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Wow I have... actually improved? Like, visibly? What kind of magic is this??

Okay xD soo, this was actually a really good year for me! I feel like I haven't had such a leap in my art since 2014.

While it seems like I haven't experimented as much as I did in previous years, it feels like the new things I did try were more focused.

Obviously I finally started to have some backgrounds in my artworks, or at least shapes to spice up the nothingness around characters. I also tried to play around with my lineart a lot bc I can never really decide whether I prefer messy or clean ones.

This year wasn't super productive, especially at the start and end, since university demands a lot of attention from me, but I am quite satisfied with the pieces I managed to produce.

In 2019 there are a few things I want to focus on!

- Firstly, keep up the BGs. I still haven't figured them out but I'm getting there and only practise makes perfect.

- Secondly, I wanna 'relearn' drawing humans. I have noticed that I got lazy with them and while I still manage to draw them, sometimes it takes me just way too long to get the basics down and I really want to streamline this process for me.

- And thirdly, I want to focus on personal work. This part is gonna be long so get ready.

This year alone has been a lot of commissions and gift art, which I don't mind at all, mind you. It simply is something completely different to draw for oneself. Half of this summary is comprised of those things. And even the pieces I did draw for myself are mostly linked to something that isn't my own idea, world or such.

Just looking at this now I realise I haven't included a single piece of Jojo. For those who don't know, Jojo is my favourite character, I love him to pieces and whenever I don't know what to draw, he's usually what I default to. Of course I have drawn him but I never committed to a bigger piece with him that was worth uploading and that alone makes me really sad.
It was my own decision to take on commissions and it is my own decision to draw gift art, of course. I will continue drawing them, no questions asked. But! I want to reduce them to a minimum. I will finish the things I have left to do and then... I might take a break.

Not from comms or gift art, but from dA itself.

Only a few days ago I noticed that I have been on deviantArt for the better part of my art career. It has become a standard for me to finish an artwork and immediately upload it. Because that is all I have done for the past 8 years and honestly, I am not okay with that.
I feel like my art is only there to please other people. I want to make them smile with my comics, I want them to enjoy my art. But what is left for me if all I do is for anybody but me?
Don't get me wrong, I love drawing for other people. It makes me happy to make others happy.

It simply feels like I have unlearned to enjoy my own art.
Don't get me wrong, I don't draw to seek attention. I don't need to be well known or famous, although that would be a very nice extra xD
But whenever I upload something, and it is usually personal art of things random people don't care about, and I don't get the feeling of people enjoying it it seems to me I have done something wrong.
Of course that doesn't have to be the norm and enough people generate interest in their personal things but it takes a longs time and dedication and I feel like those are some things I have never gotten the chance to learn.

I want to be able to draw something just because I want to, without worrying whether other people would care.
I want to be able to finish a piece without the need to immediately upload it somewhere to show off because 'others have to see it too'.
I want to be able to just sketch for myself and enjoy the process and not care if the quality is good or not.

I want to do things for myself without feeling bad.

And don't worry, I don't want to quit deviantArt. But I do want to take a step back from it and I do want to change my experience and habits. I want to do the things that I feel I would enjoy for myself and not constantly be plagued by the worries of opinions of others.

This has gotten a bit rambly but I really wanted to write all of this somewhere for people to read so they'd know how I feel :'D I usually neglect doing stuff like this in favour of not alienating people when they view my art but I think this is something I want to change as well

For anyone who has kept reading until now, thank you! I truly am grateful for you taking your time to read my concerns and I hope you understand. In the grand scheme of things we all are just little anonymous piles of pixels but behind every synonym and icon there is a real person and I want to start taking more care of the one that calls themself Luunan

May we all have a good start into 2019 and do some great things

Haha it almost feels wrong to do this after all of what I've written just now but as is tradition, here's my summaries from the last 2 years :'D
Don't worry, they don't come with a wall of text unlike this one x'D

Description
Wow I have... actually improved? Like, visibly? What kind of magic is this??

Okay xD soo, this was actually a really good year for me! I feel like I haven't had such a leap in my art since 2014.

While it seems like I haven't experimented as much as I did in previous years, it feels like the new things I did try were more focused.

Obviously I finally started to have some backgrounds in my artworks, or at least shapes to spice up the nothingness around characters. I also tried to play around with my lineart a lot bc I can never really decide whether I prefer messy or clean ones.

This year wasn't super productive, especially at the start and end, since university demands a lot of attention from me, but I am quite satisfied with the pieces I managed to produce.

In 2019 there are a few things I want to focus on!

- Firstly, keep up the BGs. I still haven't figured them out but I'm getting there and only practise makes perfect.

- Secondly, I wanna 'relearn' drawing humans. I have noticed that I got lazy with them and while I still manage to draw them, sometimes it takes me just way too long to get the basics down and I really want to streamline this process for me.

- And thirdly, I want to focus on personal work. This part is gonna be long so get ready.

This year alone has been a lot of commissions and gift art, which I don't mind at all, mind you. It simply is something completely different to draw for oneself. Half of this summary is comprised of those things. And even the pieces I did draw for myself are mostly linked to something that isn't my own idea, world or such.

Just looking at this now I realise I haven't included a single piece of Jojo. For those who don't know, Jojo is my favourite character, I love him to pieces and whenever I don't know what to draw, he's usually what I default to. Of course I have drawn him but I never committed to a bigger piece with him that was worth uploading and that alone makes me really sad.
It was my own decision to take on commissions and it is my own decision to draw gift art, of course. I will continue drawing them, no questions asked. But! I want to reduce them to a minimum. I will finish the things I have left to do and then... I might take a break.

Not from comms or gift art, but from dA itself.

Only a few days ago I noticed that I have been on deviantArt for the better part of my art career. It has become a standard for me to finish an artwork and immediately upload it. Because that is all I have done for the past 8 years and honestly, I am not okay with that.
I feel like my art is only there to please other people. I want to make them smile with my comics, I want them to enjoy my art. But what is left for me if all I do is for anybody but me?
Don't get me wrong, I love drawing for other people. It makes me happy to make others happy.

It simply feels like I have unlearned to enjoy my own art.
Don't get me wrong, I don't draw to seek attention. I don't need to be well known or famous, although that would be a very nice extra xD
But whenever I upload something, and it is usually personal art of things random people don't care about, and I don't get the feeling of people enjoying it it seems to me I have done something wrong.
Of course that doesn't have to be the norm and enough people generate interest in their personal things but it takes a longs time and dedication and I feel like those are some things I have never gotten the chance to learn.

I want to be able to draw something just because I want to, without worrying whether other people would care.
I want to be able to finish a piece without the need to immediately upload it somewhere to show off because 'others have to see it too'.
I want to be able to just sketch for myself and enjoy the process and not care if the quality is good or not.

I want to do things for myself without feeling bad.

And don't worry, I don't want to quit deviantArt. But I do want to take a step back from it and I do want to change my experience and habits. I want to do the things that I feel I would enjoy for myself and not constantly be plagued by the worries of opinions of others.

This has gotten a bit rambly but I really wanted to write all of this somewhere for people to read so they'd know how I feel :'D I usually neglect doing stuff like this in favour of not alienating people when they view my art but I think this is something I want to change as well

For anyone who has kept reading until now, thank you! I truly am grateful for you taking your time to read my concerns and I hope you understand. In the grand scheme of things we all are just little anonymous piles of pixels but behind every synonym and icon there is a real person and I want to start taking more care of the one that calls themself Luunan

May we all have a good start into 2019 and do some great things

Haha it almost feels wrong to do this after all of what I've written just now but as is tradition, here's my summaries from the last 2 years :'D
Don't worry, they don't come with a wall of text unlike this one x'D