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Description
a two-parter!

here's the story mentioned in the narrator text
Jam Meets The Blunder Twins (Horse Body-Swap)The city of Dicksville, a town full of degenerate weirdos and weirdo degenerates. It is a silly place, just like any normal city or town. The town was home to the Garrett twins, the silliest cartoon duo this side of "Ren & Stimpy". They were comprised of Lauren, the vulgar pink-shirted redhead who cusses more often than your cousin when he loses at video-games. Then there was Burger, an overtly goofy young boy with light-blue hair and a grey T-shirt.The pair had just won first place in the "502nd Annual Battle of The Bands", a competition that involves pelting other people with rubber-bands for hours straight. The last time they had entered, everybody "won" and got a pristine prize of 10,001 dollars. Lauren knew that if she and her brother would enter again this year, that they'd have to win first prize and get ALL the money!Unfortunately for the duo, they didn't know that the prize budget had been cut harder than the animation budget of a filler episode of Naruto. Lauren grumbled to herself as she walked away from the contest battlegrounds with her brother. "Freaking butt-munchers! Can't believe they'd gip us on the prize!" Lauren grumbled as she held a small cardboard box in her hand."At least we got a box, Lauren! Imagine all the uses we could get out of a box, like making a box-trap!" Exclaimed Burger as he eagerly waved his arms around. "Boxes are lame! You can't buy the new "X-Box Series X Times X Maximum Overdrive X" with just boxes.""True, but this is more than just a box! Remember, they told us that there a "surprise inside". We just gotta get home to open it!" Lauren stopped dead in her tracks after Burger said his spiel. A mischievous grin formed across her youthful face. "But what if there's a genie inside?!""REALLY?! OPEN IT! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!" Burger vibrated up and down like a mouse having seizure, causing Lauren's grin to grow even wider. She always found it easy to get Burger to agree to stuff. "If you say so! Let's open it up and hope this prize doesn't totally suck!"Lauren slowly but surely lifted the lid off the cardboard box. As soon as she did, large blue beams of light emerged from it. She held up the glowing box in her hands with an eyebrow raised out of curiosity. "Oh sweet, here comes the genie!" Shouted Burger."I was joking, Burger! Genies don't live in boxes! Then again, Satan lives in a magic lamp..." The lights from the box grew more intense as smoke started to leak out of it. The smoke made its way into Lauren's eyes, causing them to water. She dropped the box as she gently rubbed her eyelids."Stupid ass-battling special effects!" Lauren's eye-rubbing was interrupted by a booming voice from within the smoke, "Language, this is a PG story!" Lauren grumbled, she hated it when people tried to censor her! "Stupid genie dick-mangler! Get out here this second and start granting us wishes!""I am no genie, young lady. I am..." The smoke cleared, revealing a 3 foot tall anthropomorphic monkey-scientist. He wore an unbuttoned lab-coat and was clad head-to-toe in a coat of shaggy brown fur. He had hands for feet, a long prehensile tail, and a tiny pink nose."...Jam!" The monkey finished saying as he bowed before the twins. "Did you really need to do an entrance like that? You're a monkey-scientist, not a stage magi---" Burger cut Lauren off before she could finish, "I'm Burger!"Just then, an awkward silence hit the trio as Burger and Jam awkwardly stared at each other. The silence was eventually broken by the pair shouting in unison, "Your name is delicious!" Lauren threw her hands against her face in disgust. "Great, now we're stealing TeamFourStar jokes! We've reached a peak low for comedy...""So, what kind of prize are you, Jam? Just a simian sidekick or a monkey-butler? Ooh, please say butler!" Shouted Burger, prompting Jam to shake his head in response. "Nope, the prize is just for the winners to hang out with me for the day! So... Where is everybody?" Asked the inquisitive monkey."We are "everybody", monkey-breath! We're the only ones who won the contest!" Shouted Lauren with her arms crossed. "Really? Weird, I was told the contest runners were doing that "everybody wins" thing again, like they had been doing for the past couple years.""Oh, I'm sure they were going to do that, but we cheated. We turned ourselves into cheetahs with rubber-band cannons strapped to our backs. With intense speed and ferocity, we eliminated the competition." Said Lauren with a malicious smile."We also got locked in the zoo for several hours after the contest! I fought a gorilla!" Jam snickered at what the pair said. "So you cheated? Awesome! I've always felt that people should cheat at stupid contests. Then again, I am semi-evil, so that probably contributes to my stance on the subject...""So, what happens now?" Asked Lauren as she stared the monkey. The simian smiled as he reached into his tiny lab-coat pocket and pulled out a pair of rather large body-swap helmets. One may wonder how such big and bulky helmets could fit in such a small pocket, but it's not like this series has ever adhered to this silly thing called "logic" before!"We do a little mind-swappage with these helmets of mine, that's what happens next!" Lauren giggled herself as she got an idea. "Say, do you mind explaining how these helmets work and the safety precautions behind them in excruciating detail?" Asked the mischievous Lauren. "Well, you see..."Jam began his overtly long and needlessly convoluted explanation of how his simplistic helmets worked, all while his eyes were closed. "Quickly, while he's distracted." Shouted Lauren as she turned to Burger. "Gotcha, I know all about the long monologue trick, Sis!"With the monkey distracted, Lauren ran up and grabbed the helmets. She placed one on the monkey's head, while snickering to herself. "Ooh, who are you going to swap him with, Lauren? Is it me?" Asked Burger as he pointed at himself eagerly. "Of course not! You scratch your butt enough as is. No, I have very specific plans for this monkey..."Lauren then ran away from the monkey, with Burger in hot pursuit. They ran until they reached a nearby stable, which was conviently unlocked. This was a very common occurrence in Dicksville, as the city ran on "Grand Theft Auto" logic and everyone kept everything unlocked at all times.The two found a large and muscular stallion, one with brown fur and a mane of black hair. It had shiny black hooves and a long hairy tail, which was also black. "Perfect!" Lauren exclaimed. She then threw the helmet onto the horse's head using her impossibly stretchy blue scarf. "What're you gonna do next, sis?" Lauren grumbled as she moved her hand towards the red button on the remote, "Do you really have to ask?""Wait, you're giving him a buff bod? I thought you'd make him a pig or something!" Shouted Burger. "I would, but having a mode of transport with genius intellect seems like a good combo!" Burger nodded in agreement, "Now that's a plan I can't say NEIGH to!" Lauren glared at Burger, "Your puns are one of the many banes of my existence... Anyway, let's get this swapping show on the road!"Lauren then placed the silver helmet on the horse's head. It let out a dull and confused whinny as Lauren pressed the red button on the remote connected to the helmets. It instantly teleported Jam's and the horse's minds into each other's bodies! Lauren pulled the helmet off of Jam's now equine head as he continued to rattle off about the helmet's capabilities with his eyes closed."..And that is just one of the many complexities associated with these helmets! Any questions?" Asked the new horse, who now bore Jam's hair-style as well as his colorization. "Yeah, did you notice we've horsing around?" Jam looked down and quickly confirmed that Burger's pun was right on the on the money. "Woah!" Shouted the talking horse.He had shiny black hooves, a long furry tail, and a coat of magnificent brown fur. He had a mane so luxurious that the mere amount of shine bouncing off of it could blind aliens in space. He curiously lifted a hoof and then planted it firmly in the dirt."Now you see sis, if I was talking to the horse, I would've said "monkeying around", it works on two levels and---" Before Burger could finish, Lauren raised her voice at him, "Shut up!" Jam was too taken aback at his new body to notice the twins arguing. "Darn it, I can't believe I got body-swapped by Billy and Mandy!" Exclaimed the horse out loud, causing Lauren to turn her attention to him.Lauren glared at the former simian. "Sorry, I meant "Lauren and Burger". Better?" Lauren nodded, "Much! As for why you're a horse now, imagine the chaos we could wreak with a genius horse! We could ride on your back while eating pie, while you calculate the square root of pi!""That sounds like a proper and logical use of a mind-swap helmet! What could possibly go wrong?" Jam asked as he winked at the reader. "Let us gallop off into the distance!" Shouted Lauren as she and Burger hopped onto the horse's back."Onward, silly steed!" Shouted Lauren as she kicked at the horse's sides. "Ouch! Was the kicking really necessary?" Asked Jam as he proceeded to trot forward. "Not really, but it's fun!" Jam sighed as he continued to trot along, until they came near a gas station."Stop here, we need to pick up some pie!" Exclaimed Lauren. "You can buy pie at a gas station?" Asked the confused horse. "This is Dicksville, you can buy anything anywhere! The only thing you can't buy is any sense of normalcy. Let's go, Burger!" Shouted Lauren, while looking around for her brother. She spotted him inside the gas station itself! "Way ahead of you, Lauren!" Shouted Burger, who had somehow acquired teleportation powers."Huh, didn't know he could do that! I'll be right back. Stay fresh, horsey!" With that, Lauren left to go look after her brother and get some pie. Jam whistled to himself while waving his tail back and forth. As he sat there shaking his tail, he spotted a hot lady approaching him! She had long blue hair and wore a pair of rather cool-looking glasses! She wore a grey long-sleeved shirt, with an orange undershirt underneath it. She wore a pair of orange pants that tightly hugged her wide hips.She wiggled her hips as the blue-haired vixen walked down the street. That's when she spotted the horse and walked up to him. She began to gently stroke his mane while giggling to herself. "You'll make some fiiiiiiiine glue!" Exclaimed the lady. "Woah, what?! Lady, I'm not a real horse! I'm just a horse in a monkey's body!""Relax, I'm kidding! Well, I'm probably kidding. Whatever! Anyway, I better going! I've got not time for talking horses today!" Exclaimed the fine lady as she walked away. Not too long after, Burger and Lauren returned with pie. "Who was that beautiful yet crass blue-haired woman just now?!""That's our mom, dude." Replied Lauren. "Woah, your mom is hot!" Shouted the horse. Lauren sighed as she leaped onto Jam's back, the pie still clutched firmly in her hands. "We get that a lot! Now, start calculating pi and galloping while we eat pie!" Jam chuckled to himself. "You got it, boss!"Jam then proceeded to gallop away, before Burger could even hop on the horse's back! He grabbed onto the horse's tail as he was pulled along. "This is better than ALL of the theme-park attractions combined!"Jam calculated pi as Lauren ate some pie, all while enjoying the atmosphere. They road off into the sunset and onwards towards more adventures! However, one tingling question remained. One question scraped at the back of their minds with the raw intensity of a million burning suns. That question was this: What happened to the horse in Jam's body?On the other side of town, the horse-turned-monkey was "trotting" about on his monkey paws. He trotted about until being caught by a nearby net, which was being held by animal control officer. "Time to get you back to the zoo, little guy!" Exclaimed the animal control guy as he carried the former horse off. "Neigh?" The horse let out a confused whinny as he was carried off. Oh, so that's what happened to him! Jam would be in for a an unwelcome surprise when he returned to his body.

Description
a two-parter!

here's the story mentioned in the narrator text
Jam Meets The Blunder Twins (Horse Body-Swap)The city of Dicksville, a town full of degenerate weirdos and weirdo degenerates. It is a silly place, just like any normal city or town. The town was home to the Garrett twins, the silliest cartoon duo this side of "Ren & Stimpy". They were comprised of Lauren, the vulgar pink-shirted redhead who cusses more often than your cousin when he loses at video-games. Then there was Burger, an overtly goofy young boy with light-blue hair and a grey T-shirt.The pair had just won first place in the "502nd Annual Battle of The Bands", a competition that involves pelting other people with rubber-bands for hours straight. The last time they had entered, everybody "won" and got a pristine prize of 10,001 dollars. Lauren knew that if she and her brother would enter again this year, that they'd have to win first prize and get ALL the money!Unfortunately for the duo, they didn't know that the prize budget had been cut harder than the animation budget of a filler episode of Naruto. Lauren grumbled to herself as she walked away from the contest battlegrounds with her brother. "Freaking butt-munchers! Can't believe they'd gip us on the prize!" Lauren grumbled as she held a small cardboard box in her hand."At least we got a box, Lauren! Imagine all the uses we could get out of a box, like making a box-trap!" Exclaimed Burger as he eagerly waved his arms around. "Boxes are lame! You can't buy the new "X-Box Series X Times X Maximum Overdrive X" with just boxes.""True, but this is more than just a box! Remember, they told us that there a "surprise inside". We just gotta get home to open it!" Lauren stopped dead in her tracks after Burger said his spiel. A mischievous grin formed across her youthful face. "But what if there's a genie inside?!""REALLY?! OPEN IT! OPEN IT! OPEN IT!" Burger vibrated up and down like a mouse having seizure, causing Lauren's grin to grow even wider. She always found it easy to get Burger to agree to stuff. "If you say so! Let's open it up and hope this prize doesn't totally suck!"Lauren slowly but surely lifted the lid off the cardboard box. As soon as she did, large blue beams of light emerged from it. She held up the glowing box in her hands with an eyebrow raised out of curiosity. "Oh sweet, here comes the genie!" Shouted Burger."I was joking, Burger! Genies don't live in boxes! Then again, Satan lives in a magic lamp..." The lights from the box grew more intense as smoke started to leak out of it. The smoke made its way into Lauren's eyes, causing them to water. She dropped the box as she gently rubbed her eyelids."Stupid ass-battling special effects!" Lauren's eye-rubbing was interrupted by a booming voice from within the smoke, "Language, this is a PG story!" Lauren grumbled, she hated it when people tried to censor her! "Stupid genie dick-mangler! Get out here this second and start granting us wishes!""I am no genie, young lady. I am..." The smoke cleared, revealing a 3 foot tall anthropomorphic monkey-scientist. He wore an unbuttoned lab-coat and was clad head-to-toe in a coat of shaggy brown fur. He had hands for feet, a long prehensile tail, and a tiny pink nose."...Jam!" The monkey finished saying as he bowed before the twins. "Did you really need to do an entrance like that? You're a monkey-scientist, not a stage magi---" Burger cut Lauren off before she could finish, "I'm Burger!"Just then, an awkward silence hit the trio as Burger and Jam awkwardly stared at each other. The silence was eventually broken by the pair shouting in unison, "Your name is delicious!" Lauren threw her hands against her face in disgust. "Great, now we're stealing TeamFourStar jokes! We've reached a peak low for comedy...""So, what kind of prize are you, Jam? Just a simian sidekick or a monkey-butler? Ooh, please say butler!" Shouted Burger, prompting Jam to shake his head in response. "Nope, the prize is just for the winners to hang out with me for the day! So... Where is everybody?" Asked the inquisitive monkey."We are "everybody", monkey-breath! We're the only ones who won the contest!" Shouted Lauren with her arms crossed. "Really? Weird, I was told the contest runners were doing that "everybody wins" thing again, like they had been doing for the past couple years.""Oh, I'm sure they were going to do that, but we cheated. We turned ourselves into cheetahs with rubber-band cannons strapped to our backs. With intense speed and ferocity, we eliminated the competition." Said Lauren with a malicious smile."We also got locked in the zoo for several hours after the contest! I fought a gorilla!" Jam snickered at what the pair said. "So you cheated? Awesome! I've always felt that people should cheat at stupid contests. Then again, I am semi-evil, so that probably contributes to my stance on the subject...""So, what happens now?" Asked Lauren as she stared the monkey. The simian smiled as he reached into his tiny lab-coat pocket and pulled out a pair of rather large body-swap helmets. One may wonder how such big and bulky helmets could fit in such a small pocket, but it's not like this series has ever adhered to this silly thing called "logic" before!"We do a little mind-swappage with these helmets of mine, that's what happens next!" Lauren giggled herself as she got an idea. "Say, do you mind explaining how these helmets work and the safety precautions behind them in excruciating detail?" Asked the mischievous Lauren. "Well, you see..."Jam began his overtly long and needlessly convoluted explanation of how his simplistic helmets worked, all while his eyes were closed. "Quickly, while he's distracted." Shouted Lauren as she turned to Burger. "Gotcha, I know all about the long monologue trick, Sis!"With the monkey distracted, Lauren ran up and grabbed the helmets. She placed one on the monkey's head, while snickering to herself. "Ooh, who are you going to swap him with, Lauren? Is it me?" Asked Burger as he pointed at himself eagerly. "Of course not! You scratch your butt enough as is. No, I have very specific plans for this monkey..."Lauren then ran away from the monkey, with Burger in hot pursuit. They ran until they reached a nearby stable, which was conviently unlocked. This was a very common occurrence in Dicksville, as the city ran on "Grand Theft Auto" logic and everyone kept everything unlocked at all times.The two found a large and muscular stallion, one with brown fur and a mane of black hair. It had shiny black hooves and a long hairy tail, which was also black. "Perfect!" Lauren exclaimed. She then threw the helmet onto the horse's head using her impossibly stretchy blue scarf. "What're you gonna do next, sis?" Lauren grumbled as she moved her hand towards the red button on the remote, "Do you really have to ask?""Wait, you're giving him a buff bod? I thought you'd make him a pig or something!" Shouted Burger. "I would, but having a mode of transport with genius intellect seems like a good combo!" Burger nodded in agreement, "Now that's a plan I can't say NEIGH to!" Lauren glared at Burger, "Your puns are one of the many banes of my existence... Anyway, let's get this swapping show on the road!"Lauren then placed the silver helmet on the horse's head. It let out a dull and confused whinny as Lauren pressed the red button on the remote connected to the helmets. It instantly teleported Jam's and the horse's minds into each other's bodies! Lauren pulled the helmet off of Jam's now equine head as he continued to rattle off about the helmet's capabilities with his eyes closed."..And that is just one of the many complexities associated with these helmets! Any questions?" Asked the new horse, who now bore Jam's hair-style as well as his colorization. "Yeah, did you notice we've horsing around?" Jam looked down and quickly confirmed that Burger's pun was right on the on the money. "Woah!" Shouted the talking horse.He had shiny black hooves, a long furry tail, and a coat of magnificent brown fur. He had a mane so luxurious that the mere amount of shine bouncing off of it could blind aliens in space. He curiously lifted a hoof and then planted it firmly in the dirt."Now you see sis, if I was talking to the horse, I would've said "monkeying around", it works on two levels and---" Before Burger could finish, Lauren raised her voice at him, "Shut up!" Jam was too taken aback at his new body to notice the twins arguing. "Darn it, I can't believe I got body-swapped by Billy and Mandy!" Exclaimed the horse out loud, causing Lauren to turn her attention to him.Lauren glared at the former simian. "Sorry, I meant "Lauren and Burger". Better?" Lauren nodded, "Much! As for why you're a horse now, imagine the chaos we could wreak with a genius horse! We could ride on your back while eating pie, while you calculate the square root of pi!""That sounds like a proper and logical use of a mind-swap helmet! What could possibly go wrong?" Jam asked as he winked at the reader. "Let us gallop off into the distance!" Shouted Lauren as she and Burger hopped onto the horse's back."Onward, silly steed!" Shouted Lauren as she kicked at the horse's sides. "Ouch! Was the kicking really necessary?" Asked Jam as he proceeded to trot forward. "Not really, but it's fun!" Jam sighed as he continued to trot along, until they came near a gas station."Stop here, we need to pick up some pie!" Exclaimed Lauren. "You can buy pie at a gas station?" Asked the confused horse. "This is Dicksville, you can buy anything anywhere! The only thing you can't buy is any sense of normalcy. Let's go, Burger!" Shouted Lauren, while looking around for her brother. She spotted him inside the gas station itself! "Way ahead of you, Lauren!" Shouted Burger, who had somehow acquired teleportation powers."Huh, didn't know he could do that! I'll be right back. Stay fresh, horsey!" With that, Lauren left to go look after her brother and get some pie. Jam whistled to himself while waving his tail back and forth. As he sat there shaking his tail, he spotted a hot lady approaching him! She had long blue hair and wore a pair of rather cool-looking glasses! She wore a grey long-sleeved shirt, with an orange undershirt underneath it. She wore a pair of orange pants that tightly hugged her wide hips.She wiggled her hips as the blue-haired vixen walked down the street. That's when she spotted the horse and walked up to him. She began to gently stroke his mane while giggling to herself. "You'll make some fiiiiiiiine glue!" Exclaimed the lady. "Woah, what?! Lady, I'm not a real horse! I'm just a horse in a monkey's body!""Relax, I'm kidding! Well, I'm probably kidding. Whatever! Anyway, I better going! I've got not time for talking horses today!" Exclaimed the fine lady as she walked away. Not too long after, Burger and Lauren returned with pie. "Who was that beautiful yet crass blue-haired woman just now?!""That's our mom, dude." Replied Lauren. "Woah, your mom is hot!" Shouted the horse. Lauren sighed as she leaped onto Jam's back, the pie still clutched firmly in her hands. "We get that a lot! Now, start calculating pi and galloping while we eat pie!" Jam chuckled to himself. "You got it, boss!"Jam then proceeded to gallop away, before Burger could even hop on the horse's back! He grabbed onto the horse's tail as he was pulled along. "This is better than ALL of the theme-park attractions combined!"Jam calculated pi as Lauren ate some pie, all while enjoying the atmosphere. They road off into the sunset and onwards towards more adventures! However, one tingling question remained. One question scraped at the back of their minds with the raw intensity of a million burning suns. That question was this: What happened to the horse in Jam's body?On the other side of town, the horse-turned-monkey was "trotting" about on his monkey paws. He trotted about until being caught by a nearby net, which was being held by animal control officer. "Time to get you back to the zoo, little guy!" Exclaimed the animal control guy as he carried the former horse off. "Neigh?" The horse let out a confused whinny as he was carried off. Oh, so that's what happened to him! Jam would be in for a an unwelcome surprise when he returned to his body.