Comments: 90
Meandor117 In reply to ??? [2012-02-21 18:57:36 +0000 UTC]
Oh I'm glad, I found it on a webpage and when I heard it was stolen I REALLY stressed XD Thanks for letting me use it :3
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luvserenity000 [2012-02-20 08:30:26 +0000 UTC]
wow its really nice
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Miko-Teh-Purple-Neko [2012-02-20 05:55:41 +0000 UTC]
ha ha i can totally relate cause me and my boy just broke up like a week ago. only bad part is we live in the same place. lol.
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Alswyn [2012-02-20 05:33:56 +0000 UTC]
Am I the only one who doesn't think this is an award worthy piece of literature?
Not that it's terrible. There are a couple of parts that do possess the certain spark. But on the whole it just seems like another run of the mill heartbreak poem.
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Dinahshadows [2012-02-20 01:33:53 +0000 UTC]
no words can explain what it speaks
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GioMetric99 [2012-02-19 16:29:03 +0000 UTC]
T ^ T its...SOOO...beautiful
poetry and art
best combination ever
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zomgxx2345 [2012-02-19 16:28:18 +0000 UTC]
HEADBANG.
I really love this. It's tooo true. Everything that everyone experiences.
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U-Rax [2012-02-19 16:23:50 +0000 UTC]
beautiful words are always found in broken hearts ... loved it
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VovinaArt [2012-02-19 13:25:15 +0000 UTC]
D'awwww... what a cute little onryΕ.
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areaClosed [2012-02-19 12:11:10 +0000 UTC]
very interesting and intriguing
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DanDrazen [2012-02-19 11:59:49 +0000 UTC]
As a widower, I can relate. And congratulate the artist.
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mentalmirror [2012-02-19 10:42:33 +0000 UTC]
this is "OK" but I think it was blatantly inspired by this piece. [link] is this copying or just maturity?
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iSazzify In reply to mentalmirror [2012-02-19 14:27:32 +0000 UTC]
How are they linked in any way at all...?
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samarasketch [2012-02-19 10:36:33 +0000 UTC]
That was a beautiful piece. At first, you gave me the impression that you killed someone or something like that, but towards the end, I feel this warm feeling inside because you weren't really haunted by anyone. Instead, they were just your thoughts as you remembered every single part of her. In my eyes, those words were really beautiful.
I'm glad you have learned to handle those thoughts and flashbacks. It's great that you were so devoted to her, but sometimes, love is all about devotion going both ways instead of just one. I hope you'll be able to find someone who'll give you as much devotion as you give her, or even more.
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Nghts1lk3r [2012-02-19 10:25:23 +0000 UTC]
Very well done. Just a couple of things.
You might want to use a little more punctuation, since it helps keep the flow natural, and you might want to remove the 3rd line of the 1st stanza. I realize you're emphasizing your point, but it seems pointlessly repetitive when you pair it with the last line of the stanza.
You might want to add an "a" to the third line of the second stanza. As it is, the line almost seems like a rushed thought, which kind of seems out of place in this kind of poem.
Try adding periods to the ends of each of the lines in the third stanza. It would give each line more weight, almost make them seem like they're more important than you have them now.
Again, punctuation. It exists. Try it out. Also, try using spell-check. Trust me, it'll give it that final bit of polish.
Try breaking up the last stanza into two one line stanzas, instead of having one two line stanza. It'll give that last line that last bit of oomph.
Just a few observations. Sorry if I went a little overboard, or I was way more sarcastic than I should be, but it's almost 2:30 AM, I'm tired, and I really want a cup of coffee.
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Nghts1lk3r In reply to Meandor117 [2012-02-19 18:35:38 +0000 UTC]
Okay. I hope it helps.
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WOLFofArt [2012-02-19 10:22:53 +0000 UTC]
I believe the poem has a nic of true art in it. The way u express ur emotions into words is superb. Bravo
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roz--chan [2012-02-19 09:38:02 +0000 UTC]
Interesting
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AanZku [2012-02-19 08:41:56 +0000 UTC]
Beautiful words! *u*
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VertigineuxVegetable [2012-02-19 07:58:42 +0000 UTC]
This has very little rhythm, and lacks cohesion. Typical post-break up moaning. Nothing wrong with it, but not worth sharing with others.
And using preview images that you don't create yourself is a pet peeve of mine.
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NumRawrz [2012-02-19 07:24:26 +0000 UTC]
Sometime you can't let go of things, but only forget them for a few minutes. I guess people feel that lonely feeling too after.
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lusterlessgem [2012-02-19 06:14:31 +0000 UTC]
I understand how that feels. Good luck putting it behind you. May things turn out better for you.
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Viesekaty-kat [2012-02-19 04:17:24 +0000 UTC]
beautifully put and illustrated poem.
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trixieannperez [2012-02-19 03:56:02 +0000 UTC]
Flagged as Spam
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lordchaoz [2012-02-19 03:44:39 +0000 UTC]
ooooo weeeee ooooo, ooooooo weeeeee oooooo
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Debra-Marie [2012-02-19 03:31:40 +0000 UTC]
great job. I love the feel of this
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Passin [2012-02-19 02:42:38 +0000 UTC]
Very nicely done
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billndrsn [2012-02-19 02:34:42 +0000 UTC]
superb!!
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Xhydralisk [2012-02-19 02:09:32 +0000 UTC]
What was the artist?
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