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loverz116 — let's play suicide
Published: 2010-03-09 06:58:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 838; Favourites: 27; Downloads: 5
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Description
"i'm sorry."
"for what?"
"i just want to end it."
"...end what?"
"my life."
"oh."
"say you'll miss me."
-
i was six years old
and
he was not too young to do it
and
i continued to play life after
and
he was 13 years old.
-
"i'll miss you."
"now cover your ears."
"why?"
"it'll be loud."
"what will be loud?"
-
i wish i covered my eyes
and
i heard bangbangbang everywhere
and
my ears never stopped hurting since
and
my white dress was ruined by ruby dots.
-
"my death."
"what kind of game is this?"
"...game over, kiddo."
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Comments: 41
There was a definite innocence. I felt like it was a relative...someone close maybe... This is a very strong piece.
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1. sad, but i like the confusion to it
2. it depends...if its awkward to you right now, then no.
3. yes...the confusion is very nice. it shows that people don't really understand one who is suicidal. I also like how he manipulates the girl in the story...only telling her so much.
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1. glad you like the confusion.
most people don't like it, haha.
2. very awkward.
3. thanks ever so much!
^_^
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awwww, NBD!!! i say you keep it as is right now...but its all up to you...
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...NBD? haha, what does that mean?
and i totally am not changing it. ;]
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No Big Deal...its okay..i won't judge you...i suck at text lingo too...
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oh! i don't really do the whole text lingo.
good thing i haven't talked to anyone yet
who uses text lingo a lot. XD
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yeah...same here...i was being a poser i guess...i give myself credit for trying though...
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why be a poser? that's so not you, i guess.
credit for trying to be a poser? none from me, doll. :]
i like to see that everyone can be true to themselves.
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yeah...can't play a poser real well...haha i'll stick to lame old me...
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stop putting yourself down. it's annoying.
from what i see so far, you seem awesome!
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mygodlovely. it kinda brings up thoughts & little films inside my head i wish to forget but ohsohow i love it.
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but i'm so glad you liked this.
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Reading this brought back memories I wished were gone.
I have to thank you dearly for that. (and I actually mean that.)
It could work as prose, and it would be quite depressing.
It's morbid. I like it.
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wow-i don't know how me bringing back memories
you wished were gone makes you thank me.
thank you very much, lovely.
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I don't want to forget completely.
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i don't think it's even possible to forget.
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I guess you can forget for a period of time, but memories are brought back by things.
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that is exactly what i wanted to say-
i just couldn't get it out. XD
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hmm, I don't know what you think is off? I like it. I don't think it's your best work, but I do like it (:
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i don't know either-it's just a feeling i get when i reread it.
aww, i'm glad you at least like it. :] thanks!
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well, I do find some kind of innosence in the poem, but a perverted one
is very good indeed
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O-o...COOL.
haha i'm glad.
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the title perfectly matches it, and i think it's really very good -- i think it could make excellent prose [:
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^_^ thank you! i think i will try to write it as a prose.
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