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loverz116 — let's play suicide
Published: 2010-03-09 06:58:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 838; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 5
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Description

"i'm sorry."

"for what?"

"i just want to end it."

"...end what?"

"my life."

"oh."

"say you'll miss me."

-

i was six years old

and

he was not too young to do it

and

i continued to play life after

and

he was 13 years old.

-

"i'll miss you."

"now cover your ears."

"why?"

"it'll be loud."

"what will be loud?"

-

i wish i covered my eyes

and

i heard bangbangbang everywhere

and

my ears never stopped hurting since

and

my white dress was ruined by ruby dots.   
  
-

"my death."

"what kind of game is this?"

"...game over, kiddo."
Related content
Comments: 41

LoveDestructive [2010-06-04 21:34:08 +0000 UTC]

There was a definite innocence. I felt like it was a relative...someone close maybe... This is a very strong piece.

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loverz116 In reply to LoveDestructive [2010-06-05 19:23:39 +0000 UTC]

thank you.

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LoveDestructive In reply to loverz116 [2010-06-07 16:15:25 +0000 UTC]

Welcome.

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loverz116 In reply to LoveDestructive [2010-06-08 19:39:40 +0000 UTC]

^_^ you write well.

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LoveDestructive In reply to loverz116 [2010-06-08 19:49:52 +0000 UTC]

Thank you....eh?

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loverz116 In reply to LoveDestructive [2010-06-10 23:51:00 +0000 UTC]

you welcome. :]

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LoveDestructive In reply to loverz116 [2010-06-11 00:51:32 +0000 UTC]

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loverz116 In reply to LoveDestructive [2010-06-12 01:14:43 +0000 UTC]

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LoveDestructive In reply to loverz116 [2010-06-13 21:57:28 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

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Starlight34 [2010-06-03 18:14:17 +0000 UTC]

1. sad, but i like the confusion to it
2. it depends...if its awkward to you right now, then no.
3. yes...the confusion is very nice. it shows that people don't really understand one who is suicidal. I also like how he manipulates the girl in the story...only telling her so much.

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loverz116 In reply to Starlight34 [2010-06-04 01:24:06 +0000 UTC]

1. glad you like the confusion.
most people don't like it, haha.
2. very awkward.
3. thanks ever so much!

^_^

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Starlight34 In reply to loverz116 [2010-06-04 01:53:24 +0000 UTC]

awwww, NBD!!! i say you keep it as is right now...but its all up to you...

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loverz116 In reply to Starlight34 [2010-06-04 01:56:42 +0000 UTC]

...NBD? haha, what does that mean?
and i totally am not changing it. ;]

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Starlight34 In reply to loverz116 [2010-06-04 01:57:35 +0000 UTC]

No Big Deal...its okay..i won't judge you...i suck at text lingo too...

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loverz116 In reply to Starlight34 [2010-06-04 02:00:57 +0000 UTC]

oh! i don't really do the whole text lingo.
good thing i haven't talked to anyone yet
who uses text lingo a lot. XD

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Starlight34 In reply to loverz116 [2010-06-04 02:05:12 +0000 UTC]

yeah...same here...i was being a poser i guess...i give myself credit for trying though...

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loverz116 In reply to Starlight34 [2010-06-04 02:10:45 +0000 UTC]

why be a poser? that's so not you, i guess.
credit for trying to be a poser? none from me, doll. :]
i like to see that everyone can be true to themselves.

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Starlight34 In reply to loverz116 [2010-06-04 02:27:53 +0000 UTC]

yeah...can't play a poser real well...haha i'll stick to lame old me...

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loverz116 In reply to Starlight34 [2010-06-04 02:41:46 +0000 UTC]

stop putting yourself down. it's annoying.
from what i see so far, you seem awesome!

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Starlight34 In reply to loverz116 [2010-06-04 13:07:16 +0000 UTC]

okay...haha...i'll stop!

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loverz116 In reply to Starlight34 [2010-06-12 01:51:26 +0000 UTC]

good.

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xxladouleurexquisexx [2010-03-14 16:14:47 +0000 UTC]

mygodlovely. it kinda brings up thoughts & little films inside my head i wish to forget but ohsohow i love it.

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loverz116 In reply to xxladouleurexquisexx [2010-03-14 19:31:02 +0000 UTC]

i'm sorry it brought up unwanted thoughts/films
but i'm so glad you liked this.

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Kupo9089 [2010-03-12 00:40:39 +0000 UTC]

Reading this brought back memories I wished were gone.
I have to thank you dearly for that. (and I actually mean that.)
It could work as prose, and it would be quite depressing.
It's morbid. I like it.

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loverz116 In reply to Kupo9089 [2010-03-13 03:26:10 +0000 UTC]

wow-i don't know how me bringing back memories
you wished were gone makes you thank me.
thank you very much, lovely.

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Kupo9089 In reply to loverz116 [2010-03-13 06:39:20 +0000 UTC]

I don't want to forget completely.

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loverz116 In reply to Kupo9089 [2010-03-15 02:50:51 +0000 UTC]

i don't think it's even possible to forget.

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Kupo9089 In reply to loverz116 [2010-03-17 20:28:37 +0000 UTC]

I guess you can forget for a period of time, but memories are brought back by things.

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loverz116 In reply to Kupo9089 [2010-03-18 01:31:26 +0000 UTC]

that is exactly what i wanted to say-
i just couldn't get it out. XD

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Kupo9089 In reply to loverz116 [2010-03-18 04:11:38 +0000 UTC]

Haha

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loverz116 In reply to Kupo9089 [2010-03-20 20:09:15 +0000 UTC]

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storyofmylife054 [2010-03-11 03:59:21 +0000 UTC]

hmm, I don't know what you think is off? I like it. I don't think it's your best work, but I do like it (:

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loverz116 In reply to storyofmylife054 [2010-03-13 03:25:12 +0000 UTC]

i don't know either-it's just a feeling i get when i reread it.
aww, i'm glad you at least like it. :] thanks!

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storyofmylife054 In reply to loverz116 [2010-03-13 22:00:51 +0000 UTC]

I can understand that, and anytime honey (:

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6nine-eyes9 [2010-03-10 23:58:11 +0000 UTC]

well, I do find some kind of innosence in the poem, but a perverted one

is very good indeed

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loverz116 In reply to 6nine-eyes9 [2010-03-13 03:23:59 +0000 UTC]

O-o...COOL.

haha i'm glad.

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IDotheClickyClick [2010-03-10 21:50:42 +0000 UTC]

it would make an exelant but sad prose

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loverz116 In reply to IDotheClickyClick [2010-03-13 03:24:10 +0000 UTC]

^_^ thanks.

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hannah-m-bella [2010-03-09 19:50:59 +0000 UTC]

the title perfectly matches it, and i think it's really very good -- i think it could make excellent prose [:

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loverz116 In reply to hannah-m-bella [2010-03-13 03:24:32 +0000 UTC]

^_^ thank you! i think i will try to write it as a prose.

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hannah-m-bella In reply to loverz116 [2010-03-13 03:51:46 +0000 UTC]

yay !

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