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MissAddledMiss — Dreaming of Insomnia
#birds #dawn #day #dreaming #dusk #insomnia #moon #night #sky #sun
Published: 2017-05-01 06:46:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 111; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Description
Prolong the nightsBy shortening the days
twilight marches onto
sunrise marches onto
Dusk
The day’s birdsong are sirens to the night’s stars
You look out the window
& drink in the light of the moon
You ink notes of its progression across the sky
You watch the stars twinkle into oblivion
A calm & coolness stings the earth
As purple ripples to blue
As blue ripples to orange
As night bleeds into day
As reality bleeds into dream
Or a constant wakefulness of a world tirelessly turning
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Comments: 5
I like the idea and how the poem shows it. The repetition lends a somnolent, and with the imagery, dreamy quality which is contrasted doubly in the last two lines with the sleeplessness of insomnia. You should try your hand at poetry more often. A strong opening and great finish, too.
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Thank you so much for your lovely comment! I'm really happy that you enjoyed it.
I may try my hand at poetry again. Great inspiration to write it usually come in short bursts. And I'm naturally long-winded so it's really hard to pick the right images and details without being tempted to go on and on about it.
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What a great job, I particularly love what you did with the flow in the second stanza, it portrays the blending of time into one immeasurable length really well without a break. (my favourite part in fact)
You also managed to make insomnia seem like a more calming and comforting thing, rather than how i imagine it to be rather frustrating and anxiety-breeding as the lack of sleep starts to gnaw on the nerves. I also believe you conveyed the silence of the sleeping world and the silent hours really well as a moment of inspiration for creating something. I guess there is something humbling and special about being the only person apparently awake when everyone else is asleep.
I believe you did a great job with poetry!
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Thank you! I must still admit that I'm a bit self-conscious about this particular piece because it's just so different from what I'm more comfortable with.
Oh thank you. I personally think that there are two sides of insomnia. There is a sort of magic of knowing you're the only one awake especially as you take in the world around you. Though I most adamantly stand by everyone getting a healthy amount of sleep, there's something enticing in watching the world go by in the night. It's a part of the day that we very occasionally get to see.
I'm glad you liked the second stanza! They were actually the lines sparked the piece but I couldn't help glare at it before posting because the picky writer in me debated endlessly about the formatting. That and conjunctions. Conjunctions though the peacekeepers (dealing out even hands to both halves of a sentence and bringing together ideas into one cohesive whole) I found a bit more obtrusive in this piece. I couldn't decide whether to take them or leave them. Oh and prepositions. Those dastardly devils! Always running up and down and around and onto places.
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Well I believe that sometimes stepping out of comfort zones is invigorating (I will never try poetry myself however) - it's sort of not as easy as people think.
I can understand that, it's like people who work night shifts, they're a select few in a very quiet and strange world and I can see how there would be some beauty in looking around at this place we only really consider in bright light and the bustle of the day. (personally to me, sleep and hot water are both luxuries I cherish). I went through this phase of being unable to sleep and I can also agree with you on the intriguing quality of the manner in which the hours pass in the night (even if that time was mentally not very good for me)
I think with poetry, one can get away with ignoring formatting rules to an extent to produce greater impact. I've seen poets break up sentences in odd places but it works so well to produce the mood they want - and the dynamic 'change' of that to our brain - so used to following a set pattern - is exciting. I personally don't see an issue with conjunction (though I know what you mean with the struggle regarding them, in poetry especially it can stunt the flow, or be needed to make it more comfortable, in this case I didn't feel it got in the way
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