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Description
Ryan has, bravely, been competing on HARPG-ShowCircuit with Daredevil in Eventing. He's not a BAD jumper and he's had some extra lessons from Mark, and he was doing great, but a couple of weeks ago Devi went down

Read the story, and I'm sure you'll all understand that Mark is currently riding Daredevil in Eventing

Ref:

STORY
Ryan had never been a fan of jumping. Sure, he could jump - it would have been a crime if, after 400 years, he couldn't - but that didn't mean he had to enjoy it. There was something about the lurching sensation and the idea of being quite high off the ground on top of a potentially unstable animal that really bothered him.

More so now it could kill him.

Gradually it had been getting worse. His fear that the next time a horse freaked out could be the time it would kill him had grown and grown. Everything around him was a threat, a potential lethal accident. He had no safety net any more, no guarantee of survival.

Yet still he stood at the starting line of White Willow Creek's cross country course atop Daredevil, the mare ready and raring to go beneath him. They had gone well so far, with a clear round of jumping and a very satisfactory dressage score. Devi had been on top form lately, other than a show where she had refused enough times to get them disqualified. Ryan was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, he could get over this fear.

As the starting bell sounded, the mare beneath him lunged forwards and they set off at a fast pace. Jump after jump sailed beneath them and Ryan could sense the clear round coming on. She was on form, top of her game, and he was starting to feel confident that he could do this.

It was all going swimmingly until the sixth jump. As he counted the paces the way Mark had taught him, and as he gave the mare her head so she could prepare for the large log in front of them, he could feel that something was off. She leaped into the air too soon, almost unseating him as she tried to clear the log, and her front legs collided with the jump.

Ryan wasn't totally sure how they fell. All he could see was the world spinning and the body of a huge horse surging down towards him, her legs flailing as she panicked. He went to scurry out of the way, but soon the wind was being knocked out of him as she landed clear on top of him, a shocked gasp echoing through the crowd along the course.

Devi thrashed for a moment before she got to her feet, unharmed, but Ryan didn't dare move. His body protector had done a pretty good job, but he felt winded and crushed. Panic started to set in as he tried to turn his head to see where the mare had run off to and felt pain shoot across his chest and shoulder. His breath only got tighter as the paramedics on the course rushed over to him to assess him.

It felt like a good ten minutes of almost hyperventilating, although it was probably a lot less, before a familiar face appeared in his swimming vision, warm fingers wrapping around his wrist as the paramedics carefully assessed him.

"Look at you, holding the whole course up," Mark said with a soft grin.

"I just want off the course," he managed to say, his face deathly pale and his whole body shaking. Mark's grin quickly faded and he cast a glance to the paramedics.

"We'll get him moved," one of them said, "we aren't sure what damage has been done, we have to be careful."

Of all the luck he could have had. They had been doing so well. He had been doing so well. Now he could feel his fear back stronger than ever as he was carefully removed from the course and taken to the ambulance that was on standby. Mark stayed at his side, talking to the paramedics lightheartedly as they went. He was used to this. He didn't seem to go three months without a visit to the paramedics.

Ryan was not used to it. He hated it. He hated mortality.

"They think you've just broken your collarbone," Mark said quietly as they were left alone in the back of the ambulance briefly. "They're taking you to the hospital to be sure, but they think that's it. You'll be fine."

"I will not be fine," Ryan murmured, lacing his fingers easily with Mark's and wincing a little at the pain across his chest.

"Falls happen. Devi's okay, she's back in the trailer. Mike cleared her."

"It's not that," he sighed, closing his eyes and resting his head back against the stretcher. "I could have died."

Mark was quiet for a long moment, thumb stroking across his knuckles, before he finally spoke. "You're scared of dying."

"Terrified."

"Any of us could die at any moment," he said gently.

"Exactly. That's what's so terrifying. And I work with animals that could crush me if they landed on me. I'm lucky I didn't end up like Lee."

He removed his hand from Mark's so he could rub it over his face, letting out a rough sigh that made his ribs ache. Everything was bruised and painful.

"You can't live your life in fear like that," Mark said.

"I don't know how you all do it - go through life every day knowing that at any moment you could be gone. How are you not terrified?"

His fiance shrugged lightly and reached over to brush his hair back with his fingers. "I suppose we just don't think about it. If you live life scared, then you'll never really live."

Ryan looked over at him as his hand rested among his hair, a soft expression on his face that was full of understanding that only Mark seemed to achieve. No one shared Ryan's life experience, but this man somehow managed to get a good grasp of it regardless. He let out a long sigh and lifted his hand to take Mark's again, bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to his knuckles.

"I don't think I can ride a course again any time soon," he said quietly. Mark huffed and leaned down to kiss him softly.

"It's fine," he murmured, "I'll ride her for you. I stopped being scared of death quite some time ago."

"Lucky."

Description
Ryan has, bravely, been competing on HARPG-ShowCircuit with Daredevil in Eventing. He's not a BAD jumper and he's had some extra lessons from Mark, and he was doing great, but a couple of weeks ago Devi went down

Read the story, and I'm sure you'll all understand that Mark is currently riding Daredevil in Eventing

Ref:

STORY
Ryan had never been a fan of jumping. Sure, he could jump - it would have been a crime if, after 400 years, he couldn't - but that didn't mean he had to enjoy it. There was something about the lurching sensation and the idea of being quite high off the ground on top of a potentially unstable animal that really bothered him.

More so now it could kill him.

Gradually it had been getting worse. His fear that the next time a horse freaked out could be the time it would kill him had grown and grown. Everything around him was a threat, a potential lethal accident. He had no safety net any more, no guarantee of survival.

Yet still he stood at the starting line of White Willow Creek's cross country course atop Daredevil, the mare ready and raring to go beneath him. They had gone well so far, with a clear round of jumping and a very satisfactory dressage score. Devi had been on top form lately, other than a show where she had refused enough times to get them disqualified. Ryan was starting to think that maybe, just maybe, he could get over this fear.

As the starting bell sounded, the mare beneath him lunged forwards and they set off at a fast pace. Jump after jump sailed beneath them and Ryan could sense the clear round coming on. She was on form, top of her game, and he was starting to feel confident that he could do this.

It was all going swimmingly until the sixth jump. As he counted the paces the way Mark had taught him, and as he gave the mare her head so she could prepare for the large log in front of them, he could feel that something was off. She leaped into the air too soon, almost unseating him as she tried to clear the log, and her front legs collided with the jump.

Ryan wasn't totally sure how they fell. All he could see was the world spinning and the body of a huge horse surging down towards him, her legs flailing as she panicked. He went to scurry out of the way, but soon the wind was being knocked out of him as she landed clear on top of him, a shocked gasp echoing through the crowd along the course.

Devi thrashed for a moment before she got to her feet, unharmed, but Ryan didn't dare move. His body protector had done a pretty good job, but he felt winded and crushed. Panic started to set in as he tried to turn his head to see where the mare had run off to and felt pain shoot across his chest and shoulder. His breath only got tighter as the paramedics on the course rushed over to him to assess him.

It felt like a good ten minutes of almost hyperventilating, although it was probably a lot less, before a familiar face appeared in his swimming vision, warm fingers wrapping around his wrist as the paramedics carefully assessed him.

"Look at you, holding the whole course up," Mark said with a soft grin.

"I just want off the course," he managed to say, his face deathly pale and his whole body shaking. Mark's grin quickly faded and he cast a glance to the paramedics.

"We'll get him moved," one of them said, "we aren't sure what damage has been done, we have to be careful."

Of all the luck he could have had. They had been doing so well. He had been doing so well. Now he could feel his fear back stronger than ever as he was carefully removed from the course and taken to the ambulance that was on standby. Mark stayed at his side, talking to the paramedics lightheartedly as they went. He was used to this. He didn't seem to go three months without a visit to the paramedics.

Ryan was not used to it. He hated it. He hated mortality.

"They think you've just broken your collarbone," Mark said quietly as they were left alone in the back of the ambulance briefly. "They're taking you to the hospital to be sure, but they think that's it. You'll be fine."

"I will not be fine," Ryan murmured, lacing his fingers easily with Mark's and wincing a little at the pain across his chest.

"Falls happen. Devi's okay, she's back in the trailer. Mike cleared her."

"It's not that," he sighed, closing his eyes and resting his head back against the stretcher. "I could have died."

Mark was quiet for a long moment, thumb stroking across his knuckles, before he finally spoke. "You're scared of dying."

"Terrified."

"Any of us could die at any moment," he said gently.

"Exactly. That's what's so terrifying. And I work with animals that could crush me if they landed on me. I'm lucky I didn't end up like Lee."

He removed his hand from Mark's so he could rub it over his face, letting out a rough sigh that made his ribs ache. Everything was bruised and painful.

"You can't live your life in fear like that," Mark said.

"I don't know how you all do it - go through life every day knowing that at any moment you could be gone. How are you not terrified?"

His fiance shrugged lightly and reached over to brush his hair back with his fingers. "I suppose we just don't think about it. If you live life scared, then you'll never really live."

Ryan looked over at him as his hand rested among his hair, a soft expression on his face that was full of understanding that only Mark seemed to achieve. No one shared Ryan's life experience, but this man somehow managed to get a good grasp of it regardless. He let out a long sigh and lifted his hand to take Mark's again, bringing it to his lips to press a kiss to his knuckles.

"I don't think I can ride a course again any time soon," he said quietly. Mark huffed and leaned down to kiss him softly.

"It's fine," he murmured, "I'll ride her for you. I stopped being scared of death quite some time ago."

"Lucky."