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Mari-Limmy — White Ice -Page 06-
Published: 2010-06-21 02:58:02 +0000 UTC; Views: 2982; Favourites: 31; Downloads: 0
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Description
EDIT: Fixed the grammar.
And for the record: I'm pretty SAD about something like THAT (which takes 5 minutes to do) getting more attention that the art/story (which takes some actual effort). Kinda makes us want to stop doing it. (and I wonder if you go and correct the "engish" from other comics)
Script:
Pencils:
Inks and tones :
--
TRADUCCION
1) Kori: como está, donctor?
Doc: Bueno, no es nada para preocuparse... diria que perdio el conocimiento por fatiga.
2) Doc: En cuanto a las heridas, son solo superficiales... pero tiene muchas cicatrices.
3) Kori: entiendo, gracias doctor!
4) Doc: Espere! aun debe descansar!
5) -nada-
6) Kori: Hey! que haces levantado?! Donde crees que vas?
Shiro: Eh? Quien sos?
Kori: Eso ya te lo dije!
7) Shiro: No grites niño, me refiero a tu nombre.
--
Kori (c) *Mari-Limmy
Shiro (c) ~WhitePhox
Page 05 
Page 07
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Comments: 67
it looks really good so far! I like all of it, it's cool, I feel like I could just go to some book store and find this sitting in there. Um. The only thing is like, the panel with Kori and that one taller dude in it, it seems kinda forced, like you just squeezed Kori in there, he's pretty close. Like, idk, that might just be me, so it's not a big deal, otherwise, very very good! ^-^
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good point and very true, he is pretty close XD;
Truth is: when we were planning this page we got this image of Shiro putting his clothes back on, and I just could not picture that panel other than it being big and almost full body XD i kept thinking "he must look cool!"
it came out just awesome but then had little space for the the other panels so yeah, had to squeeeeeze them a bit XD
still, good to hear it's looking good so far and you like 
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You think so? D; i don't see any problem with it x.x the proportions of Kori are those, it's not that it's squeezed D; Kori is supposed to be short and slim.
Anyway thanks for the comment!
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sorry, yeah. I know he's supposed to be small, I'm just saying it looks like he doesn't fit in there. That's it. And I'm probably wrong anyway, it's great, honestly the whole comic. Keep it up! :3
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Me da curiosidad saber, porque vino a este lugar?, pero habrá que esperar para verlo. Me encanta el diseño (sobre todo el del hiel o era cristal?), muy bien trabajado y la historia, muy cómica e interesante.
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Tranqui, eso se explicara pronto! ;3
(si es hielo XD) y gracias
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No, gracias a vos por el manga, tengo planeado hacer uno, pero primero quiero practicar. Mientras, pienso en una historia.
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a couple minor things:
-i think maybe the hospital bed should have been shaded to look less flat
-and the right tower in the first panel looks... er, i don't want to say "uneven" b/c it isn't.. but i'd say it doesn't look.."clean-cut" if that makes sense?
oh, and i must say--good call on leaving a hole in the robe for the tall guy's tail XD many people forget that tails/ears don't phase through clothes XP
I look forward to the next few pages
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Thanks for the suggestion 
And about the castle i understand what you said XD but if you look the first page, the (let's call it "halo") on the top of the towers are not exactly the same to the others, they had some weird form, but i should change it because it would be hard to follow that kind of desing
Thanks for the comment!
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looks someone is impatient! XD
Anyway, i have the software now (last version) But tell me, do you know any tutorial to use it?
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Hey! <: me and whitephox learned from a spanish tutorial. But hopefully there are good and clear tutorials here
[link]
[link] (select the version you have and it will send you to the tutorials ^^ )
i hope it helps
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Wow a lot!
Thanks! ^^
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there must be lots around the internet.... but mostly it's touching and seeing what each tool does :c can't help much there cause all i learned was through ~WhitePhox
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hielouuu
los detalles del hielo con el relleno ese de manga, todo el primer panel looks pro xP
y shiro, que paso xD? despues del desmayo, ya se olvido de todo o_o....estara sufriendo la shadownesia? ?
kori le dira su nombre... otra vez?
ese doctor es en realidad el doctor chapatin?
dejare de comentar sin sentido ?
todo eso lo veremos en el sgte capitulo
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Por ahi como ya se sentia mal no le presto atencion? :0
quien es el doctor chapatin? XD
y sii tus comments le dan el toque de color TvT (como dije me saca el mal humor d los otros yay) me alegre q t guste hasta ahora
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el chapatin es uno de chespirito (gloogleplz)
y bue de nada :3
...
(ayyy como me requete-encanta esa cara xD)
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como que "se olvidó de todo" ?? no entendí bien 
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xD ya lo sé, lo decia en plan de joda a mari
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ay mi vidaaa, no sos lentaaa, yo tmbn me hubiera confundido, nu pasa nada :3 me dan ganas de comertee caramelituu >u<
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Bien! ahora está corregido 8D esperemos que esté todo bien ahora,
Sé que nos lleva mucho esfuerzo y querríamos escuchar que opinan de el arte y la historia en si 
Yo tmbn me siento orgulloso de como quedó, no estaría mal escuchar de la gente que les parece como es el arte y como va transcurriendo la historia
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Seh a mi tmb me FASCINO como quedo esta pag *_*
pero la verdad que tanto focus en la gramatica me puso de mal humor.
Yo sinceramente, no quiero desactivar los comments, me parece que asi tmpoco nos ayuda... pero los comments q no digan nada util los voy a empezar a ignorar >_>
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viene bastante bien eeeh, sory me comí un par de errores en ingles, últimamente ando medio para atras con muchas cosas (tengo que rendir mis últimos finales para la uni ) cuando vaya a la casa de ~WhitePhox voy a tratar de hacerlo lo mejor posible, y de no pifiar tampoco con algunos inks
Ya ví el enemigo y está copadisimo!
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uhh mucha suerte con eso!
pero x eso, yo no tengo problema en hacer la version en ingles! de hecho me encantaria XD;; me divierte el ingles!(aunque eso suene medio nerd)
y asi los ayudo con algo mas! *v*
jaja y gracias XD creo q fue idea de Aiky hacerlo bien loquito, pero yesss los personajes maniaticos tienen lo suyo! *v*
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I think all i saw were a couple minor translation mistakes, but someone already commented those to you i see 
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lol yeah that part's covered XD ('ll see if we can fix that later
yayy glad you're liking it so far ru-chan <3 and gosh, even i love these backgrounds *v* (i wouldn't be able to put something like this together if i was doing it alone ;w; )
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Doesn't howlzapper do the backgrounds? you mention it on every page i think, but i suddenly forgotten D'X ohh!
I wouldn't be able either, the characters alone would take all my effort to do XD
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I drew the castle on the first panel (taking the one he did on the fist page as reference) but that's just a doodle, then he and aiky give it live when they ink and tone it *v*
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oooh ok
XD I really think i could go on about how amazing this & you guys are!!! haha
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nyaaa thank you so much ru-chan
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hah i noticed too
but thanks alot and i'm glad you liked it! it's hard to translate this to spanish... the words are so different
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DX ack! gee, that sucks 
But, you are doing really good with the translating! theres only been a couple minor grammar mistakes,
but nothing to serious that it completely changed the meaning of what you were trying to have the characters say.
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it is actually
i'm glad you understood this despite our ugly translation
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yes, I just read her update, very nice! :3 I'm very sad to have read her comment below though, Were people being too harsh with the language translation? :'<
I'm sorry if youre not getting nice feedback, but ignore all the people who are putting this project down (if some are..)
;__; I want you guys to continue this!! It seems youre having fun with this.
I'll be the azure cheerleader >:3 " ~WHOO go Aiky! Mari! Steel! XDD"
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Thank you so much for the comment 
and i gotta say, just when this page was my favourite, i mean, i like how it came out (compaired the way i finished the other pages) and yeah seems people didn't care much about it
but anyway! two pages left for the first chapter! and we're going to see the climax of the story!
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hey, it's no prob, but really happy news to me ;U;! & love ya too!
thats pretty unfortunate, some of these deviants just dont know what they are missing then!! *o*
omygoodness!! yayy! x) could you tell me how many chapters this will be? is it a short project?
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i think it would be just 2 chapters.. or maybe 3, i wanted to make this a short one, but we got very excited with it!
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in the first panel where it says "how is him" it would need to be "how is he?"
, next is "I understand it doctor" I think the past form "I understood doctor" would be better... and "hey what are you doing standing there" should be "what are you doing? Why did you stand up and where do you think you're going?" because the orginal sentence sounds a bit weird ^^"
Exept from that it's good, great comic x3
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yes, i noticed it D; it was my mistake, i lost my english knowledge 
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True!didn't notice that first one (I even think i read "he" when i checked it XDD; wtf) as for the second, yeah... maybe "I get it" or just "understood" (no wait that one would sounds like he was given an order XD)
and yeah the last one does sound weird maybe "why did you get up?" ... mhh i'll see into that! XD
Thanks for the corrections!
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"EDIT: Fixed the grammar.
And for the record: I'm pretty SAD about something like THAT (which takes 5 minutes to do) getting more attention that the art/story (which takes some actual effort). Kinda makes us want to stop doing it. (and I wonder if you go and correct the "engish" from other comics"
Did more people than me point that out, or is it pointing towards me? I didn't want to sound rude... and I like the story and the art aswell =/
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no no it's not towards anyone XD; just that the comments we got right after we asked for feedback, well.. they all seemed to care more about the grammar than the art
but no, your comment was good <3
we just got others on other pages that also seemed to care about that more... but whatever, guess we'll just have to learn to take and leave which comments really HELP
but don't worry, your comment was cool and not at all rude <3
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ok I just thought maybe you meant me a bit because I was the first one to point it out on that page ^^"
ah I see, well it's a shame that people pay more attention to some translation instead of the hard made art...
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yeah, and we really liked how this one had came out so that's why we got kinda upset XD;;
but again, your comment was perfect <3 sorry if it sounded like we were pointing you or something D:
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