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(This story - though not this episode - contains belly-centric male WG.)

“…and that is why your company should, er, consider our line of, um, office products.”

The two men sat across from each other for a few minutes of awkward silence before the one behind the desk broke it. Almost emotionlessly, he said, “We will certainly think about it. Thank you for coming.” He then proceeded to occupy himself by shifting some papers, giving the other man a clear signal that he was dismissed.

Ted Lindstrom dejectedly gathered up his materials into his briefcase and stood up from the chair in front of the desk. He opened his mouth as if to say something to the man who was now engrossed in some memo, but apparently thought better of it, and left the office.

Hitting the button for the ground floor, Ted looked at his reflection in the mirror-like wall of the elevator car. For most people the word “scrawny” would simply be an insult, but there really was no more accurate way to describe Ted’s body. At 5’11”, his 132-pound frame was almost a stick with a head dressed in a business suit that practically hung off of him. Sighing, he exited onto the ground floor, walked out to his subcompact car and drive back to his office.

On the way, he saw that billboard ad for the local gym, and remembered the multiple times he had tried to work out to gain some weight and muscle. His body simply would not allow it. He was stuck as a skinny man who couldn’t sell someone dying of thirst a glass of water.

Soon he was back in his office, being ignored by mostly everyone, from the receptionist on up. With dire resignation he went to his manager’s office and knocked on the open door. His boss Carl looked up from his monitor and said, “Hey, Ted, could you come back in like an hour?”

Ted nodded and turned to go when Carl got up and exclaimed, “Ted! Come on, you need to assert yourself better than that. Come on in.” Carl gestured to a chair as he retook his. “You’ll need to learn to do that if you are going to be a good salesman.”

Ted took a seat and replied, “That’s just it, Mr. Peterson. I’m not. A good salesman, I mean. I can’t seem to convince them to buy our products no matter what I say. Maybe I should just go back to data processing.”

“Nonsense,” Carl stated. “You just need more confidence. I took you from DP and put you in sales just for that very reason. Once you have more faith in yourself, you’ll do fine.”

“If you say so, Mr. Peterson.”

“I do say so. Now, get out there and try again. Here’s the McNulty account. I’m sure you’ll do fine!”

After another few embarrassing encounters with clients, Ted realized he could use a drink. Since it was Friday, he didn’t see any problem with that either. Parking at his apartment, he walked the short distance to the corner bar. The bartender waved and fixed him his usual as he took a stool. It was then that he noticed the beautiful brunette a few seats down from him.

The bartender put Ted’s drink in front of him and said, “You should ask her out.”

Snapping out of it, Ted replied, “Oh, come on, Phyllis, she’d never go out with me. Look at her.”

“I see her. But you never will know for sure unless you try. You’re a good guy, Ted. You just need a little confidence and they’ll see that. Go on. What’s the worst that could happen?”

Later, Ted entered his apartment, alone, and more than a little drunk. He didn’t know why he let Phyllis get him worked up like that when they both knew he was only going to balk before he got over to the woman. He should really stand up to Phyllis next time. As he walked to the bedroom, he chuckled at the irony of that. After stripping, he had a look at himself in the mirror hanging on the closet door. His ribs were quite visible, and the only definition in his skinny arms was provided by the bones in them. With a sigh he lay on the bed and went to sleep.

The next morning, Ted awoke as a man with a purpose. He needed to find something, anything that would give him the confidence he needed to be good at his job, and maybe other things too. The times he had tried the gym he had also tried all manner of nutritional supplements, but he supposed he could try an herbalist or something. So he went to the side of town where exotic products and services seemed to congregate.

After walking around being largely ignored by passers-by, he saw a sign in a window. “Confidence? Come in!” A bit confused by the wording, Ted went inside the shop. There were all manner of unidentifiable things both hanging by strings from the ceiling, and in variously colored liquid in jars on shelves. In the back, behind a display case, stood an elderly Asian woman who smiled the smile of someone about to make a sale.

“Here for confidence?” she inquired politely.

“Uh, yeah, I guess I am.” Ted shifted a bit nervously.

The woman smiled. “You sure are! I have the thing!” She went behind a curtain only to return a moment later carrying a large clay jar. It was sealed with wax and several labels were affixed to it, filled with markings in languages Ted could not understand. “This give confidence. Now, no one take your words. With this, you have weight.”

“That’s what I need, for my words to have weight.” Looking at the labels, Ted asked, “Um, what is it? And what do I do with it?”

“Powder. Very rare. You have little bit with water, and it like whole meal. Will fill you with confidence and persuasion.”

Ted looked at the jar uncertainly. “Is it safe? How do I know how much?”

The woman scoffed. “Yes, safe! Also nutritional. There should be measure inside. But is about one quarter teaspoon. You can take as much as you want, but only that much at a time. May want to take just one the first day or so to get used to it.”
She then said the price, and Ted thought it to be reasonable for a ‘very rare’ powder that would do what he needed. Also, the jar was rather large – if it were only half-full there should be enough in there to last him a couple years, at a quarter to a half a teaspoon a day. Besides, Ted knew he sucked a haggling. He paid her the cash and took the jar right home.