Comments: 12
Iceheart-Forever [2017-07-29 05:52:43 +0000 UTC]
Wait, this was you're FIRST fight scene? That was awesome! I liked the part where Neo had Tukson in the Hells Gate submission hold (AKA the modified triangle hold).
Nora bawls, "Nooo! Not the pancakes." 😭
I was looking for violin songs and I found this Avengers cover and a bunch of other movie/anime/tv show themes.
youtu.be/pisnHD_JuJM
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Allsmiles98311 [2016-07-05 06:33:26 +0000 UTC]
(Okay, so, after much time, and many delays, I FINALLY got to read all the way through.
And I like it. Tukson was young and full of rage and lack of wisdom once, and Oreonna's having to deal with absentee mothers... hmm... maybe that was a friendship point with Yang. Mother abandonment seems to be going around Remnant these days... In any case, it was good and intense, and I rather feel sorry for Oreonna in this multiverse... Daddy's keeping secrets, going to get himself killed. Mommy turns out to be a part of it... yeah, there's a good reason for the whole 'vengeance' angle.
However it was nice to see Tukson fight, and Oreonna's slight, grudging, maybe-ish acceptance works well. I'm impressed she even got that far, or was able to see love in the eyes though. I'd probably have given even less chance than she did. Anyhow, quite nice, and I'm sorry you're dead.)
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LongSean22 In reply to Allsmiles98311 [2016-07-06 01:34:24 +0000 UTC]
I'm sorry about my untimely demise as well.
Didn't even think about Yang and Oreo bonding over mom probs. Hmm indeed.
I do want to do at least one more chapter. But writing is hard and I have a feeling it will be just as long as this chapter (or longer). SO my motivation is loooooooow.
It is nice when it all comes together though. Maybe I'll just try and do it in my spare time? We'll see.
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Allsmiles98311 In reply to LongSean22 [2016-07-10 06:23:32 +0000 UTC]
(Heheheh, I understand that. Even for me, who does it constantly for fun, the act of doing so is often draining. Have a MILLION ideas for it though, and I'll often think about it when I'm supposed to be doing sensible things, like sleeping... Ah, anyways, I hope your spare time and motivation come through for you! And however long as it is, my personal bet... is that it's going to be awesome. I can wait. Nods nods.)
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ArrowGriffon [2016-06-28 03:44:21 +0000 UTC]
YES MORE TUKSON
This time in the form of a fanfic!
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WhiteFreak14 [2016-06-18 13:47:11 +0000 UTC]
But if you sleep forever, how will you get that sick cover art done?
I kid, I kid. In all truth and seriousness, this chapter kicked serious ass! And I know you say you're not that good of a writer, but holy shit this contradicts all of that. Of course there are some spelling errors here and there, but the main story you've put in place is easy to read and understand, and that's not something many Fanfiction authors can do.
Trust me... I've SEEN things, Sean...
Anyway, as for the chapter itself, I loved that flashback scene. It had some good action and you had a genuine grasp on how these characters would move, talk and feel. But more than that, I loved how flirty Neo was once she realized she may have just found her match. After the flashback, we see Oreonna being unable to cook. Yep; that's canon now. I pray for Oran, Nichol and Maybelle when it's her turn to make dinner...
That last scene was actually a little crushing, but in a good way. The hostility Oreo had towards her mother seemed real, since I actually know someone in real life who hates their parents. Albeit for different reasons, but the feeling's still there. And I won't lie when I say I had to take a breather after Tukson realized that if his daughter hated her mother because she left her with him, she would probably never forgive him for lying to her this entire time.
I am seriously looking forward to the next chapter if this is going on! If there is one, of course. But maybe you'll cap off this story with a comic or whatever? Honestly, do as you wish.
Long comment is long, but I've said what I needed to say. Have fun doing... stuff!
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LongSean22 In reply to WhiteFreak14 [2016-06-19 02:01:26 +0000 UTC]
Well, as per usual, I'm so glad you enjoyed!
I'm happy to hear the ideas I'm trying to get across are coherent enough!
Hopeuflly I'll get that cover art done soon! Then another spelling and grammar check and we'll be good to go!
I remember when I first started planning this in my head, I was like, "Oh, the flashback will just be a short little thing, I might include three of four more in this chapter!"
Naive.
Originally this chapter was just supposed to be the sad goodbye scene at the airport between the Tukson and his daughter, but that'll probably be in the next chapter, which is looking to be just as long as this one unfortunately... Also it'll be the end of part one. Part two will start once I get the second page of the comic done... whenever that'll be. Around the time I finish the several other ideas I want to do, not to mention the three new ones I have everyday.
It's hell inside my head sometimes...
But yeah! Oreonna is bad at cooking, but keeps doing it anyway! Endearing character traits! This was just a random idea I had that I wanted to use to put some laughs in this downer-fest of a chapter.
As far as future comics go, I really want to finish another chapter of Grimmwalker. Old friends is literally one afternoon away from being done, I just have to actually do it. Oreonna's Revenge Part 2 I haven't even started yet, beyond the original sketches, which are rough to say the least.
But I REAAAAALLY want to do my Nichol one I have in mind. I NEED TO EXPLAIN THE GRUMPNESS!
And then there's the random stuff I want to do on the side, like the picture I spent all day today working on!
So... content. That is what I have. Please to enjoy!
HA! I challenge your long comment with my own! Your move.
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WhiteFreak14 In reply to LongSean22 [2016-06-20 04:36:16 +0000 UTC]
Oh, a challenge, you say? Well, you have just challenged the master of overly long blog posts!
Yeah, your ideas are clear! Honestly, you'd be surprised how many people are unable to make their stories make sense. Need an example? Look at ONE Sora x Riku fic on Fanfiction and you just found your example.
Oooh, I can't wait for that art! So much stuff to look forward too in the coming day, like more Oreonna stuff, a commission I put out for someone else that should be arriving soon, and other such stuff like that. And as for spelling, you didn't do too bad this time. Just a few things here and there and you're good as gold.
Stories tend to go WAY off topic if you're just going straight for it. It can be a little jarring, but I've learned that it can also be really fun! It sometimes feels as if the story itself has a mind of its own, in a way. I wouldn't worry about this too much though; stories can go left, right, back and center without you realizing how it managed to do so in the first place. It's... strange. But the good kind of strange!
Also, a new comic relating to the story? Sign me up!
It's hell inside every writer and artist's brain. I think I can relate when I say it feels like you have all these ideas and just no time to begin them or no idea when to start, right? Same with me, but more on the former.
I can just imagine Oreonna trying to cook a surprise meal for her teammates and she ends up burniing Shade Academy down. Or more comically, just blows up the oven somehow.
...I'm making that. I call dibs.
Grimmwalker, Old Friends, Oreonna's Revenge AND a Nichol Comic that explains why she's so grumpy all the time? Wow, you have a full plate, don't you? It's alright though; since you're someone who DOESN'T have to deal with final exams, you literally have all the time in the world to do them. We, your fans, can wait.
But I'm interested in that Nichol one. Nicky is really mysterious to me, despite my tsundere jokes towards her. Doesn't help that she has a family member of undisclosed gender wearing a mask and trying to hunt her down.
Just what the hell has she done?
Oh, I like random stuff! Like Pokemon Randomizer! Yay! Yeah, that one was off topic. But in all seriousness though, you've piqued my interest.
Now, how was THAT for a long comment, eh? I wanna see you top that!
(you don't have to, lol )
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LongSean22 In reply to WhiteFreak14 [2016-06-21 01:17:03 +0000 UTC]
I don't think I have another comic/essay in me.
You win this round...
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