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liveinmusic111 — where did you go? by-nc-nd
Published: 2007-12-23 04:17:57 +0000 UTC; Views: 148; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 0
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Description the secret smiles we shared that
night,
that night
on the bus,
the city lights casting
hopeful shadows over
our close faces
and our
closer
sentiments.
whatever happened
to (during)
those times
(is precious)?
what happened
to our
secret smiles
shared
(lost)?
that time
at the
market,
holding
your soft
hand
to make
sure
you were
still
(ever) there,
where did (that
ever happen)
that go?
(where)
did you
go?
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Comments: 20

MaliceTear [2008-01-30 19:45:20 +0000 UTC]

I found the format of the poem gave it breaks where it did not need it, stopping at points that could have flowed nicely with each other.

In all it has a nice sentiment. =]

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liveinmusic111 In reply to MaliceTear [2008-01-31 04:03:19 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for your input. I purposely put breaks where they do not seem to fit or need it, in part because the situations that my poems stem from do not often flow nicely with each other. But I can see how it would be deterring for some. Thanks again for comments!

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MaliceTear In reply to liveinmusic111 [2008-02-02 19:31:13 +0000 UTC]

You are very welcome.

I am happy to comment =]

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liveinmusic111 In reply to MaliceTear [2008-02-02 20:14:35 +0000 UTC]

Thanks, it's nice to have a constructive comment once in a while, lol.

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MaliceTear In reply to liveinmusic111 [2008-02-03 20:04:56 +0000 UTC]

You are very welcome. =]

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liveinmusic111 In reply to MaliceTear [2008-02-05 03:27:38 +0000 UTC]

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ryu-son [2008-01-12 01:06:35 +0000 UTC]

Awesome job! I love the first half about the bus.

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liveinmusic111 In reply to ryu-son [2008-01-13 21:31:24 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much!

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Pyrox666xPheebs [2008-01-12 00:12:50 +0000 UTC]

I love how you have laid this out.
Quite original and works well with the poem

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liveinmusic111 In reply to Pyrox666xPheebs [2008-01-13 21:27:41 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much

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Sudoxation [2008-01-11 21:30:08 +0000 UTC]

You are pretty good

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liveinmusic111 In reply to Sudoxation [2008-01-13 21:20:39 +0000 UTC]

*cocks head and laughs* Thanks

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Sudoxation In reply to liveinmusic111 [2008-01-14 16:05:59 +0000 UTC]

you are very much welcome

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liveinmusic111 In reply to Sudoxation [2008-01-15 05:04:43 +0000 UTC]

I am sure I am

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Blacknightfox21 [2007-12-23 04:23:10 +0000 UTC]

Sounds oh so familar, You should post your lyrics to that one song just a suggestion

Awsome btw!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

liveinmusic111 In reply to Blacknightfox21 [2007-12-23 20:36:28 +0000 UTC]

What do you mean by "sounds oh so familiar"? I was thinking about it, but I'm always afraid that somehow someone will copy and take credit for it. But I might...

Thanks!

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Blacknightfox21 In reply to liveinmusic111 [2007-12-24 04:12:11 +0000 UTC]

Mkay, Makes since.

What I mean is that I think I know where the insperation for this came from :3 Ah, the wonders of being the friend of a poet. You know what all the poems mean and where they came from... :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

liveinmusic111 In reply to Blacknightfox21 [2007-12-25 02:40:47 +0000 UTC]

yessm.

So....who do you think the inspiration is? (don't use their name, though)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Blacknightfox21 In reply to liveinmusic111 [2007-12-25 19:36:15 +0000 UTC]

How can i guess when i cant say their name. Uhg, lets just say they're your ex XD

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liveinmusic111 In reply to Blacknightfox21 [2007-12-25 23:17:51 +0000 UTC]

Yeeeah....LOL

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