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MissKelsee — Moments In Odd Skins.
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Published: 2008-11-30 20:27:21 +0000 UTC; Views: 202; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 4
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Description
That moment when you fall;when your legs forget how to stand,
when each rise and fall of your chest sends
a shockwave to every nerve, hitting like
a tsunami upon every grain of sand
That moment when you drop;
when your arms forget how to reach,
when you become lifeless,
your limbs hanging uselessly at odd angles
That moment when you die;
when your soul two steps out of your body,
twirling and dancing on the winds,
when your breath seems meaningless,
because oxygen can't save you when you're already gone
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Comments: 12
This is tragically beautiful and I love it.
Descriptions of death are always interesting because they vary so drastically based on perspective.
I think this one is one of my favorites... two stepping out of your body... amazing line.
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Thank you,
Maybe this comes from my belief that no matter how painful
your death is, the transition is always peaceful,
and if not peaceful,
slow and longing
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That's true. It must be more of a relief to die and know that you're going on to a much simpler and more peaceful place. It seems almost comforting.
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I think it's breathtaking. Go figure! lol
It's very powerful. I espescially love the last stanza... It's so very... for lack of a better word, poetic. "When your breath seems meaningless, because oxygen can't save you when you're already gone." Absolutely splendid. :clap
~M
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wow <3
and the last sentence?
it came suddenly when I had this exact moment happen to me,
two times,
and what happened afterward,
wasn't so poetic.
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Thanks,
but I'll be ok.
We live,
we hurt,
we thrive.
It happens,
it'll happen again,
and I'll always be ok.
<3
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I'm not sure if I like this line:
when your soul two steps out of your body,
It doesn't seem fitting to me.
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well I like it.
it's staying.
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You're really outrageously negative, almost seem offensive. We can have opinions can't we? I mean you're posting your work for others to read.
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If I feel negative at that moment, then I will write in a negative manner, how could that be offensive? I am allowed to have my own feelings. Writing poetry isn't about giving the people what they want, I'm not in this for entertainment purposes.
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You're right. I just don't want you to get all mad because I suggested something. That's all.
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