Jack Rabbits. It was written on the wall a few feet from the door. But I had no idea how directly it would allude to my life after that day.

Recently asked to write five short essays about my life and illustrate them using some of my personal photos. This is one of them, and I think the two go well together:

Essay 5: One Little Love
"On February 4, I turn 22. For most it’s just another birthday, but for me it marks a year of celebration. Today I look in the mirror and see the smile once worn by a child who believed in happily ever afters. I hear the laughter of that cheerful girl who never met a stranger. Today I believe there is freedom from the hate and fear that try to own us, and I believe in more than one second chance. That there’s a light at the end of every dark tunnel if we just keep walking, and that one act of compassion can save a life.

Through my own experiences and through listening to and watching the lives of others, I’ve discovered two constants: love and the weight of common sadness. They resonate through every song, every story and every pair of eyes to ever walk this beautiful but broken world.

Recently I attended an event where the speaker said there is a tension between the moments that bring us up and tear us down. It's in that tension I found that love and dreams and joy are all things worth fighting for. That is my purpose. To remind people that love is real, and that it is made both for them and in them. Not just romantically (that is only one facet) but through the compassion and relationships of friends, family members, mentors, coworkers, classmates and even strangers.

People often see me with words scrawled across my arms. I wear my heart on my sleeves in a very literal sense. It seems overzealous and almost foolish to be so open and susceptible. And yet there is some wisdom to my madness.

A young man by the name of Jamie Tworkowski once wrote, “We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.”

Even though all our stories are unique, we all know what pain feels like, no matter how it presents itself. I am not the only broken girl. There isn’t a single person on this Earth who is perfectly fine. But we’re awfully good at pretending. So many people hide behind masks and lies in hopes to appear strong because we’re afraid to talk about the things that hurt us. But two years ago I swore to myself that I would never fake this life. I want to be real and honest not only with the people around me, but with myself as well.

To some I seem a little exotic with my bold makeup and bright colors. But color reminds me of life and hope and optimism. It isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. Color can paint everything from pain and sorrow to contentment and bliss. Yet whatever color is expressing, it’s vibrant and feeling.

Darkness is not. Darkness is paralyzing, muted, the absence of color. So is life without love. It is absent, empty and eventually unfeeling.

And so I continue to fight against it. I won’t let my failures keep me from trying because in my reflection I see something good. I see progress, and moving forward. I see fears being overcome. I see growth as a person. I see love. Joy. I see who I want to be, and who I can be.

And through triumph and failure, I see it’s worth it."

Description
Okay, so this is actually a snapshot I took two years ago, but this photo has resonated with me more and more as the years pass by. I took this in Jacksonville, Florida while standing in line for a show at Jack Rabbits. It was written on the wall a few feet from the door. But I had no idea how directly it would allude to my life after that day.

Recently asked to write five short essays about my life and illustrate them using some of my personal photos. This is one of them, and I think the two go well together:

Essay 5: One Little Love
"On February 4, I turn 22. For most it’s just another birthday, but for me it marks a year of celebration. Today I look in the mirror and see the smile once worn by a child who believed in happily ever afters. I hear the laughter of that cheerful girl who never met a stranger. Today I believe there is freedom from the hate and fear that try to own us, and I believe in more than one second chance. That there’s a light at the end of every dark tunnel if we just keep walking, and that one act of compassion can save a life.

Through my own experiences and through listening to and watching the lives of others, I’ve discovered two constants: love and the weight of common sadness. They resonate through every song, every story and every pair of eyes to ever walk this beautiful but broken world.

Recently I attended an event where the speaker said there is a tension between the moments that bring us up and tear us down. It's in that tension I found that love and dreams and joy are all things worth fighting for. That is my purpose. To remind people that love is real, and that it is made both for them and in them. Not just romantically (that is only one facet) but through the compassion and relationships of friends, family members, mentors, coworkers, classmates and even strangers.

People often see me with words scrawled across my arms. I wear my heart on my sleeves in a very literal sense. It seems overzealous and almost foolish to be so open and susceptible. And yet there is some wisdom to my madness.

A young man by the name of Jamie Tworkowski once wrote, “We are only asked to love, to offer hope to the many hopeless. We don't get to choose all the endings, but we are asked to play the rescuers. We won't solve all mysteries and our hearts will certainly break in such a vulnerable life, but it is the best way. We were made to be lovers bold in broken places, pouring ourselves out again and again until we're called home.”

Even though all our stories are unique, we all know what pain feels like, no matter how it presents itself. I am not the only broken girl. There isn’t a single person on this Earth who is perfectly fine. But we’re awfully good at pretending. So many people hide behind masks and lies in hopes to appear strong because we’re afraid to talk about the things that hurt us. But two years ago I swore to myself that I would never fake this life. I want to be real and honest not only with the people around me, but with myself as well.

To some I seem a little exotic with my bold makeup and bright colors. But color reminds me of life and hope and optimism. It isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. Color can paint everything from pain and sorrow to contentment and bliss. Yet whatever color is expressing, it’s vibrant and feeling.

Darkness is not. Darkness is paralyzing, muted, the absence of color. So is life without love. It is absent, empty and eventually unfeeling.

And so I continue to fight against it. I won’t let my failures keep me from trying because in my reflection I see something good. I see progress, and moving forward. I see fears being overcome. I see growth as a person. I see love. Joy. I see who I want to be, and who I can be.

And through triumph and failure, I see it’s worth it."