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lost-and-alone — Bad Days

Published: 2003-05-02 03:02:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 410; Favourites: 8; Downloads: 64
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Description This is one of them days
when it gets so hard to breathe
just wanna close my eyes
just wanna fade into sleep

You don\'t have to close my eyes
just to finally make me see
You loved me
now I\'m used, bruised, and lonely

Dams holding my eyes shut
the water\'s quickly getting deep
I can feel it building up
as I hope my heart will stop it\'s beat
....
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Comments: 11

unheard-voice [2003-05-04 21:04:01 +0000 UTC]

i like the whole thing. great work. and keep it up.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

silentscream [2003-05-02 19:16:06 +0000 UTC]

the last stanza is amazing. beautiful work.

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fukenrights [2003-05-02 15:42:54 +0000 UTC]

i have a few poems like this... you are welcome to take a look if you need some inspiration... just no copying please!! hahaha... i like this but unfortunatly i cannot give you any help because then it would be my thoughts... not your own...the most i can do is offer my art... so that you can get ideas... i look forward to seeing the complete version... please note me when it is complete...

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lost-and-alone [2003-05-02 15:02:20 +0000 UTC]

Thanks daniel, for your highly recognizable comment,

Have a nice day,

~Amaya

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sceptical [2003-05-02 13:07:27 +0000 UTC]

apart from the last stanza, for me this is unoriginal, benign, and miserable.

in content this is just another poem that employs the same over-used content and bore that i've read countless times on such sites.

the last stanza however does make use of some sound imagery, and i enjoyed the picture it induced.

however, I feel that the talent you have to write such images is fettered by this cliche and unsophisticated content.

daniel

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miharuchan [2003-05-02 03:07:02 +0000 UTC]

Thats so pretty I love the soft colors and her pose. ^^
Nicely done.

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agj [2003-05-02 03:06:43 +0000 UTC]

...speechless... please excuse me while i pick up my jaw

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dillpickle [2003-05-02 03:06:16 +0000 UTC]

Ok, if you never make an anime cartoon for public, I will pay u to make me a personal serise!!!

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silentsoul [2003-05-02 03:05:40 +0000 UTC]

love these kinds of emotions.
Feel them all the time.

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DonoVanDine [2003-05-02 03:05:04 +0000 UTC]

Very beautifully done. I relaly like how the emotion you incorporated in it matched with every word of the poem, i can tell you chose yoru words with precision^^

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silentsoul [2003-05-02 03:04:39 +0000 UTC]

OMG, who let the talent out on Deviantart, this is a terrific.
fave

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