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Mechahound In reply to WolfShout [2012-08-16 17:52:07 +0000 UTC]

Aw if ya want you can vent to me through notes I am here to listen

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WolfShout In reply to Mechahound [2012-08-17 07:23:35 +0000 UTC]

Well, not to totally take you up on your offer... but..
Yes, I'm feeling really alone, because my mom is so caught up in all the stuff that's going on with her, she really has no time to be my mom, so I'm alone all the time and when she is here I am doing chores and such for her. She hasn't even started the chemo yet (which will make her weak and tired), and every time I say "hey, if your going to the kitchen can you get me insert edible noun here__" or something like that, she comes back with "can't you get it yourself and help out your poor cancer-ridden dying mother?" and then she rattles off 20 other things she wanted me to do.
Not that I am complaining about chores, but if that's what it's like now.... then what about when she really cant to anything? and it's not like I have a dad around here that can take me places when my mom can't. This really means that we won't be able to do anything for the next 6 months.
She's really stressed out too, so she gets really pissed and just screams (like real screaming. not loud talking.) at me all time over NOTHING. I truly mean NOTHING. And I have issues with dealing with people screaming at me and dealing with my own anger because of living with my grandparents. I kind of freak out and have a panic attack and I can't breath and I feel like running out and killing someone. No joke. I almost killed my puppy.

P.s. as I was writing this, a bug was crawling around in my screen. not on. IN. so.... sorry if I got a little off topic. Damn bug won't crawl out of my screen.

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Mechahound In reply to WolfShout [2012-08-17 19:34:43 +0000 UTC]

I see, hmm you have a cell if ya want you can text me or something (and no Im not a pedo creeper I will list my celly number for you via a note) and you can contact me when or if you want. I don't sleep much so don't worry about the time. And as for your mother, I know it's hard and stressful to deal with a chaotic environment, but try to be sympathetic too, she lashes out at you, not because she is upset at you, but because she is human and is stressed. As for the food and the dying mother thing, I highly suggest ignoring it. My mother often says things like "You don't love me", "You don't show sympathy for humans like a normal person" etc etc, its said as a guilt trip and nothing more. They don't mean the things they say. Sometimes it is hard to view parents for who they are, and that is as flawed individuals. When the chores are concerned, I do suggest just doing them, it is a pain in the ass trust me I know, but it will get them off your back and the physical exertion is a known stress reliever. Also when you feel the anger and murderous stress, hun the best thing I can suggest to avoid any violent outbreaks or saying something you regret is just to work out. Its what I do. When upset and stressed I run my ass off on my treadmill (I have giant calves to prove it lol) in any case being able to just focus solely on what your body is doing, feel the burn of your muscles and such it helps loads! It makes you feel better and no matter all the screaming I promise if you just work out and get a little exercise it helps calm you down, and get a better handle of the problem and situation. Not to mention it releases chemicals in the brain which helps a LOT!!!!!!!!!! It also helps to draw or just talk to a trusted friend about things to take the edge off. ^^

I know it is hard and frustrating, lord trust me I know. But I am here to help whenever you need and I will do my best to help you out, and tell you what I do personally to get through tough situations. Jasper and I are sending out our best thoughts for you.

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