intheskygirl In reply to InvokerSama [2014-12-24 15:21:30 +0000 UTC]

OMG IKR

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SecretGeek87 In reply to Amity-And-Sorrow [2013-12-06 23:46:56 +0000 UTC]

No, you are right. During the beginning of this school year I had this mind set. Everyday I'd come to school with a smile on my face, making everyone happy. When inside me there were negative emotions building up.

First I became uncomfortable with who I was and what I was becoming. Then I started to judge myself in everything I did. Of course no one knew because I hid it behind this elaborate mask of a happy, funny guy who had no care in the world. Then it finally all rushed out when I learned that my most beloved childhood cat of mine was probably going to be put down. I was truly devastated. I tried to hide the emotion again but it blew out no matter what I did. With that much negative energy built up behind that mask, it was a terrible display of yelling screaming and throwing things everywhere. I'm not proud of what I did and I wish I would gave talked about it to someone before it was too late.

So don't ever let your emotions build up behind your mask of lies and fake smiles. Instead, find a friend, a true friend, that you would trust with anything, and talk to that person. Trust me, they will listen.

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Amity-And-Sorrow In reply to SecretGeek87 [2013-12-07 00:02:23 +0000 UTC]

It's hard to deal with most situations when one has done that. I do know the feeling. Little things, the smallest of insults, would leave me in tears. Bad news would crush me. It was a terrible time. I had considered self harm at that age and in high school. Thankfully, I met a few people who prevented me from doing that. 

I still talk to them and vent to them when I need to. They've always gladly listened and wanted to help out. Ironically, now that I've grown up, I've turned into a bit of an open book, so it's easier for me to express what I'm feeling. 

It might just have to deal with age and how much pressure a teen can take. Honestly, as a teen, everything is overblown and worse. Getting older, I've learned to deal with things easier and not be so shaken by others.

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Bibbledoo In reply to SquallAce [2014-11-23 04:00:55 +0000 UTC]

There are times people feel different, and contadict themselves. One day I was feeling like I was going to kill. Five minutes later, I was rolling on the grass and playing around with rocks.

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GeotrixQueen In reply to htmnise [2013-06-23 04:07:03 +0000 UTC]

This is borderline crud. Even through elementary school I had extreme bouts of emotional issues, most likely pertaining to depression (only found out from a doctor maybe a year ago that I have depression.)

And no I don't have bi-polar disorder or psychosis attributing to it.

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MikkiMarie In reply to htmnise [2013-06-22 23:17:34 +0000 UTC]

Actually, I did not diagnose myself My psychiatrist diagnosed me. I can't be officially diagnosed with it until I'm 18, but that's what my psychiatrist says it most likely is.
Thanks for the comment

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htmnise In reply to MikkiMarie [2013-06-22 23:30:20 +0000 UTC]

oh really? thats weird because i'm doing my psychology phd currently and it's highly unlikely that a 13 year old would even be referred to a psychiatrist (usually you'd get referred to a psychologist first because psychiatrists are reserved for seeing patients that need medication for their illnesses) and regardless of that no good head doctor would prescribe anti-psychotics to a 13 year old. sorry but your story seems really farfetched. "but that's what my psychiatrist says it most likely is"??? again... sorry but neither psychiatrists or psychologists would tell you "thats what it most likely is." the equivalent of what you're saying would be a doctor telling someone "you most likely have cancer- but i can't tell you until you're 18."

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Si-chan In reply to htmnise [2013-06-23 11:23:11 +0000 UTC]

Really? Your PhD? And you aren't aware that mental illness can affect young children? While most official diagnosis can't be given until adulthood, it is still a well known fact that children and teens can be affected by the same mental illnesses as adults. It just often presents a little differently.

Before you get your PhD, I strongly recommend you go work with the people you will one day treat. I once thought the same thing as you when all I did was learn the info from textbooks. Once I began working at a psychiatric day program and learned the history of my patients, many of them reported having symptoms of their illnesses far before the age of 18.

Its a common criticism of the DSM, because many kids fall through the cracks since it was last updated at a time when kids with problems were considered either retarded, ADHD, or oppositional.

That said, the thought that she was lying/self-diagnosing did run through my mind. But most people who self diagnose don't also use the phrase "with psychotic features", especially at age 13. So either she's telling the truth or she's a very excellent liar.

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BritLawrence In reply to htmnise [2013-06-23 05:04:05 +0000 UTC]

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Black-Angel-Dan In reply to htmnise [2013-06-22 23:40:41 +0000 UTC]

In America, the system is screwed up. Ever heard of Prozac? Even more screwed up and liked than Ritalin in Germany.

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Kinglorshi In reply to Si-chan [2013-06-23 01:51:04 +0000 UTC]

It may be popular because of arguments and people sharing it, but not always for popularity reasons.

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Si-chan In reply to Kinglorshi [2013-06-23 11:01:53 +0000 UTC]

That's true. Well, I'm still jealous, cause it means someone cared enough about her work to complain and argue about it. So, someone needs to care enough about how much my stuff sucks to make it seen by more people!

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Kinglorshi In reply to Si-chan [2013-06-23 23:53:58 +0000 UTC]

Well, to be honest, I entered in because I became aggravated by it, not because I like it. Of course, there are those who stand by it firmly, and I get why, but on the other hand...

The writing isn't the best, to put it simply.

Hahaha, maybe. That wouldn't be good though.
I've looked at your stuff, and I'm not sure what to say to provide a tip. Don't be jealous of this though, it's not something worth being jealous of. My tip to you is to improve some more, and maybe create your very own inspired works. It may take time, but just focus on getting the RIGHT people, not everyone.

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Si-chan In reply to Kinglorshi [2013-06-24 21:16:02 +0000 UTC]

Lol same here. I hate "poems" like this that just whine about life and no one understanding. Especially when its written by a prepubescent teeny-bopper, cause they likely haven't experienced true stress and pain yet. I remember being this writer's age (and younger) and watching my father try to kill my mother every other week or so. And I can say even then, I STILL didn't know true stress until I became an adult and had to start fending for myself. So it pisses me off when people write whiny stuff like this. I thought many others felt the same, and thats why it became so popular, but a lot of people seem to be singing her praises! I assume its because of her pleasant attitude in the comments that offsets the tone of the poem.

I just wish more people would see my work. At this point, I don't even know if I care if it's the right kind of people, lol. I cant improve without critique, but I cant get critique without people seeing my work. Cause my only contact with the artistic community is deviantart for now. While a lot of trolls and emos may have been attracted to this piece, there were also a lot of people like me who gave her earnest critique. When I see quick scribbles like this getting so much attention while I pour everything I got into my work and no one blinks an eye at it, its really frustrating, ya know? Especially because I dont want popularity, I just want constructive criticism.

Perhaps I'll write a short comic biography about depression and show these emos what true depression is really like, lol. And maybe that'll also draw some critics attention as well.

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Kinglorshi In reply to Si-chan [2013-06-24 22:52:51 +0000 UTC]

I understand that there is a difference between sadness and depression, and sometimes I wonder if it's one or the other. But people sing praise because they may have actually felt depression. I am in no way defending this particular piece, but there are those who are caught in the loop that they think it could be actual depression that is being referred to. This poem definitely comes across as whiny too.

If you wouldn't mind me saying though, and this is just a thought, but I don't like comparing one's stresses with another in the sense that "they haven't gone through anything yet" or "they could've gone through what I have (as an extreme)" when people all react to things differently and also never suffer through the same things, so it is an unfair comparison. So, what once person feels isn't legit simply because they didn't lose someone? Something small to others may seem big to them. I know that's not what you meant, and I may be annoying you by mentioning this, but it's something I wanted to bring forth.

Again, it doesn't matter at all, you've gotta wait for the right people. I've been getting more watchers, but not all of them critique in the way I want. Maybe you should make more of an effort to ask your watchers what they think. I met an artist who had literally 200+ watchers, she's young and very talented, but until I joined her page she was joyous because I was the first insightful person to come to her page (for constructive criticism and feedback). I can see why you want more people, but in all honesty, it is a waiting game. If you start trying to appeal to people by going to the lowest common denominator, that's what they'll expect, and once you try branching out there will likely be a number of people that will leave you.
It sounds corny, but you've got to be passionate (which I assume you are), and you also have to experiment and really make your work unique. I think that's what you need to try. That's just my two-cents. Of course, I'm a writer, so it's a little different, but try experimenting and trying to find out what you would rather do, which isn't easy.
Maybe make a character for a comic series, and something that you and others can relate to. Nothing will work immediately though.

Just don't bring yourself to the lowest common denominator. I am not sure how far anything will get you, but don't obsess over it. Maybe you might get a few good people, but keep in mind numbers don't mean as much. I've recently started to care less about getting numbers, despite my really small watcher size. So... I know you're kind of joking, but don't drop that low. And when people find out that you're just making an attempt of popularity, people will probably start leaving you.
I know you're kidding, but don't consider trying too hard.

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Si-chan In reply to Kinglorshi [2013-07-06 22:00:55 +0000 UTC]

I haven't been at a computer long enough to answer, lol. But I thought I should throw out there that I wasn't trying to compare my stresses with hers. I was comparing my childhood stresses with my adulthood stresses and simply saying that even though my life was much more hectic as a kid, I am more stressed out now than before. So when children/teens complain about their lives, all it makes me think is that they have to start manning up or their lives will only get worst from there. They have no idea that things only get more stressful as you take on more responsibilities in life.

Many (not all) young people who would appreciate a poem like this are simply going through puberty and don't realize that things can get better for them if they work at it. They don't understand that there is life beyond the crazy high school drama and cliques and "feeling misunderstood". Everyone has gone through this stage, I think. Which is why it confuses me that it became so popular. As I said before, there are literally thousands of poems exactly like this that people never blink an eye at...but this one (and her other one) skyrocketed to the first page. It boggles my mind.

As for watchers, my main issues again is not becoming popular or getting more numbers so much as getting critique. I can't get better without critique, and I can't get critique without people noticing my work. In the end, if you post work on a website, you post work to be seen, not to just sit in a corner. Anyone who denies this is fooling themselves, because you would just keep it in your portfolio if it didn't matter in the slightest. Asking for your hard work to be noticed isn't really that vain or self-centered. Really, if no one is seeing it, it kinda defeats the whole purpose of showing it. Which is why I actually don't get on deviantART very often anymore. I keep a lot of my work to myself and just accept that I've hit a plateau, lol.

That said, the short comic about depression is something I've actually been considering for a while now. Many people write these emo poems and say "it's about depression", and it really makes people with depression seem like we are all whiny, ungrateful, immature people that just can't deal with a little normal stress. The only reason I haven't done it yet is because the whole purpose would be to raise awareness about mental illness...but if no one is really seeing my work, then obviously it will not raise awareness much, lol. But I figured if this can be so popular, maybe it would catch some people's eyes after all.

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Kinglorshi In reply to Si-chan [2013-07-07 01:20:48 +0000 UTC]

I think what you say is true, albeit to an extent. Just because those stresses came around at puberty doesn't necessarily make them false - sometimes they're warranted, and more genuine, but I do agree that sometimes it's just the usual spike that comes around. Then again, there are people ACTUALLY in depression, and I think some of these people are magnetically drawn to these - but you never know on an online, faceless site.
Still, life as an adult is still quite stressful. I just don't like to compare one's stress to another because it can be unfair, and people have different skins and sensitivities. Just because their younger doesn't always mean that their stresses are just merely a part of growing up - there may be strings attached.

That is true, until the part of "feeling misunderstood" which to me is a morally gray area. But that depends, and I understand your connotations.
And yes: me saying that there is genuineness in regards to "feeling misunderstood" does go past the boundaries of high school drama.
And that is true too, people do write a lot of works like these, but this skyrocketed in popularity, which is surprising to me too. I'm not quite sure why, actually - but that's usually how it works.

I once read that you wrote "I don't care who does it, I just want a critique" which can sort of come in terms with popularity. A lot of people can make critiques and it's up to you to decide how much you want to consider. But I get it.
I agree, everything you post here is to be seen by others (unless you make it private). However, you don't solely need critiques to improve - having the mindset where you consider what goes right and what doesn't help in terms of ideas, and in terms of execution research and practice help. Try different ways of drawing, try sketches, those kinds of things.
If you practice more and wait, and try to do things your own way (or the opposite - doing what everyone wants) then you'll break that plateau, perhaps.
Although different for writing, I'm personally developing this sort of mentality where I look at my work from different angles. It doesn't eliminate the need of critiques, but it does help in making progress and making decisions. It still helps.

A lot of people are drawn to the topic, as am I, but the execution for it is undeniably... lackluster. Thing is, if you can actually make something very deep and relatable go all for it - that would actually be great if handled well. Your tone beforehand seemed very sarcastic, I think, and that you didn't need to put effort into it to be popular.
Hell, I'd read it if you actually did it - I'm just annoyed it isn't treated poorly.

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Si-chan In reply to Kinglorshi [2013-07-07 03:15:51 +0000 UTC]

Except, as I just said, I never compared one's life to another. And I never said that one's childhood stresses are illegitimate (hence my admission of watching my father try to kill my mother, which is a very legitimate stressor). I simply said that becoming an adult means that life will become more stressful automatically due to more responsibilities. I don't compare one's life to another because I know how painful that is firsthand.

The thing I DID said was that most, but not all, people who appreciate a poem such as hers are often not people who have gone through depression. I have talked to (and worked with) many people who have depression who strongly dislike poems and stories like this. Myself being one of them. Obviously not everyone dislikes this kind of stuff, but judging from the fact that the writer IS 13 and most of the people who like this appears to also be very young, I think my judgment is fair.

As for critiques and getting attention and such, I was being sarcastic but I was also being serious. The sarcasm is because I've pretty much given up on this site. I've been here for almost 6 years and I've realized that I haven't gotten any better for it. In fact, in a lot of respects I got worst because I was not getting the support and networking I was looking for. In fact, I got a lot of discouragement from my fellow artists and essentially gave up.

I think if I did this comic, I probably wouldn't put it on deviantART. There are too many furries and fetish nudes and emo poems that would overshadow it, lol.

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Kinglorshi In reply to Si-chan [2013-07-07 03:59:16 +0000 UTC]

Fair enough. I never said you did, it's just something I think about.

That is true too. There are a lot of people who hate this stuff, but there are also those get glued to it - as I've said before obviously. I don't need to say that again. I'm tired of this stuff because I see it too frequently, but I've sort of gotten used to it as well.
Your judgment is fair, I'm more concerned with the people commenting though.
I wasn't actually ever saying you were wrong, so I apologize if I made it seem that way. There are just things I think of I guess, even though I don't think that they're wrong. It'd be nice to see something that's quite brilliantly executed to represent depression on here... Although there are things that do represent well, you just have to dig for it.

Then did you over-hype this site then? Perhaps. I knew from the get-go that like any place largely populated there's going to be a lot of shit before you reach the gold. In fact, that's with anything. If you want better support, then you'll have to find somewhere else for sure, even if it is much less populated and much more specific.
By discouragement, what do you mean? Did they simply leave, or were they harsh? Or do you feel as if they're superior?
I still feel that you can improve without people telling you what's wrong. I can see why you're aggravated (or worse), by being here six years and feeling like you haven't improved, but sometimes the issue can be right there.

Like I said, there's so much crap here it's crazy - but I've seen a lot of inspired gold as well as really cool people. but that's also obvious too. If you do choose to leave, which I don't think I can dissuade you not to, and frankly it's none of my business, I hope you get the support you need. However, if you want to improve, do consider that you cannot always rely on others. At the same time, I can understand why it helps motivation, I've been there (and am still there).

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Si-chan In reply to Kinglorshi [2013-07-14 15:57:55 +0000 UTC]

In terms of the site, I joined almost 8 years ago and have been a consistent member for 6 years. Back then, there wasn't as many people on the site. There was still a lot, but it was more supportive. It was like...if you were good, you were GOOD and given credit for that. If you were mediocre or bad, you stayed in the background regardless of what you drew until you got better. The good artists didn't get flooded with as many messages, so you could talk to them and they would give you tips and hints and support.

Now, I've seen amazing artists overshadowed by whatever art fad is in at the time, usually something related to sex/fetishes. And more of the better artists have a superiority complex because they were able to stand out above the garbage. They don't talk to you the same way, and when they do, it's usually to rub in your face that you didn't go to art school. And that's what I mean by discouraging.

I've considered that I can improve independently until I reached my current plateau. Something is missing, I can't figure out what it is. But someone recently added one of my pictures to their faves, and they're an amazing artist with a FAQ section that helped a lot in terms of trying to figure out what I'm missing. I think I just have to force myself to practice and study books on my own. That said, I will probably continue to distance myself from deviantART, but the last few days here have been surprisingly productive, lol.

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