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LyricaBelachium β CF 01 CHP 01 PG 01
Published: 2010-11-10 18:02:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 4188; Favourites: 56; Downloads: 20
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Yeah, I felt really frustrated and unaccomplished with this page in the first version of conditional freedom comics, so I re-did this page to see if it was worth re-drawing the whole thing...comparison can be seen here: [link]
what do you guys think?
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Comments: 30
I like the first one better. It kind of had a nice suspenseful first-impression that I liked.
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Indeed, this looks awesome. XD NullRay makes a good point, one that did not come up in the original . . . Where is Magnus? :-P
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he dun care =3=
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I like the slight redesigns of the characters better in this version of CF, though the other version's were still awesome nonetheless. The panels seem more tied together, and the font matches better in my opinion.
It looks great!
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This is much better than the first attempt. The tone, the mood the colors and flow all make more sense and add emphasis to what the characters are saying.
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MUCH BETTER! And I think the dialogue runs smoother here.
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This is a lot better! I love the detail and colors on this.
I noticed that NullRay is missing his Autobot symbol :/
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Wow.... I've never seen such awesomeness from a TF comic before..... TOTAL AWESOMESAUSE! I hope you continue this!
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I think THIS IS MADNESS!
...
Agora posso usar os tais Memes que nΓ£o conheces atΓ© ao fim dos tempos BD
Also, I should follow the comic since the beginning.
On an attentive note: I believe it did improve, although minor issues came out.
From top to bottom, following panel reading:
The scenery in comparison is completely changed, all for the better, the previous ones looked rather simplistic. Speech balloons and characters look much more vivid and well put.
Now, has a first time reader, I'm pretty confused as to the "who, what, where, when, how, why", so I can't drop my opinion in there and on the first spacial presentation, has it's probably my fault. Most of the same as to what exactly are those little light tablets, although the previous one gave a hint in that aspect.
Cutting to the chase, as to what jumped more at me, was the last panel, NullRay's reaction. I would ask, if you were him, at that precise moment, with those precise feelings, would you pose like that? I ask this because I wouldn't myself, but that's me of course! I wouldn't leave my right hand stretched, but rather loose, perhaps even in a closed fist, just like the left one. BUT! If the intention is to actually wave the hand open in a negative manner; that would explain a lot, but any type of motion reference would help the viewer! Lines or the sorts.
That's one hand, the other one... I dunno, I think the closed fist banging on the surface looks a little awkward. The previous one has the fist well positioned, this one looks a little out of edge, not sure if you know what I mean.
Other than that, nothing crosses my mind.
This is all, of course, my view and opinion, as you may very well discord with me
Keep on the work! You're so impressively fast.
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dear lord... ok vamos ver...
minor issues? specify please.
scenery: when I first did this page, almost a year ago, this set was not yet avaiable to the public, however recently it was in the allspark almanac 2 and I thought it was a good way to improve this page if I did this meeting in an actual meeting room.
As for your confusion on who where what and how, that is natural for two reasons: 1, transformers fan books are not typically something u can read without fully knowing the series first, which I know you don't know very well so far (I will change that >3). Second, it is because this page is intended to give you some of that feeling to begin with. These two are my originally created characters and it is the first time anyone will ever read about them, the point was to give readers the feeling that something was amiss, and keep reading to try and find out what. of course I am aware that this is a double edged blade but this is how I wanted to start.
as for nullray's pose, yes I would pose like that XD.
but thats just me, one thing you need to be aware when doing comics/animation, is that u have to keep some reality to it, but at the same time exagerate when you're at a high point of action. On this page nullray is that high point, so his reaction had to be exagerated somewhat.
I did try to put a movement sort of smudge there? But it kinda wasn't working quite right... I guess I have to give it a few more attempts.
and yessss I know... fast is my middle name mah dear. my very first nickname was Allsnitch because I could keep up with 20 rpgs at the same time and not lose my train of thought while replying on time to every each of them. So yes, speed is key for me. (hence why my most popular characters are actually speedsters).
Have a look around the comics, u might actually get interested.
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not sure, did it in between very small breaks.
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oh okay! But I must say keep up trying to write part 2 of Condintial Freedom
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This is really amazing and you can just feel the emotions flying around the room^^
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The overall quality is much better, but I did prefer Titanus leaning on his fist in a look that said "Look I don't like it either but I got no choice NullRay." It worked really well, but I'd say overall this one is better.
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at least the blue guy doesn't look really bored this time
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at least the blue guy doesn't look really bored this time
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how did you do the text on the last panel?! *o* It's truly amazing.
Btw, great remake
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uhhh... chicken scratch font I think?
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O.O Nice job! I must say I like this one better. It's a lot more dramatic
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I must say that this is a remarkable remake :3
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It's always really cool to compare an older version of piece to a newer and see how the artist has grown. The paneling is more well thought out, and I like the reactions and pacing in this one better too. Great job!
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well back then panneling was very limited for me, I had the images done and no patience to do new ones. those had been previously made for a digital comic in which the pannels would have been all the same size...hence the diference...and my frustration...
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Ah, I see. That must've been really frustrating to deal with.
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