HOME | DD

LyricaBelachium — Fanfic cover :3

Published: 2010-09-16 02:09:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 2092; Favourites: 39; Downloads: 19
Redirect to original
Description Sooooo, me and have been rpg-ing for months now allways on the same rpg, and its still not finished, but we like what we made so far and we're adapting it into a fanfic.
can be read here:
Note however that there are things in this story that are NOT the way they are in our original stories!
ex:[link]

PS: the story is based on our own universe with bits and peaces from many of the original tf's.

WARNINGS:
cannonxoc stuff.
lots of lemons
mature/violence/gore
language.

So there you go, enjoy as much as we did I hope!
Related content
Comments: 48

Laserbot [2010-09-16 19:39:29 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact


Nice job on the colors and effects the only thing that I glares at me is, in relation to the helms the hands are slightly small. One method to use that I was taught for proportions that helps is that your hands should be able to cover the face when the palm is placed flat on a face, dinsa like face palming lol e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title="Wink/Razz"/>.
If for example you place your hand on your own face it should cover the majority of your it so this is a good reference to size by. This however does not always apply with mecha as Heads tend to actually be smaller then the hands/body to give the illusion of mass and weight.
However with fems in this case having larger features like Optics and a slightly larger helm is good to create feminine or attractive characteristics like what you did. Hands should be dainty but stick to proportion laws. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s… " width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/>

Designs of these two characters are unique and easy to differentiate! A definite plus especially given all the fan concepts out there that simply recolor a cannon character.

The way in which they face each other suggests some conflict in interest?? Usually when two forces/characters are on opposite sides of a page it suggests that they either come from different backgrounds and meet at some common ground or are in opposition to one another. by their neutral expression its hard to determine but I’m guessing they are not aggressive towards each other.

The effects are cool but be careful to not let them over power your piece.
Overall nice piece I definitely get that book cover/ comic book feel form it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to Laserbot [2010-09-16 19:47:02 +0000 UTC]

ah ty for my first critic *sniffle*
Yes I noticed the hands as well after a while but this cover was done in a mad rush, I had around 2-3 hours to do it and it was late at night. even though I saw the hand diference in scale I didn't have enough time to fix it unfortunatly.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Laserbot In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-16 19:51:47 +0000 UTC]

Yea Critics are hard to come by... most just dont do them...

Im glad ya saw and realised that tho! i hear you on time issues your not alone!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to Laserbot [2010-09-16 19:53:28 +0000 UTC]

yeah, my mom keeps giving me that lesson for years now, the whole put your hand on your face rule.
Since I never got to have a drawing class I suppose she wanted to make up for it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Laserbot In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-16 19:55:05 +0000 UTC]

LOL

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

soulstrifer [2011-11-17 04:53:35 +0000 UTC]

Lovely work here my dear
Glad to see I am not the only one out there doing rp and fanfic work anymore. It's really hard to find anyone who will rp anymore.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TheLoneDucky [2011-03-13 20:03:19 +0000 UTC]

I love your style of art

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Esper-Isotopes [2010-09-29 19:04:31 +0000 UTC]

Lovely artwork, as always

As for the story, since I feel I can maybe be helpful here where I'm not so much when it comes to art:

I just started reading the first chapter (I likely won't be reading much more than that since I only read rated "M" stuff under very special circumstances), but I thought I'd offer you just a teensy bit of constructive critisim (whichever one of you is actually writing/posting it).

You have three run-on sentences within the first 300 words. Now maybe it improves over time, but had I not known one of the authors from here on dA, I would have stopped reading at that point because it's just too distracting XP
When I manage to get to the end of this chapter I'll be sure to leave a review with any other advice I can offer unless you'd rather I not.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to Esper-Isotopes [2010-09-29 19:13:17 +0000 UTC]

yeah sorry about that, both me and Windy suck at editting (me in particular cuz its not even my language).
We seriously need a beta reader/editor.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Esper-Isotopes In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-29 19:15:53 +0000 UTC]

I wouldn't mind beta reading the first chapter for you if you want. Or you can search ff.net for someone or even advertise here on dA. You have a lot of fans, I'm sure it wouldn't be hard to find somebody to help you out

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to Esper-Isotopes [2010-09-29 19:24:19 +0000 UTC]

normally it wouldn't be hard if it weren't for the M rated stuff.
violence, gore and lemons stuff. Not everyone can do those. though admittingly thats not even most of our rp

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Esper-Isotopes In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-29 19:31:50 +0000 UTC]

True.
I can deal with violence a gore so long as its robots. Lemons are something of an issue though, but I could always skip that About how many are you planning on putting in?
I need to get into doing more reading/writing anyways, I haven't done much of either since I moved into the dorm, so I could probably beta most of it if you're interested.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to Esper-Isotopes [2010-09-29 19:34:43 +0000 UTC]

hnnn....well if everything ends up around the size of that chapter there should easily be more than 50 chapters by now...within those fifty we might have done around 6? I'm unsure.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Esper-Isotopes In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-29 20:19:24 +0000 UTC]

Ok, six out of fifty isn't bad I suppose. Are they very graphic? Because if any of them are just very brief I can edit those too.

You really have 50 chapters worth written out, huh? XD It makes me feel pathetic about my own works.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to Esper-Isotopes [2010-09-29 20:27:24 +0000 UTC]

it is a 3 month old rpg...and we rpg for hours....
some are very graphic others aren't. it really depends on how much info there is in it. for example in a few of them characters tend to confess things like secrets and stuff.
on one chapter ashbringer finds out that Drift's spark is infected with something because its grey. though she actually comes to think he's dying...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Esper-Isotopes In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-29 20:35:25 +0000 UTC]

XD I've been working on my fanfic for over a year now though and I'm nowhere near that many chapters. That takes some dedication XD

Yeah, that makes sense. Now I'm not quite sure how to ask this, but I just realized, how exactly....do you two have characters exchange romantic interactions such as those? I know a lot of different people write it different ways.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to Esper-Isotopes [2010-09-29 20:38:07 +0000 UTC]

not sure I quite catch what you're asking but I guess Interfacing plus spark merging (later spark bonding).
interfacing is pretty much like a human version u know what I mean >////<'
spark merging would be to get the two spark chambers close to one another without opening the glass preventing them from bonding.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Esper-Isotopes In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-30 00:11:18 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I'm ok with the spark-related ones. It's the human-ish stuff I prefer not to read unless it's brief
But regardless, if you're interested I'd be happy to beta for you two as much as my school schedule allows it. As for the lemon-type stuff we can cross that bridge when we get there of how that will work out.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

higashisgirl [2010-09-21 20:00:17 +0000 UTC]

I think looks really nice, but may I give a bit of constructive criticism?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to higashisgirl [2010-09-21 21:38:39 +0000 UTC]

sure

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

higashisgirl In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-21 22:02:52 +0000 UTC]

I think the hands are a little small for the size of the arms, but that may be just me.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to higashisgirl [2010-09-21 22:04:54 +0000 UTC]

yes that has been said previously on the critic I got here *points at it* I was in a bit of a rush (had to finish the whole thing in like 2-3 hours) and although I noticed it I had no time to go back and fix it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

higashisgirl In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-21 23:55:09 +0000 UTC]

Oh I'm sorry! I feel like an ass now. Sorry. I didn't know it had been said already!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to higashisgirl [2010-09-22 00:06:47 +0000 UTC]

s'ok, its not in your obligation to read the comments I get I apreciate that someone actually has the guts to point out my mistakes.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Neo-Draco [2010-09-21 07:45:00 +0000 UTC]

Kickass!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

LordTyranicus [2010-09-17 22:19:37 +0000 UTC]

Epic.........you can RP for years?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to LordTyranicus [2010-09-17 22:22:06 +0000 UTC]

if its interesting enough then yes.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LordTyranicus In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-17 22:36:47 +0000 UTC]

you are awesome

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to LordTyranicus [2010-09-17 22:47:24 +0000 UTC]

lol lots of years of practice

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LordTyranicus In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-17 23:52:33 +0000 UTC]

must be xD

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Zarak342 [2010-09-16 18:27:04 +0000 UTC]

Same RPG for months? Wow, I couldn't pull that one off XD
I'm gonna have a look at it as soon I'm up to date With Ash's general story and personality 8D

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to Zarak342 [2010-09-16 18:30:01 +0000 UTC]

Oh I'm the type of person that does them for lonnnng long aumonts of time. : P my record was 6 years in a row on the same if I remember right

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Zarak342 In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-16 19:45:06 +0000 UTC]

Holy effing mother Primus.
HOW?!?!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to Zarak342 [2010-09-16 19:49:40 +0000 UTC]

lol. I wasn't the rp mastah for nuthin' sweety

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Zarak342 In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-25 11:17:55 +0000 UTC]

'wasn't'? So, whose the new master? XD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to Zarak342 [2010-09-25 13:11:29 +0000 UTC]

depends. sites don't judge that sort of thing anymore as far as I know. things changed a lot.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

iiBumbleBee [2010-09-16 16:55:10 +0000 UTC]

I have no idea what to say, that is just too cooooollll c'B

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to iiBumbleBee [2010-09-16 16:56:32 +0000 UTC]

the rpg be cooler |'D

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

iiBumbleBee In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-16 17:04:28 +0000 UTC]

WOO 8D
When's the first page gonna be up

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to iiBumbleBee [2010-09-16 17:13:14 +0000 UTC]

allready is, the link is in the comment box

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

iiBumbleBee In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-16 17:39:52 +0000 UTC]

Oh yeah, it's a fanfic isn't it~ Damn I'm slow.
I'm looking now!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

WindyRen [2010-09-16 02:53:00 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

shockwavefan [2010-09-16 02:23:00 +0000 UTC]

cool

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Shimmerpaw [2010-09-16 02:20:05 +0000 UTC]

I'm interested to see how this turns out.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

CartoonFan18 [2010-09-16 02:18:33 +0000 UTC]

Which Transformers 'verse is this set in? Is it G1? It sounds like G1 Prime

It's very nice so far! Can't wait to read more!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to CartoonFan18 [2010-09-16 02:24:53 +0000 UTC]

its our own universe. we put things from each of the existing ones though

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CartoonFan18 In reply to LyricaBelachium [2010-09-16 21:20:48 +0000 UTC]

May I ask which Optimus is being used?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

LyricaBelachium In reply to CartoonFan18 [2010-09-16 21:41:13 +0000 UTC]

a bit of every optimus I believe (with the exception of shattered glass).
there are some of his references to movie, g1, WfC, idw... we like to do a lot of references and stuff to keep them real.
This optimus usually carries his typical gun and has an axe.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0