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loltopaz — Sound in my Soul

Published: 2011-10-03 02:42:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 7414; Favourites: 503; Downloads: 117
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Description My heart begins to beat
To the silent,slow and sweet
Sound in my soul.
I began to lose control
Of everything I know
I felt as pure as snow.
Out of everything I had
This feeling made me glad.
How could I have survived so long
Without this beautiful song?
Im starting to believe
That this feeling will never leave.
I begin to sing aloud
Confident,and proud
Im on the brink,
About to overflow
Lets get this going
And start the show.
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Comments: 65

lolly-Z [2012-04-21 15:34:26 +0000 UTC]

that os very good

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

loltopaz In reply to lolly-Z [2012-04-21 20:02:06 +0000 UTC]

thx ^_^

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BlackLagoon [2011-10-27 02:45:58 +0000 UTC]

Awesome Poem

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loltopaz In reply to BlackLagoon [2011-10-27 13:55:22 +0000 UTC]

TY ^_^

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Revilo701 [2011-10-09 04:39:04 +0000 UTC]

First time I have ever added a Poetry peice to my favorites
Sooo good! made me happy just reading it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

loltopaz In reply to Revilo701 [2011-10-11 00:51:16 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MyBlankPages [2011-10-05 23:30:12 +0000 UTC]

Just passing through, I noticed that your pageviews jumped up from almost nothing to 100 or so when this piece hit the front page. Most people at this point will read this once, comment with a heart, and continue lurking on the front page of this website for 5 years. I on the other hand am going to run through some questions a poetry teacher would ask, because at least one person should:

Is there a reason the first letter of every line is capitalized? Is there a reason you've chosen not to separate this into stanzas?
How do the lines "Out of everything I had / This feeling made me glad." add to the poem? Does the rhyme serve the meaning? That is: is it more important that they rhyme, or that they're meaningful?

My personal opinion is that this would read better if you didn't break the line on every rhyme. Longer lines are read faster and "looser" so that if you combined the first two lines into 1, lines 4 and 5 into another, etc. you could improve the rhythm of the piece.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

loltopaz In reply to MyBlankPages [2011-10-11 00:50:53 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for the poetry lesson X3 Im still an amentuer at writing poetry, Ill try and use these tips

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GuGuBean28 [2011-10-05 00:49:56 +0000 UTC]

Music is my heart and soul sometimes-it keeps me going most the time

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loltopaz In reply to GuGuBean28 [2011-10-11 00:51:03 +0000 UTC]

Same

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mizu292 [2011-10-05 00:16:02 +0000 UTC]

well me friend, your inspiration has payed off as soon as i read the first two lines, i instantly began to sing it! this would make a great song

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loltopaz In reply to mizu292 [2011-10-05 00:21:34 +0000 UTC]

thanks.

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mizu292 In reply to loltopaz [2011-10-05 01:49:44 +0000 UTC]

your welcome!

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ippikiokamiXIII [2011-10-04 23:58:19 +0000 UTC]

this poem is such an inspiration, i feel like i want to draw more music in my art now thanks to this. also it gave me this warm feeling inside right now

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

loltopaz In reply to ippikiokamiXIII [2011-10-05 00:23:01 +0000 UTC]

^^ Im glad you liked it.

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mara-aki [2011-10-04 18:33:47 +0000 UTC]

perfect, can totally relate to it, the music always keeps me going
i really like the flow, good job on the 'happy' poetry

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loltopaz In reply to mara-aki [2011-10-04 22:49:28 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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mara-aki In reply to loltopaz [2011-10-05 08:25:43 +0000 UTC]

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florenceleung [2011-10-04 08:51:58 +0000 UTC]

awesomeness!!

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florenceleung [2011-10-04 08:51:47 +0000 UTC]

so cool!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

loltopaz In reply to florenceleung [2011-10-04 13:27:46 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! glad u liked it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ArNascFola [2011-10-04 07:43:02 +0000 UTC]

I like it. It has a ring to it. ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

loltopaz In reply to ArNascFola [2011-10-04 13:28:56 +0000 UTC]

Thank you :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

copycat01 [2011-10-04 04:43:57 +0000 UTC]

did you ask permission to use the image?
because the rules are clear: [link]

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loltopaz In reply to copycat01 [2011-10-04 13:28:13 +0000 UTC]

Yes i talked to the owner of the image and got permission

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

SwankyPants [2011-10-04 02:50:50 +0000 UTC]

Love the way this flows; great rhythm in the words. I'm usually not one for poetry but your stuff sticks out to me and I like it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

loltopaz In reply to SwankyPants [2011-10-04 13:28:41 +0000 UTC]

Thank you im glad u like my poetry

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Terrahilde [2011-10-04 01:33:52 +0000 UTC]

it's really minimalistc, which i like and the poem made me smile.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

loltopaz In reply to Terrahilde [2011-10-04 13:30:26 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Terrahilde In reply to loltopaz [2011-10-04 23:12:35 +0000 UTC]

You're Welcome

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FeyrieStrange [2011-10-04 00:35:55 +0000 UTC]

That was.....well to sum it all up? Amazing.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

loltopaz In reply to FeyrieStrange [2011-10-04 13:29:41 +0000 UTC]

Thanks im really glad you like it! :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

FeyrieStrange In reply to loltopaz [2011-10-04 23:10:48 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Kara1O1 [2011-10-04 00:19:30 +0000 UTC]

Got to love easy to understand poetry :] Can barely stand the kind of poetry where you have to sit there and cipher out what it means for 30 minutes. But this is simple and beautiful!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

loltopaz In reply to Kara1O1 [2011-10-04 13:29:19 +0000 UTC]

Thank you that means alot to me

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Kara1O1 In reply to loltopaz [2011-10-04 20:50:04 +0000 UTC]

I also really like the art, goes perfect with it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Zippuri [2011-10-03 18:38:46 +0000 UTC]

I think its beautiful. Good work. And the picture is amazing.

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loltopaz In reply to Zippuri [2011-10-03 20:33:02 +0000 UTC]

Thanks! (tho I didnt draw the pic )

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Logitechi [2011-10-03 18:05:56 +0000 UTC]

i love it!!

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loltopaz In reply to Logitechi [2011-10-03 20:32:42 +0000 UTC]

TY

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MistiSeawolf [2011-10-03 15:11:52 +0000 UTC]

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ERbear26 [2011-10-03 13:10:22 +0000 UTC]

beautiful

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loltopaz In reply to ERbear26 [2011-10-03 14:01:42 +0000 UTC]

Thank you

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shofawnda [2011-10-03 11:27:39 +0000 UTC]

I absolutely love this. I think you just described every true music lover out there

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loltopaz In reply to shofawnda [2011-10-03 14:02:18 +0000 UTC]

Really? Thank you! X3

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shofawnda In reply to loltopaz [2011-10-04 11:28:46 +0000 UTC]

absolutly. No music lover can resist when their songs come on

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IrisMystery [2011-10-03 11:21:14 +0000 UTC]

Inspiring! Totally.

-----------
2 teach is
2 touch lives
4 ever

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

loltopaz In reply to IrisMystery [2011-10-03 14:04:40 +0000 UTC]

iloveyouplz

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loltopaz In reply to loltopaz [2011-10-03 14:05:33 +0000 UTC]

emote fail -_-"

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xxxRiku-chanxxx [2011-10-03 10:45:07 +0000 UTC]

Beautiful !

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