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mangohooka — Outside

Published: 2005-02-03 00:31:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 152; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 14
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Description Standing anywhere, everywhere
  are people in their windows
  watching the street for life
Cars and blurs of children
  running about.
Sidewalk chalk, wrappers,
  perspiring shadows in the sun,
  quotidian creation larger
  than anything godly

In the crowd
  stand vivid colors and faceless
  circumstance and doubt
Suddenly a slow gait's wisdom,
  becomes most evident
  in this scattered city,
  a queer truth
Each biography is enormous
  constantly written
  into an overwhelming library of
  mistakes, love and war
Observation, a jarring exhail

It is the silence however, dynamic and dirty-
  a solitary calm in the storm-
  that devastates the rawest being
  or the most constructed
For, when the windows watch
  the dark grow with the moon
  the world freezes into a picture
Inside glass now reflects the light of home
  and a person they have not spoken with
  in quite awhile..
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Comments: 9

arctoa [2006-09-02 04:21:45 +0000 UTC]

This is my favourite piece of yours, I think
(at present, at least).

I enjoyed the structure of this.
The first stanza is flawless, the first line hooks the reader and there's enough throughout to keep one 'til the end of the piece
(and the pensive contemplation it brings).

One for the favourites; whoopla.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

mangohooka In reply to arctoa [2006-09-02 04:23:37 +0000 UTC]

you make me all melty.. thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

INSANE-CLOWNZ [2005-04-12 03:05:41 +0000 UTC]

I honestly think you should get more emotional with your poems, let us feel the author. You are writing about subjects, nothing that truly means anything to you. And it shows. Maybe consider writing about a deeper subject next time...

Other then, its ok.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

bluebadger [2005-03-07 01:39:13 +0000 UTC]

It feels a little jumbled, but in that it is city-like. I like the last lines, it makes me think of how I feel when I'm in a pensive mood.. Turning back from the window after watching outside life so intently, one's own life suddenly looks different and new, and they reconnect with people in my life in a fresh way.. if they ever turn back in from the window.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

BlueAeroplane [2005-02-21 13:12:17 +0000 UTC]

Hi there. You have painted a vivid picture with that poem. It's true - we generally spend so much time looking out at the world, busy in our daily lives, that we neglect what is behind the window. What matters. And it's often the dark things that remind us of that.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

mangohooka In reply to BlueAeroplane [2005-02-22 17:52:51 +0000 UTC]

thanks so much for the comment!! means a lot!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

echo-si [2005-02-18 19:03:26 +0000 UTC]

I put off reading this until I could really appreicate it.
And I do, because it's lovely. There's something very tangible about it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

mars-like [2005-02-06 07:50:57 +0000 UTC]

This poem sounded in my head with the voice of my creative writing teacher. Your style is all accessable, and makes me dream about the location of my car keys.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

KagomeResurrected [2005-02-03 01:30:24 +0000 UTC]

lovely poetryas always...please keep it up...
this is beautiful...the flow of it is just flawless

👍: 0 ⏩: 0