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Magdelene-du-Couray — Time
#lost #pain #romance #slowly #sorrow #time #waiting #memories
Published: 2016-01-28 15:57:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 835; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 0
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Description Time is passing by so quickly. It’s been a long time since we have spoken. I can still hear your voice. Especially on Sundays, when the soft beams of sunset burn through my bedroom window and the entire house falls silent as if falling sleep. But tonight is different.

Tonight. It’s the anniversary of the night we first met, the first time I’d ever seen you, at least in person. I study your photo on the front page and wish I could hold your hand again.

I remember hands reaching for the same wineglass and the hushed apology that you had uttered. The first words we’d ever spoken to each other was an apology. Perhaps we knew, even then, how this would turn out. It’s funny what I can find in memories that used to be happy, now having turned into sour reminders of a past I can’t relive. You had somehow seemed apart from the glittering mass of people. I remember being in awe that you’d even speak to me, let alone ask me to dance. Then that whole tragedy turned dream afterwards.

That morning on the mountaintop, surrounded by fog and dew, I should have known that the moment I seated myself next to you, that the reckless abandon and anticipation that I feeling would consume me. How the endless possibility of it all seemed so vast and yet now I know that it wasn’t endless at all.

When you had kissed me, the scent of you overwhelmed me, the daring scent of your spiced soap. When you had looked over at me with that small, knowing smile afterwards, I should have known that I’d never get over you.

I suppose, when I met you, I did know. I knew I’d have to spend my entire life avoiding you. Somehow I knew that if I stopped even for a second I’d fall so deeply in love I’d never break free. And somehow I knew I’d end up on the other side, alone and brokenhearted. But you were too stubborn or maybe I was too eager to be persuaded. Everything about you touched me deep inside. I stopped avoiding you. And I fell, slowly and surely.

Now my heart is mangled, the wound open, having been that way for months now. I miss you more than ever. Yet I tell myself that I’m better, that I’m over you. I know that it’s a lie. Still, I say it over and over again until I can’t help but believe it. I certainly want to; to be done with this heart ache and hollowness inside my chest.
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Comments: 6

SentientAberration [2016-10-26 20:28:37 +0000 UTC]

I'm going through this now. You're words are spot-on. You describe the most terrible of terrible feelings, yet I manage to derive some comfort in knowing that I'm not the only one that's felt this way.

You have a way with words. Keep with it.

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Magdelene-du-Couray In reply to SentientAberration [2016-10-27 16:16:48 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much. I hope everything turns out alright for you and that you come out on the other side happy once more. I'm glad that my words brought at least a little bit of comfort to you.

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pokkinia [2016-02-23 20:14:21 +0000 UTC]

aaaa i wish i can write like you!! this is really great ;;u;;

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Magdelene-du-Couray In reply to pokkinia [2016-02-24 13:54:34 +0000 UTC]

Haha, thank you! I'm glad you liked it. If you don't mind, may I ask what you liked best about it?

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pokkinia In reply to Magdelene-du-Couray [2016-02-24 18:41:34 +0000 UTC]

i always find it interesting when people are able to use simple words, but yet they are able to express a deep emotion. and it felt like it was a short story, explained in these small sentences that are able to reach into the reader's heart! so congratulation!!

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Magdelene-du-Couray In reply to pokkinia [2016-02-25 15:46:08 +0000 UTC]

Aw thank you very much! It's what I strive for.  

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