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MissKelsee — Fiction Shelved True Stories.
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Published: 2008-11-03 22:38:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 221; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 8
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Description
The air was fresh,the leaves were crisp,
you wore your newsboy cap,
and I wore those leggings that we ripped that night by the lake
the benches were full,
but we didn't care,
we found our place amongst the blades of grass and the critters between them
you spoke with your smile,
and mine answered
eyes melted into eyes
lips matched lips
hands found one another
while we shared that crucial point in time,
I noticed an old couple sitting by the fountain;
he was holding her,
and she was smiling like she held the secret to the meaning of life
you glanced their way,
and your arms found their way around my waist,
and then I realized that I already held the secret,
or it held me
So I pointed their way and stated,
"I want that to be us in 60 years."
You smiled crookedly and whispered,
"Why not today?"
and that was the moment I decided that you were it
because even though they said we were too young to know,
too naive to understand;
we did know
we did understand,
and we were in love,
and that was all we really needed,
because we knew the secret
The air is fresh,
the leaves are crisp,
you're wearing your newsboy cap,
patched and worn,
and i'm wearing my black stockings
we caught the last bench,
the one by the iron fountain
you hold me tight,
before I allow myself to drift off into you,
I look back,
and there,
on the grass,
is a young couple;
the girl taking us in
I smile,
because I still know the secret,
and so does she
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Comments: 17
This is so breathtaking and beautiful.
I love it so much.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Wow. This is absolutely breathtaking. It reminds me a little of "The Notebook" but it's more picturesque and truly beautiful. I love it, and it almost did move me to tears. Your words are beyond... words. They are powerful and tangible, and I feel like if I drove to the park in my neighborhood, I might have a chance of seeing your couple. Y'know what I mean? They're just so real! I really love this one. Spectacular job.
~M
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Another exquisite comment from you. I'm touched really, that you find my work so touching. And to hear my words pass beyond average words, i'll never forget it.
<3
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I wouldn't say it if it weren't true!
~M
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The way you tied it back at the end is really amazing. It's so unexpected, yet so perfect at the same time.
I can see how this would move to tears, it's very impressive.
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ohwow.
thank you, really,
your comment was that best I have ever recieved.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
of course! you totally deserve it.
and it's always nice getting feedback that's a little more than just "good job".
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yes, it really is.
I mean, a good job is nothing toa writer.
it's so unfulfilling
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I just,
I wanted to write about something true,
and not just true for me,
but for everyone.
Because I hear all this talk about
"They're too young to be in love."
or
"They wouldn't understand,
they aren't old enough."
and it makes no sense to me,
ya know?
I mean, to me, love knows no age.
If you're in love, you're in love, no matter how old you are.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Right. I don't think love has an age either. And not just "You're too young." People seem to think that if you're over thirty and haven't found it yet, it's passed you by altogether. There's this statement that you have to be in love by a certian age. It sickens me.
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God I know. Maybe that's why this happened upon me. Because I wanted to prove them all wrong, I hope I did.
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Someone needs to. Why not you? I hope so, at least. There are some lessons in dire need of teaching.
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