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Description
My cat died today.
She was 16 years old, and I can't even remember not having her in my life.
And now she is gone.
And I know that no one wants to hear about how broken my heart feels.
Or about how much I miss her.
They've already told me they're sorry for my loss.
And that is their role, already fulfilled.
They don't care that I can still smell her scent on my couch.
Or that I can't stop crying.
Or breathing into the blanket that she died on.
All because I miss her.
And I'll never hold her again.
And that blanket is all I have left, and once the scent goes away, I know that I'll forget...
And that hurts too much to bear right now.
They have no way of understanding that
I can't be around people right now... but I don't want to be alone.
That right now, I am so, so lost in grief.
They tell me she lived a good, long life.
But I already knew that.
I was there.
They tell me I should feel grateful to have known her.
But I am
I always was.
They tell me to tell them if I need anything.
But all I need right now is her.
Snuggled up to me, half on my side, half draped over, like a hug.
I'll never get to feel that again.
No one wants to hear about how I still see her..
In my mind's eye, when my heart forgets..
Sleeping on the dog bed she loved to steal.
No one wants to sit around
and listen to me talk of her.
But that is all I can think to do..
Because she is the only thing on my mind.
The only thing my heart cares about right now.
And no one cares.
Their part is done.
They are sorry for my loss.
They don't have time to hear how special she was to me..
Or listen to stories of her when she was young.
She was 16 years old.
And I grew up right beside her.
There is no one who knew her as long or well as I,
And knowing that makes me feel so alone.
Because everyone means well.
But they don't know what I need right now..
Because I don't know either.
All I want is her..

Description
My cat died today.
She was 16 years old, and I can't even remember not having her in my life.
And now she is gone.
And I know that no one wants to hear about how broken my heart feels.
Or about how much I miss her.
They've already told me they're sorry for my loss.
And that is their role, already fulfilled.
They don't care that I can still smell her scent on my couch.
Or that I can't stop crying.
Or breathing into the blanket that she died on.
All because I miss her.
And I'll never hold her again.
And that blanket is all I have left, and once the scent goes away, I know that I'll forget...
And that hurts too much to bear right now.
They have no way of understanding that
I can't be around people right now... but I don't want to be alone.
That right now, I am so, so lost in grief.
They tell me she lived a good, long life.
But I already knew that.
I was there.
They tell me I should feel grateful to have known her.
But I am
I always was.
They tell me to tell them if I need anything.
But all I need right now is her.
Snuggled up to me, half on my side, half draped over, like a hug.
I'll never get to feel that again.
No one wants to hear about how I still see her..
In my mind's eye, when my heart forgets..
Sleeping on the dog bed she loved to steal.
No one wants to sit around
and listen to me talk of her.
But that is all I can think to do..
Because she is the only thing on my mind.
The only thing my heart cares about right now.
And no one cares.
Their part is done.
They are sorry for my loss.
They don't have time to hear how special she was to me..
Or listen to stories of her when she was young.
She was 16 years old.
And I grew up right beside her.
There is no one who knew her as long or well as I,
And knowing that makes me feel so alone.
Because everyone means well.
But they don't know what I need right now..
Because I don't know either.
All I want is her..