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The No Man’s Land… The most terrible place to end up strayed. With no means of getting out, all the people who shored in No Man’s Land died a terrible death. Dehydration, suicide, all the possible deaths that could occur in that cursed land once happened. Many pirates lost their lives trying to conquer No Man’s Land.

And now, you were next.

You were stranded on that island (if that was an island) with Matthias and Lukas. Both men were having a private breakdown of their own; probably due to the scorching sun that heat up your skin. You, yourself, were on the verge of madness. You didn’t want to die there, not like that.

A slow death wasn’t your wish.

Sitting on the hot sand, on Matthias’ jacket, you closed your eyes and met with silence. Your knees were supporting your face, as you tried, so desperately, not to cry. With no means of getting out of there, the three of you were doomed to die.

“Am I a bad Captain?” Came Matthias’ low voice.

You felt a shiver running through you, afraid of what Matthias could possibly do. He usually was a confident man he never doubted himself or his abilities. You didn’t reply to Matthias’ question and neither did Lukas. The Dane repeated the question, this time louder.

“Matthias,” Lukas spoke, staring at him with venom. “Shut up.”

You lifted your head from your knees to watch Matthias’ face – so distraught, so… maddened. Matthias was suffering too, having lost his mates, his crew. He blamed himself for Emil’s death, for all his men’s deaths.

Your tears started to fill your eyes, as they slowly poured down. You sobbed into your knees, accepting your fate – as well as the state you would become. You would become like Matthias, a maddened woman before you died.

You hated yourself. You hated Matthias and the day he decided to appear in your life. You hated the moment you decided to help him. You hated the moment you decided to join his crew.

And most importantly – you hated Berwald.

“I don’t want to die,” you muttered to your knees. “I don’t want to die.”

Lukas stared at you through the corner of his eyes. Through your sobs, he could hear perfectly what you were saying. He had come into terms with his death – probably accepted it due to his little brother’s death. He actually wanted to die as he saw no meaning in living anymore.

Nevertheless, even if he did want to live, he was stranded on No Man’s Land. He was doomed to die.

*

Night had come and, with it, sleep. You were mentally weak, so you fell asleep pretty early. Matthias and Lukas did not sleep that easily, as they remained rooted on the same position for the longest hours. Matthias who tried so hard to not fall into desperation, eventually did. Dark thoughts roamed his mind, ate him away.

Answers to his previous question, came slowly to him as if they were premonitions. He was a bad Captain. He had killed Emil and his crew. If he wasn’t so addicted on facing Berwald and, consequentially, had heard his mates’ wise words, he wouldn’t have faced this tragedy. He should’ve known that Berwald was stronger, more powerful than he would ever desire to be. Plus, he had Tino by his side. Tino was the mind and soul of Berwald’s crew and, if Matthias didn’t know better, he would say that the Finnish was indeed the Captain.

Matthias would pay for all of that, he concluded. There he was, on the island where no one dares to go, and he would die rather horribly.

He just wished that you wouldn’t have been dragged into all of this.

As he watched you sleep, regret formed in his stomach. If he knew you would die so horribly he would never had accepted you into the crew – no matter your reasons. He sighed loudly, making Lukas grunt.

“What?” Lukas finally conceded, as he allowed his once Captain to talk.

“Lukas… why did you follow me?” Matthias asked, as he stared at his best friend.

“What do you mean? Follow?” Lukas snorted. “I didn’t follow you. I simply chose to go with you because I didn’t have anywhere to go.”

Matthias knew that Lukas was being spiteful because of his recent loss. It still hurt him, though, that his best friend, the one Matthias thought the most of, did not think anything of him.

You tossed in your sleep, attracting the attention of both males. Your face was still stained with dry tears, as you frowned.

“Do you think we’ll be able to get out alive?” Matthias asked, continuously staring at your form.

Lukas sighed, “Don’t get your fantasies ahead of reality.” He stared at the dark sea. “We’re stranded. There is no hope for us.”

No hope for us

“Sometimes you have to accept when your journey is over,” Lukas stated. “And, for us, it’s right now. We’re good as dead – no one will come looking for us.”

Matthias nodded, “Too bad that we didn’t get to actually do adventures.”

“What are you? Five?” Lukas shook his head. “You are worrying about that?”

Matthias felt himself smiling for the first time he arrived to the island. He saw Lukas move and arched an eyebrow as the other blond laid down. “Going to sleep,” he told his Captain. “You should too.”

If I can, that is.

*

When you woke up, you felt the scent of the sea irrupting through your nose and scowled. The two men were sleeping soundly; they must’ve been up until late the previous night. You wished you could’ve made them company but, as you stood now, you weren’t that great of a company.

You were being chased by your own fears, an endless road ahead of you.

Once again, the hot sand scorched your bare feet as you tried to walk. An impossible feat – you mused – as you decided to stick to Matthias’ jacket. Sitting down, once again, you crossed your legs underneath you and waited for the two men to wake up.

How long… how long would it take for you to die?

You were certain that you would die of dehydration, the emptiness of the so appealing liquid in you already making its known presence. You were so thirsty, your throat was dry and so was your mouth.

You needed to get some water into you.

The worst of all, you thought, was that you had plenty of water available. The sea was right in front of you, seducing you with its waves. No, you thought, you couldn’t fall into temptation. Drinking sea water was madness – you probably couldn’t even swallow it.

Matthias stirred.

He opened his baby blue eyes to watch your sitting frame, with a longing face. Once he sat on the sand, he continuously stared at you, waiting for you to speak. You, however, did not mutter any word, as you avoided his stare.

“____,” Matthias called you, trying to get your attention. “Please look at me.”

“What do you want Matthias?” you asked, still refusing to watch him.

“I’m sorry.”

Your eyes indeed went to him. His face was casted downwards, looking crestfallen. He looked guilty for something you weren’t sure about. Was he…?

“You’re sorry for what?” you asked again, moving your legs to position them with your knees under your chin.

“It was my fault.” Matthias stared at the sea. Once he did look at you, a feature of displeasure was pronounced in his face. “It was my fault that you ended up here. If I hadn’t agreed to you boarding the ship, this wouldn’t have happened.”

“Don’t be so conceited.” You pursed your lips as you ran a hand through your oily hair. After being exposed to the sea water, your hair was a complete mess. “You are not to blame. It’s not like you planned for us to end up here.”

“Don’t you hate me?”

Indeed, that was a very good question. You hated Matthias? Or did you hate yourself for being such an idiot?

Probably the latter. From where you stood now, you had no right to blame Matthias for your problems – he was in the exact same position as you were. Matthias was suffering as well.

You meekly shook your head, answering the question. Matthias’ eyes widened, as he felt tempted to move closer to you, to touch you… to kiss you.

You looked so innocent, so pure in that moment. Hugged to your legs, you placed your chin above your knees and stared at Matthias with a longing glance. Even you, you noticed, if not for the situation you were in, would kiss him senseless.

You had come to terms with your supposed feelings, if one could call it that, for the blond haired Captain. He was special, provoked you in ways you could not even begin to understand how a man could have so much power on you.

And, you thought, Matthias knew that. Or at least you thought he knew. So many times you would stare into his eyes and get lost in them. Filled with ambition and courage, Matthias shone like a light at the end of the tunnel. You, sometimes, wished to have even half of that light, as you did not gleam or shone like him.

But, right now, that gleam of his was useless. In that island there was no distinction as to who shone or not – everyone looked the same to it. Pallid, restless and slowly being driven by insanity. Your feelings did not matter in this situation, so you decided to bottle them up (even more) because they would only get in the way.

“Matthias… we’re good as dead right?” you mumbled loud enough for Matthias’ hearing.

Matthias closed his eyes and frowned, “I never believed in death,” he started, after a few moments of silence. “I never believed that I would die. You know, I was on top of the world, ___, I was the king. Never once crossed my mind that I would end up stranded in an island.”

“And now?” You continuously stared at the male as he spoke.

“Now I’m not sure. I mean, of course I’ll die – I’ve come into terms with that. But I feel that our end does not happen here.” Matthias spoke with such fierceness you were tempted to believe him. “I feel we still have much to live.

After seeing Emil die, I realized I should do something for him. Make his brother happy – even though that is quite the hard feat. Lukas, I know, will never be the same.”

You were speechless. There was nothing you could say that could make him realize he would die on this island. He was sure that he would get out alive – you didn’t know if that was one of his illusions created by his own maddened state.
You just knew one thing and one thing only: you pitied him as at the same time, envied.

*

You were not feeling well. A pounding heart bumped against your ribcage, you suffered from immense thirst and felt your tongue swollen in your mouth. You had stopped sweating a long time ago – even when you were exposed to a burning sun. Feeling dizzy, you ceased your small movements at all.

Deciding to lie down was the perfect choice, as it ultimately reminded you how frail you were and how close to death you were.

You obviously couldn’t go to sleep; not with your thirst for water. All you could think about was that godly liquid descending through your throat – which made you even thirstier for it. It was driving you mad, this slow walk towards death, as the sea now did not look that unappealing to you.

It was when you decided to take a sip of the dark waves of the ocean that you started to melt down towards darkness. It gripped your arms first, making them numb, as then followed your legs and torso, leaving behind your consciousness. Only when you decided to fall into that pit – ultimately disengaging from all the fight – you heard someone calling your name.

They were far away – whoever was calling you was so far away from you, you couldn’t reach them. You only heard a small and high pitched voice and disappeared, along with your consciousness.

You didn’t felt yourself being hugged and taken away.

The only thing that you did acknowledge was that oh so familiar scent you didn’t even have the words to describe it.

Then, you fell asleep.