Comments: 37
Aryandiani-Maecy [2016-01-07 02:33:56 +0000 UTC]
Awesome! My clap emoji agrees!
<----- Agreeing
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Jormel [2011-02-05 09:24:54 +0000 UTC]
It's very well written, and I enjoyed it. This is completely different from any fic I've read concerning Dark Link and Link. The ambiguous ending is practically unheard of today. Ignoring the refs to Malon, this could take place during literally any time period in which the Hero arises, making this never ending battle and the more real. Link being portrayed as just getting used to his power was believable, and Dark just wanting to be free made him a sympathetic anti-hero. You could understand why they were fighting, which is really an essential part to any story. To finish things off, I really love your writing style. I would be willing to read more of your stuff, especially if you ever write more along these lines. Thanks for the refreshingly good read. ^_^
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Ailysha [2010-07-12 00:11:28 +0000 UTC]
I absolutely LOVE this! But... I hope Link not really dies *Get´s nightmares from this thinking^^* I found it super how you discribet everything, just the thing with Malon I didn´t understood, I think... But how I just said, well done!
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NightmaresCalling [2010-03-31 19:58:13 +0000 UTC]
I love it man! Keep up the work
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Sapphire-Rogue [2009-11-23 19:11:31 +0000 UTC]
So, first off, I would like to begin with saying that this was a wonderful concept. You honestly made Link all the more human in this than he usually is demonstrated as being. Generally in most fics, he almost always triumphs without even the slightest difficulty. Conveying Link with a distinct lack of experience by comparison to his predecessors makes perfect sense (all things considered, I mean - this was written based in the Ocarina of Time era, correct? I apologize if I am incorrect - I merely am assuming based on the fact Malon was referenced). Dark had just the right measure of sadism, and I like the fact that the Master Sword did not ‘burn’ his hand when he touched it. I have read fics that had that happen. Dark is not necessarily ‘evil’. He has been made by what his Masters have made him do. He only seeks to break free of the cycle he is in. He’s really in an awful situation, and the little lapses of bitter irony and almost self-loathing were good.
The title was also really good, I have to say. The title itself seems to lend itself to two possibilities for the end of your fic, seeing as you were rather ambiguous about it. Either A), Dark killed Link, thus setting himself free and effectively ‘breaking the chain of events’ that he was tied to via constantly having to try and kill the hero, only to fail. Or B), Dark did not kill Link, but rather left, still managing to ‘break the chain of events’ by neither killing Link nor dying himself. I think that this fic has the real potential for continuing, if you so wish to do so.
The fic is nicely written. However, there were a few grammatical and punctuation errors, as well as some of the paragraphs needing to be split (to only reflect one main idea). Such as (keep in mind you do not have to take this seriously - this is merely a suggestion) :
“Link had, up to that point, been getting his breath back and thinking furiously of a way to get on top of the situation. He couldn’t help but grimace. He’d been having a hard time with a sword in hand much less now that he was disarmed. He glanced briefly at his foe’s sword imbedded in the rock, but felt that it was too far away for him to get to it before he was cut down. Then, watching the man take his sword in a two handed grip, Link felt he was out of time. He felt it true in every term of the phrase.
The sword of heroes came slashing down at Link and he put his shield up to block it. The Master sword cut into the edge of the shield and Link felt his arm jolt from the impact. Impossibly, the sword kept going, pushing the shield down, tip of the blade slicing into his face, cutting him from forehead to cheek at an angle. Link fell back as the sword withdrew and the man laughed while Link put a hand to the cut. He briefly looked at the blood in his hand. He then looked at the dread figure before him as his blood seeped down his face into his eye.”
You have a very good writing style, and it is very appealing to read. The only thing I can say is to perhaps find someone who is willing to beta read your work so as to fix the little errors. All and all, I will say that I liked this very much, and I think I will be keeping an eye out for more of your works. Wonderful job with this.
~Sapphire-Rogue
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MichaelScanlon In reply to Sapphire-Rogue [2009-11-23 22:15:06 +0000 UTC]
Firstly, thank you for such a detailed and flattering reply to my fic. I appreciate the criticism and your advice.
Now then, as to your suggestions, I do completely agree with them. However, I have since decided (even after having re-read through it several times) to leave it as it is. That way I can look back on this piece, look at its mistakes so that I know in future works how glaring they are and how to avoid them. But again, thank you for words on it.
As to the story itself... I didn't really put it in the OoT-verse (although it heavily influenced me, obviously) and I actually had intended on writing further into the story. However, as I reread it again and again I realized that I rather liked the 'well, what now?' ending and decided to keep it that way. At least for now. Your comment has gotten me wanting to write more along this line, even though there are other works that I REALLY should be getting to.
As to the title itself... well, it actually took me quite sometime, even after I posted it here to come up with it. I came up with it with Link's name in mind and I thought I was being fairly ironic with it myself. Your conclusions about it are interesting as well, as I had considered those such thoughts when trying to come up with a title. As to to the end... I'll let you decide on how you'd rather it end. That's one of the reasons I left it open in that manner; I wanted the reader to give the ending to it that they wanted. That and to frustrate my cousin.
Anycase, I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'll be taking a swing around your gallery before too long. Thanks again.
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Sapphire-Rogue In reply to MichaelScanlon [2009-11-23 23:58:58 +0000 UTC]
I can see the logic behind merely keeping it as is. That is nice, in a way, to be able to look at works from the past to improve upon what is later written. That is really very mature of you, actually. For me, I would never be able to. If I look back upon a work that I feel have even the slightest error, I will ultimately delete it (hence why so many of my works are no longer in existence). Which really does me no good, all things considered. I then no longer have the ability to look upon what I have done versus what I am doing now so as to avoid repeating errors. I applaud you on that, most definitely.
Ambiguous endings certainly lend themselves well to works, I must say. Especially this one. Even if you decided not to continue on with it, it is a nice stand alone piece that can be read and appreciated in its raw form. *chuckles* Yes, well, that does seem to be the way when the Muse descends, is it not? Interests typically pertain to that which we should not be doing rather than what we should be doing (either dictated so by ourselves or others).
The title itself is quite ironic, I must agree - and I think that it honestly was the perfect name for this work, I dare say. My interpretation of the ending can really go either way. I have no strict preference. There are some that are steadfastly against the idea of the hero dying and darkness triumphing, or something along those lines. I have no such qualms about the thought of Link, as inexperienced as he was portrayed, failing in beating his shadow. Conversely, I can accept Dark as leaving without killing just as easily because I do not think he is necessarily ‘evil’. I really just take it either way - or any other interpretation of what happened, come to think of it. Ha, so the ending was intended to appeal to the masses, yet merely aggravate your cousin?
Er, really, I wish to spare you the mental anguish. None of my works are especially good, let us say (travesty, really, is the only way to describe them all). I do appreciate that you would be willing to, but honestly - it really would not be worth your time, I assure you.
And you are most welcome.
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MichaelScanlon In reply to Sapphire-Rogue [2009-11-24 00:46:14 +0000 UTC]
I have to say a couple things in regards to your last comment. Humility is a useful trait, one that, in the right circumstances, could help you through life. However, I really don't see any reason for you to give me a... low opinion of your talents before I even have the chance to judge them for myself.
Certainly, it can help take a bit of sting away by putting your writings down before anyone else can do so, but... is it really worth it? I mean, taking the fire from someone else can be a useful tactic, but only if you plan on using it to make yourself look good by shining its light on those traits you DO like. So sure, you can be humble and portray humility, just don't humiliate yourself, ya know?
Anycase, one of the reasons I keep a lot of my old stuff is just so that I can learn from it. Which is part of the reason I keep reading crappy books all the way to the end. I use it as a sort of 'do-not-ever-write-like-this' sort of guideline. I stress the same thing with my cousin; even if you're not satisfied with how a drawing came out, do not throw it away. Keep it so that you can look to avoid those future mistakes. Plus, it's nice to look back on where you started so that you can further bolster your knowledge of just have far you've come. I can't help but mentally face palm myself every time I think of all the notes, sketches and other unfinished works that I've either lost or gotten rid of along the way. So please, don't make the same mistake.
Now then, as to the fic itself. What had inspired me to write it was that I was very tired of how the Dark character was portrayed in pretty much every fan comic of fan-fic. To be truthful, I was tired of yaoi. But brotherly love aside, I also had qualms that Dark Link was given a personality at all, but then to read some of the other crap people put out...
I wanted to accomplish four things with this fic; to give Dark a decent personality, that while a bit morbid would not fall into the emo side, to give Dark an honest reason to want to serve an uncaring master and to pursue a man he was both mirrored to and created to kill. The last two goals were to give Dark some sort of history that could connect even a tiny bit to the other LoZ's and to have the tar beaten out of Link, but in believable fashion.
So, that's how the Muse hit me. It's laughable how easy it is to work with a universe with its own canon than to create your own.
I wrote the ending the way I did because I wasn't sure whether or not I was gonna get the creative drive to write more on it and if I did, I wanted to have readers left on the edge of their seats, ready for more. I've learned that from some of my favorite authors... The fact that the ending made my cousin go "Aw man, come on! How ya gonna leave it like that?!" was an added bonus.
Mental anguish aside, I still plan on reading your stuff and look forward to writing unusually long for DA comments to you again.
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Sapphire-Rogue In reply to MichaelScanlon [2009-11-24 07:20:14 +0000 UTC]
You are quite right, I must say - I should not have offered by own hyper critical view of my works before you, yourself, had a chance to look at them. I am quite sorry. I do understand what it is that you are saying. I suppose it is just sort of a habit of mine to not give my works the credit they may or may not deserve and to automatically try to avoid obtaining another’s opinion on them because I feel it will reflect what I already know to be true (or think to be true, at least). It really is a convoluted little cycle.
What we have done before does serve as a useful tool in learning. I try to avoid crappy books, usually, though. And even if I have read a travesty, I don’t usually read it again even if it would serve as a guideline for what never to write like. Usually I can recall the style of the writer enough so that I remember, ‘Oh, well, let’s not do that, then’. Typically I reread books that I like so that I’m reminded of what can appeal to people. Of what appealed to me, really. Then I wonder why that is - and if others liked the book for that very same reason. So, though I’m never necessarily looking back upon my mistakes, I tend to look to what I wish I could be, as far as a writer goes.
I do agree that looking back on the past (I do retain some of my works and went back and reread them about a few months ago - oh what entertainment that was) is good. I suppose I should do that more often... And avoid deleting what I’ve done, of course. There are many stories I lost that I wish I could look at again because I had deleted them in a moment of misjudgment. I’ll try to avoid making that error so much in the future.
Ah, yes - the whole yaoi aspect of Dark Link... Now, let me begin by saying that yaoi in and of itself does not bother me all that much. Would I ever write/draw something for it? No. I’m not comfortable with conveying relationships in general. They always feel awkward for me when I write them. Even more so because I don’t endorse the idea of Dark Link and Link himself together. I will accept it if an artist/writer does something with it - but it’s not something that I, personally, would do. It just seems off to me. Like it honestly does not make an iota of sense for them to have a relationship like that unless there is severely tweaked circumstances that brought them together.
As for personality, I must agree. Dark was generally given the same personality every time I read something involving him.
You most certainly did accomplish all four of those things. His personality suited him well, and made perfect sense. His reason behind his actions were justifiable. Both his history and the fact that you created a believable scenario in which Dark Link could beat Link were pulled off flawlessly as well.
Isn’t it? I find it so much easier to use characters not created by me than ones I’ve created. Fanfiction is wonderful in that aspect.
Hm... A perfectly logical reason, I dare say. You did happen to leave your readers on the edge of their seats - me being one of them. Your conveying of how dire the situation was for Link was spot on. *chuckles* Bonuses like that are always nice, no?
Very well. And I, in turn, look forward to replying to said unusually long comments.
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artist-00 [2009-09-15 23:53:06 +0000 UTC]
So the Hero finally dies and by his own shadow thats really scary being killed by youre own very well being *shutters*
wow this was great though even if link dies
does he or is there another chapter
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MichaelScanlon In reply to artist-00 [2009-09-17 03:12:50 +0000 UTC]
That's a really good question. I've actually been thinking about whether or not I was going to continue this fic. I don't know, we'll see, right?
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CrimsonNightshade [2009-08-10 01:16:07 +0000 UTC]
Absolutely a fantastic story. You made Link seem far more human than in most stories I read about him. It's so rare to come upon a wonderfully written and well thought out fanfiction like this!
Really a great job, and an instant fav~ |D
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MichaelScanlon In reply to Feudalalchemist [2009-08-05 21:44:46 +0000 UTC]
First of all, Awesome freakin' comment! Thanks alot and lettin' me know exactly what you thought of it. And don't mind me, if ever you come across somethin' o' mine by all means, ramble. I only hope I do as well on future projects. Thanks again!
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Jadin-Sedai [2009-08-03 18:48:55 +0000 UTC]
Wow... I love your writing style
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Rouxbea [2009-08-03 02:47:21 +0000 UTC]
wow, that was amazing. I love your writing style and such detail you wrote in. Man, I just loved it =]
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sc-lcremeans [2009-08-03 00:24:34 +0000 UTC]
So, I did enjoy it. even though i'm not a "Zelda" fan or "Link" fan. *clear throat*. I find that in some areas it didn't sound like you and others it did. I am impressed though that you have gone outside of your "realm" as it were about writing styles and themes. Also I am sorry but you did do this to yourself you are going to get tons of fan girls saying "like omg...i can't believe you'd kill of link he would so like not die in that situation omg!?" *BANG* , but still good job you should post little fan fictions of your characters that way I could care more...sorry. maybe. LOVE YOU!
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MichaelScanlon In reply to sc-lcremeans [2009-08-03 00:27:03 +0000 UTC]
I uh... love you too? Well, I guess that's the risk I run.
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Spades-Kings [2009-08-02 21:57:29 +0000 UTC]
Pretty neat. The only thing I have qualms with is purely punctuation. Paragraph spacing and such.
Dark Link really does like his toys, doesn't he? X} Manipulative shadow.
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MichaelScanlon In reply to Spades-Kings [2009-08-02 23:40:58 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, I was having troubles getting deviantart to do the things I wanted it to do and I didn't want to go through all the trouble of putting in all that code. But thanks!
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Seillinia [2009-08-02 16:32:32 +0000 UTC]
that....was.... INCREDIBLE! it was so awesome! great job! ^^
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MichaelScanlon In reply to Seillinia [2009-08-02 20:19:29 +0000 UTC]
Thank you I appreciate the encouragement. Anything you liked about it in particular?
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Seillinia In reply to MichaelScanlon [2009-08-03 02:30:36 +0000 UTC]
i enjoyed the eye for detail and especially how you explained link not speaking much. ^^
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StateKunoichi [2009-08-02 06:43:43 +0000 UTC]
Man, that was so cool. One of the best fics I've ever read (but so sad that Link dies....)
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