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Miguel-the-perv-king β Anti-ZeLink Contest Entry
Published: 2009-07-21 14:42:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 6337; Favourites: 58; Downloads: 18
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Description
Scene: That weird bit at the end of Ocarina of Time where Link and Zelda are standing in the clouds for some reasonSaywha?
When did I agree to be your lover?
Exactly how is it that we're meant to be together?
Okay, so we've got maybe two things in common, but where's the chemistry between us?
Yeah, how do our personalities fit together to suit romance?
Okay, then how's about you tell me how long you've known that we're supposedly meant to be?
Okay, if you've always loved me, then how come we've never had so much as a friendly conversation before?
We spoke face to face maybe three times during that whole adventure,
Yeah, but I'm starting to doubt you could be the same person as someone as awesome as him.
Well, on the way out of Ganny's fortress, you'd freak out if so much as a bit of dust fell on me, and then during the final battle with him, you just stood there next to the Master Sword doing nothing. Did it never occur to you that you could have thrown it to me?
Whatever. In any case, we've spoken three times as Link and Zelda, and you never once even greeted me informally. All we talked about was how to stop Ganondorf.
Uh-huh. And that's why our conversations can be summed up as "Oh Link, go get the other two Spiritual Stones so we can get the Triforce before Ganondorf" and "Here Link, use these Light Arrows to stop Ganondorf." and "Oh, Link, I was a ditzy-witzy! Sorry about that! Tee-hee!"
Speaking of the tabloids, have you noticed how similar we look? Same facial structure, same hair color, eyes almost the same shade of blue...
Well, I was left in the care of the Kokiri by my dying mother, and noone in Hyrule ever talks about the late Queen... I'm not ruling out the possibility that we might be twins.
Yes.
Tell me about it...
No problem. *Hands her the Ocarina*
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Comments: 123
As a ZeLink shipper (Spirit Tracks turned me into this), I'm not offended (but there's an anti-zelink group, really? Why? I can understand the existence of a community reunited by a passion, exchanging arts, texts and points of view, but...a community reunited by the hatred of something, and dedicated to try to prove that those who like it are wrong? Sorry, I find this is just mean, stupid and immature).
Yes, I see you wrote this in 2009, but:
Actually, I don't agree with one argument:
Links are not related, they're reincarnations, except maybe TP!Link who can beΒ OoT!Link's descendant (after he came back from Termina and married someone who's not Zelda...who? Malon maybe?). So, except for this one, it's Ok Link and Zelda have children, since the next Link won't be related to them. Actually, we're not even sure his name would be Link (that's why you can choose his name...and why this is Legend of Zelda, not Legend of [enter your name here]). So, a Zelda can have a Link in her lineage, and date another. No consanguinity here.
By the way, I don't ship them in every game. Indeed, dating someone you barely know just because he saves you is awkward (and those people who think Zelda owes Link sex because of that, that's just sexist!)
What bothers me a lot in OoT is that Link's spirit has been sealed for seven years...that means while he has the body of an adult, he's still a child in his head. Ruto, Malon, ect. are not aware of that, so I would understand they try to flirt with him (he probably just won't notice). But Zelda knows. If she had wanted a romantic relationship with him...well...eek! Fortunately she didn't and send him back in time.
In the NES games, there's also two Zeldas for one Link. That's weird too. And he kisses the one who never saw him.
I ship them in those games:
-Wind Waker (and Phantom Hourglass since they're the same incarnations)
-Spirit Tracks (wich is, among others things, an extended ZeLink fanservice moment)
-Skyward Sword (okay, they can't end together, it's a sad love story)
-ALttP/OoA/OoS (three games, is that enough? And then comes Link's Awakening and he's lost in the sea forever, another sad ending)
-Minish Cap (when they grow up, obviously, or at least puppys love)
Well, I ship them in nine games. But it's Link/Malon in OoT (or Link/Romani in M'sM) and Link/Midna in TP (I like their dynamic).
I hope that's clear, I actually speack french.
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Yeah, TP Link is the Hero of Time's descendant. It's canon, and while that doesn't make MaLink canon, strictly speaking, it certainly narrows down the possibilities.
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Yes, the Hyrule Historia has confirmed it.
I did that comic (the one you faved) because of the lactose intolerance gag. But you know what? I think I start to like MaLink more and more. Let's say this comic happens in the timeline when Link is erased at the end, and he is cured from lactose intolerance in Termina by drinking Chateau Romani, because...it's magic! And I always thought the sisters were the nicest charachters toward Link in M's M, they're the only ones who don't just ask him for help but also offer him to live with them, giving him a new family.
And I guess you know what happens if you try the 'escorting Cremia' sidequest a second time?
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I am very familiar with the hug (Although I think it's either random or based on how far back the "bandits" are at the end of the track, because most of the time repeating that event just gets me a Huge Rupee,) and Romani's invitation, both of which stand out to me as the most intimacy Time ever receives, in both games.
I've been on board the MaLink train for basically as long as I've been a Zelda fan.
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When I was playing OoT I made a sex joke saying that Link should have sex with Malon.
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I like this! You didn't offend me at all. I actually like Link and Malon together. This scripting was hilarious and had great points.
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who gives a fuck they're video game characters designed to have a positive relationship on the most blunt base level. if the pairing makes people happy, let them have their fun, you patronizing cocksuck
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You gives a fuck, apparently. They're fictional characters, yes, and this work is a (six year old) humorous critique of their relationship.
And I do let people have their fun. In case you haven't noticed, this is the most recent actual entry to my gallery, and I haven't posted any "Fuck ZeLink" content of any sort to the web in years. If you want to go after, to use your words, "patronizing cocksucks," Queen-Zelda would be more deserving of your attention.
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I'm glad you told them off.Β
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Zelink does not work out in skyward sword, nor does illiaxlink on twiligh.
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This is perfect with the truth sprinkled on top. And now? I think Zelda and Link could be twins. Yay.
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YES THANK YOU FOR MAKING THIS!Β
Zelink to me just seems so forced and I only ship Link with Zelda in Skyward Sword where at least they had someΒ chemistry and knew each other for more than just a few conversations.
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If she actually cared about Link she would have thrown him the sword during the final battle with Ganon
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The last part of the description... It's so true.... And those Zelink fans should think about what would happen if they had kids.
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((Oh God that was too funny~
Imsorryicamehereeventhoishipzelinkimsorry-
But can I PLEASE draw one part of the journal?
The twin part? That had me rolling~
Oh oh I'll just start on it now~! Be back sometime with the drawing~!))
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Feel free.
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I agree with you totes. (EXCEPTFORSKYWARDSWORDBECAUSEFLUFF.) Also, if any ZeLink DID happen, it would lead to inbreeding between ZeLinks 'cos they be all descendants of each other. *nods*
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I Like it 
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even though i love the two together this was really good
especially this part...
Well, I was left in the care of the Kokiri by my dying mother, and noone in Hyrule ever talks about the late Queen... I'm not ruling out the possibility that we might be twins.
Yes.
Tell me about it...
No problem. *Hands her the Ocarina*
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How articulate of you, thank you for the well-thought out and insightful comment.
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XD calm down. Was only a joke. let me apologize. We people have diferent thoughts, I know it. I was only joking, donΒ΄t think bad
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A comment consisting of nothing but "FUUUUUUUUUUU [Angry Face]" isn't a joke. It's spam.
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O well, flag as spam I donΒ΄t care
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You should care, because if you just keep doing it you'll be nothing but a nuisance when you can be better.
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Oh man, stop it! IΒ΄m not trying to search fights!
*Apologizes* SOrry?
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This isn't becoming a fight. I am merely telling you that spamming won't endear you to anyone.
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With all due respect, There is no possible way Link and Zelda are related in OoT, 1 because If there "Queen" died and Hyrule happened to have a Prince Aka Link, then don't you think they'd go looking for him? Just a thought...
And, Sure Zelda "Could" have thrown the Master Swprd back at you, but wheres the fun with that? And maybe it was to heavy or, it was stuck in the ground to deep.
Every Link and Zelda, aren't the same people and most of them don't come from the same bloodline. They could be related in on game, and then they could be two completely different people in another.
I'm not really complaining, and If I was.... oooh you would not want to be around me.... but I respect the fact your not afraid to share you opinion, I just don't love the idea of people feeling like idiots after they say things...
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Without looking back at what I wrote so long ago, I believe the proposed scenario was that the queen ran off with the infant prince while the king stood his ground defending the equally young princess. In such a scenario, if the queen didn't return and was assumed to have died, it would be a completely natural assumption that the prince died as well, and even if a search party were sent out, by that time Link would have been assimilated into Kokiri society.
So yes, it's entirely a possibility. Just a possibility at this time however, I don't know if Hyrule Historia confirms or refutes it.
And are you seriously going to argue "fun" when defending a character's complete failure to even attempt to get the savior of the land's sword to him? She doesn't so much as try to pull it out, so if it were too heavy (Not likely, given she had to live as Sheik for seven years; Holding a sword shouldn't be beyond her) or too deep into the ground (Even less likely, considering how much of it was still visible) wouldn't matter. She just... UGH, I hate that moment so much, and it reflects SO poorly on that Zelda...
I'm not trying to argue that it's the same Link and Zelda every game (Only a troll or an incredibly casual fan would), and I don't recall this essay talking about any Link or Zelda besides the ones in Ocarina.
I thank you for remaining civil in the discussion, and hope that you would chastise those who refuse to.
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Ugh.... This is what I mean by looking back at your stupidity and wishing you never hit that send button.
You have lots of good points.... But we all know the deal with video game logic.... I hate it when people take little mistakes so seriously.....
I for got about Skeik....
..... It's a game dude.... So what if it was a COMPLETE failure. It's a game.....
I was just wondering...... Is it only the looks that makes you think they are related....?
Excuse me if any of this seems stupid or you don't understand what I mean. I'm a little tired and grouchy....
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I think I get the gist of what you're saying...
But, I don't really believe in "It's a game, lol" as a legitimate counter-point. It's an excuse that works for stuff like "Where do the bad guys get all these minions" or "How did this NPC get here before me without doing any of the puzzles or fighting any of the enemies?" but it can't/shouldn't negate what a character's actions (Or lack thereof) say about them.
Zelda didn't even try to pick up the Master Sword and throw it to Link. What could be the reason for this? I can think of a few...
-Zelda is stupid
-Zelda is too busy ogling Link to realize he doesn't have the Master Sword
-Zelda secretly wants Link to die
Two is out because she was aware enough to realize that the flames had died down, and three makes no sense unless one is also true. Either way, not positive qualities, definitely not.
The most correct assumption is that the animators didn't have time/feel the need to animate Zelda running over to the Master Sword and trying to pull it out, but it's an immersion-breaking option that shifts the fault from the character to the developers without really solving the problem.
These are the kinds of things that need to be considered when you add a story to a game, because it literally can (And for me, did) mean the difference between liking and hating a character. That it's just a game doesn't change that.
And I don't think they are related, per se, I just think it's a possibility that would require minimal changes to the game to make happen. It's a theory.
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Phew, I thought that I was the only one who hated Zelink!
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And ironically, it's for the piece in my gallery I currently loathe the most. (Not because my views have changed, but because had I a time machine I would smack my younger self and make him completely re-write this at least five times because I know I can do better.)
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Really? Why? It's funny and logical.
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Awkward and unrealistic dialog. Certain lines feel less like what the characters would say and more like what debating fans (i.e. the inexperienced schmuck who wrote this) would say.
It's kinda like Naruto Abridged and early Dragon Ball Z Abridged where the characters talk as if there's an open window in the fourth wall and all the charm is leaking out through it.
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Gotcha. Makes sense. Why don't you fix it up then?
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Well, for one, I'm a chronic procrastinator. I have a lot more actual new ideas I want to write before tending to the fanfiction.
For another, I wouldn't even if I did have the free time. I feel it's important for an to hang on to their work for the sake of perspective and being able to look back and actually see how far they've come.
And for a third, I simply don't want to.
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You argue a good case xD
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Veryyyyy funny. i was never zelink person for ocarina of time...i have a questionish about the author comment thing...ok soo. every link is a descendant of link??? i dont necessarily think thats true. i know that however all zeldas are descendants of zeldas cuz of the royalty thing. so... just for example..Tetra marries link from windwaker...and then in spirit tracks we know that the zelda there is the grandaughter of tetra..She could also be the grandaughter of the link from windwaker..and the new link in spirit tracks is some random guy from a random family...
i just confused myself...and im not saying that tetra and link is canon. i do not know...
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I'm not certain, but I don't recall Spirit Tracks being out when I wrote this. And even if it had, I rather quickly grew to hate Spirit Tracks anyway. But in any case, I guess that makes the part about future-incest debunked.
Unless... Somewhere down the line, there was a bit of unfaithfulness from a Hylian prince that was covered up... No, no, no, that would make that game's forced romantic tension even worse.
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No thanks, kay bye.
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Apology accepted, just don't do it again. To me or anyone else.
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I get kinda deffensive when I see purposly anti-ZeLink stuff, I respect other pairings, and should do the same for ZeLink, you don't have to support it, I just wish that Anti-ZeLink people would just simply respect it. I respect the fact that you don't support it, but that doesn't mean I have to like it.
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