HOME | DD
mcptato — [269] Shadow Of Doubt
Published: 2017-05-31 20:32:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 13508; Favourites: 1321; Downloads: 0
Redirect to original
Description
Twitter | Instagram | Facebook | Tumblr
----------------------------
--- She may be glowing but it only makes the shadow darker.
I've been really doubting myself just as a person as of late. No particular reason, although I did get a letter from one of the colleges basically saying I wasn't accepted maybe that was the catalyst. (there's plenty more colleges I have yet to hear from so it's not that bad) I just sometimes feel like even though I try really hard, don't stop and have so much to show people but sometimes it still doesn't ever feel like enough and I start really doubting myself. And it got me thinking the other day, one negative comment can really make me feel sad whereas nice comments (though I really do appreciate them) don't have the same impact. Like why is it that even with hundreds of amazing, genuine and nice comments one can make me start doubting myself?? I took math, I know it doesn't add up but still. I feel like that happens to a lot of people, where one negative comment can hold the same weight of thousands of kind ones.
I also kinda feel a bit burnt out but I usually do for this doodle project like every other week so that's not new, just why I posted a bit late today haha.
Anyways thanks for reading, just rambling some thoughts I had. I haven't really been talkative in my descriptions lately have I?
---------------------
Related content
Comments: 19
This is a beautiful image but just saying that doesn't do justice to it. I can really really relate to it and to what you have said because I've thought those very same things a lot! Especially the mismatch between our attitudes towards happy events as compared to sad ones. I don't think I can help you out very much because I haven't found a solution to that yet, but you should know that your art is wonderful and expressive and it's possible to connect to soo many people through it. So it's always going to be there to light up your sad days and brighten all the good ones even more. Thanks for sharing this piece of work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Same--but you're not alone with it--even people who leave such comments. I've been dealing with it too--with trying to find a job. But in between those struggles are something greater to look forward to^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Everyone struggles with self-doubt. Insecurities are one of the many flaws that make us human. Accepting ourselves as we are and pushing aside all the negativity that seeps in is one of the most difficult hurdles in our way. Keep moving forward. You are a unique and valuable person who is very much appreciated. Thank you for sharing your beautiful art.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I think it may be because we automatically associate negativity with honesty whereas the same isn't always true with positivity. There's this idea of 'the hard truth' or 'the ugly truth' and so when people say nice things it can all get glossed over into 'being nice' whereas we kind of assume someone doesn't want to be mean just for the sake of being mean so if they say something mean it must be true and they're the only one honest enough to say it.
That's not true though. People are just as likely to say mean things out of insecurity as out of honesty, and of course people are just as likely to say nice things out of true admiration as out of being nice for the sake of it. I'm not sure if that's one of the problems you're feeling, but I've thought about it a lot in regards to my own appearance and work and it occurred to me that I believed every negative thing anyone said about me when sometimes they weren't even true. So there's that to think about, don't know if it's relevant or might help, but as for your art I love the level of meaning in all of your work. You're one of the artists that always grabs my attention whenever I see your work, even not knowing that it's by the same person. Your art is striking and thought-provoking.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Math may be the language of the universe, but emotions are a language of their own that doesn't care about it.
The saying goes about poisonous words, and that's just how it works: a living body feeds on what it needs so it can works fine for years, yet a single drop of the wrong stuff throws all balance out the window. The same goes for the mind...
Or simply look at trust, for self-doubt is just mistrust in your own worth. It may take years for an animal to trust you. And when you get it to, hurt it just once and it's all over. That's self-preservation, making all the nice things irrelevant if there's a single danger.
We may think reason frees us from instinct but really, who are we kidding? Self-preservation (thankfully) rules our lives. Even in the realm of emotions, which has become way too complicated for this basic automated shield to do its job right.
And as with poison, we should be more careful what we feed our minds. But it's harder not to let the wrong stuff get in though, so it comes to finding the antidote. Nice comments are good food to live on every day, but there's more than that to an antidote. So the question may be, what will kill poisonous words for you?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I know the following advice sounds a lot easier than it is. But it does help.
Focus more on what you think about yourself on your own. Regardless of what others say. Evaluate yourself neither on bad comments / rejections, NOR on positive feedback. Try to blend it out. Too loose the influence of them of your inner thoughts step by step.
The goal is that your self evaluation and the feedback from outside come to a balance. But in the beginning, your aim should be to go for being indenpendent from the outer feedback. (helps making faster progress)
It took me years to get more secure. And even though it got significantly better, I'm still not at a perfect equilibrium. It is a slow process. But it's definitly worth the effort.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Very well done! I like your whole concept of feeling burned out or doubting yourself. Great work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Excellent contrast. The glow really pops! Good luck with your college troubles. I salute you!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I love your work as always, and i especially like this piece because the feelings it was inspired by are so easy to sympathise with. You'll pull through with a couple colleges I'm sure. Good luck and just hold on.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
WOW!! That actually depicet the way I feel ritgh now...
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I have that feeling every so often, Its always just one little thing that sets it off too. Over the years I usually dedicate those times to trying something new somewhere in my life, or making changes to something I already do. Usually I take it as my low self-esteem getting the best of me and use that to kinda push myself through it after I stop for a moment, take some time to examine things objectively and rest. Can't say it'll fix it, but that's what it does for me anyway.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0