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LostTomorrows — Beautiful Eyes V.2
Published: 2004-12-20 03:01:59 +0000 UTC; Views: 198; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
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Description I see the sparkle in your beautiful eyes
When you’re in my arms
I see the meadows glisten in the sunrise
I see the tears in your beautiful eyes
When I say must leave
I see summer leaves blow off of trees outside

Trees go bare and grass may wither at winter’s call
But as long as I’m here with you
Nothing matters at all
Because all that matters now is you and I
When I confess my love to you
Looking deep in your eyes
Those beautiful green eyes

So captivating, they seem to be saying
“I won’t let our summer die.”
So bold, when in springtime they glow
When they remain fixated on mine

A rose has it’s thorns and vines may not crawl
But as long as I’m here with you
Nothing matters at all
Because all that matters now is you and I
When I confess my love to you
Looking deep in your eyes
Those beautiful green eyes

~ Bret Campbell/2004
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Comments: 23

YukiTaka [2004-12-25 00:35:51 +0000 UTC]

Wow... This had to take some doing. To maintain the same structure and rhyme scheme but yet this poem still has the same feel as the first. The comparisons aren't as stronger perse as the last but are much more image driven to make up for it. All in all another awesome poem!

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LostTomorrows In reply to YukiTaka [2004-12-25 01:08:09 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so very much!!!

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waitingintheshadows [2004-12-23 01:04:03 +0000 UTC]

Again this is as beautiful as the other versions!! very well written..

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sippy [2004-12-21 15:35:00 +0000 UTC]

I read this one while listening to Alexi Murdoch. . . and I just about creamed my pants.
I really like how you followed the same structure, but something as simple as the colour of a person's eyes can cause it to change so much. that really shows great attention to detail and a true love for your writing, if not an actual person. . . well done.

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Romans8twenty5 [2004-12-20 23:15:45 +0000 UTC]

Dude seriously!!! You're gunna have like the luckiest wife someday I'm tellin you.....

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LostTomorrows In reply to Romans8twenty5 [2004-12-20 23:50:56 +0000 UTC]

*scratches head*

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Romans8twenty5 In reply to LostTomorrows [2004-12-21 01:11:49 +0000 UTC]

....

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beea20 [2004-12-20 19:38:14 +0000 UTC]

heheheh this is beautiful as well (look at this your making my good voacbulary die a slow death) heheheheeheeehe now i feel like stopping my odd writing style for a month or two and try to creat something like this hehehehehehe thanksk for the inspiration !

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LostTomorrows In reply to beea20 [2004-12-20 19:43:21 +0000 UTC]

Your very welcome! YAY! Thanks for enjoying these

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beea20 In reply to LostTomorrows [2004-12-20 19:44:02 +0000 UTC]

heheh your welcome k*grabs a pencil* now im off to work !

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LostTomorrows In reply to beea20 [2004-12-20 19:45:33 +0000 UTC]

Can't wait to see the end result

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beea20 In reply to LostTomorrows [2004-12-20 19:51:00 +0000 UTC]

heheheeheheheheh

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EmzyDude [2004-12-20 18:15:07 +0000 UTC]

This is sssoooooooo sweet, aaaaaaawwwwwwwwww. You are SUCH a great writer!

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LostTomorrows In reply to EmzyDude [2004-12-20 19:30:23 +0000 UTC]

Wow, thank you very much!

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EmzyDude In reply to LostTomorrows [2004-12-20 20:26:42 +0000 UTC]

Anytime Bret

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DesignerFreak [2004-12-20 15:12:44 +0000 UTC]

eeeeeeeee these are so good!!! on to the next one... *hopes it's about brown eyes*

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myasina [2004-12-20 04:34:35 +0000 UTC]

I liked the first better. Crying for the 6th time.

That's double revenge!

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LostTomorrows In reply to myasina [2004-12-20 05:14:20 +0000 UTC]

LOL, okay then!

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MakeShiftSoul [2004-12-20 03:47:15 +0000 UTC]

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww *tear* that's so sweet...

*has green eyes* lol.

I wish guys down here had THAT kind of eloquence. Great job j00.

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LostTomorrows In reply to MakeShiftSoul [2004-12-20 03:50:45 +0000 UTC]

Thanks

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MakeShiftSoul In reply to LostTomorrows [2004-12-20 04:09:53 +0000 UTC]

Anytime.

You deserve each and every comment you get

As for myself, I need to get writing lol

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LostTomorrows In reply to MakeShiftSoul [2004-12-20 04:12:41 +0000 UTC]

Did you read the other two versions?

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MakeShiftSoul In reply to LostTomorrows [2004-12-20 04:17:47 +0000 UTC]

Sure did...I just liked this one the best

but the other two were great as well

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