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Description

Item #: SCP-042-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the nature of the phenomenon, SCP-042-J cannot be contained, but an ongoing effort by Foundation field agents to destroy every pillow on Earth has been useless in curbing the phenomenon.
Description: SCP-042-J is a visual spacetime anomaly observed in 100% of tested pillows, regardless of the method or time of construction. Test subjects with only one eye appear to be immune to its effects.
The anomaly occurs when a test subject lays their head on a pillow and closes one eye, then switches eyes. SCP-042-J appears to teleport the pillow to a slightly different location relative to the previously observed position. To an outside observer, the pillow does not appear to move at all, an obvious indication of psychic projection by something. A slight "crossing" of the eyes makes it apparent that the pillow exists in two points in spacetime simultaneously; how it does this is unknown.
Timeline:
4/24/1992: Now-deceased comedian George Carlin references the anomaly at a show at the Paramount Theater in New York. It is unknown how Carlin initially discovered the anomaly. A transcript follows:
Like when you have your head on a pillow… did you ever notice when you have your head on a pillow, if you close the bottom eye, the pillow is down there, then if you switch eyes, the pillow moves up there? "Whoa, holy s███ Dave! Look at this! The mystery of the moving pillow…"
11/10/1992: Carlin's show from April 24th is released on HBO, titled Jammin' in New York. The anomaly instantly begins to manifest itself across the United States. Dr. █████ theorizes that Carlin is "a host spreading the parasite, or an alien or some s███."
11/11/1992: Mobile Task Force Pi-1 ("City Slickers") is deployed and Carlin is apprehended and brought to Site-28 for interrogation. Carlin was highly uncooperative and was released after autographing Dr. █████'s lab coat and receiving a Class-C amnesiac.
11/14/1992: SCP status assigned after Dr. █████ spent a full night observing the anomaly. Research on SCP-042-J begins in earnest.
11/15/1992: Seventeen (17) D-Class personnel were used as test subjects. All subjects confirmed that they saw the phenomenon, with the most common response being that SCP-042-J was "weird as s███."
11/17/1992: Dr. █████ resigns citing not having been able to sleep since the phenomenon was first detected. Dr. ███ takes over as project head.
11/18/1992: D-33023 is apparently immune to the effects of SCP-042-J, by way of having lost an eye while performing [REDACTED]. Further investigation using D-33023 is approved.
Ewwww, how did he even..? -Dr. ███
11/20/1992: It is decided by Dr. █████ that between the fact that all pillows seem to exhibit this anomaly and the sheer number of pillows on Earth, SCP-042-J has a high likelihood of being malicious, and a pre-emptive plan of attack is necessary. Requesting reclassification to Keter.
Denied. -O5-█
11/21/1992: Requesting parameter modification to Euclid-D to better protect the populace.
Approved. Destroy, destroy, destroy. God help us all. -O5-█
11/22/1992: Given the success of testing with D-33023, Mobile Task Force Kappa-7 ("Hammurabi's Lawyers") has been created with the assignment to remove an eye from every person on the planet.
I can't believe we didn't think of this sooner. -Dr. ███
11/23/1992: Dr. ███ has been demoted and MTF Kappa-7 disbanded.
Who the hell promoted this man? He's not even a real doctor. -O5-█
11/24/1992: Dr. ███████ replaces Dr. ███ effective immediately.
11/26/1992: It is determined that all pillows in the New York City metropolitan area have been affected by SCP-042-J. Mobile Task Force Kappa-8 ("No Sleep Till Brooklyn") has been created with the assignment of neutralizing every pillow in New York City.
Why did Dr. ███ want to cut out all the eyeballs? It's much cheaper and less painful to destroy all the pillows. - Dr. ███████
12/3/1992: Increased budget requested for MTF Kappa-8. Projections show it will take over 700 years to neutralize every pillow in New York at this rate.
Approved. –O5-█
3/7/1993: Due to the greatly increased budget and access to SCP-1543-J , neutralizing of New York City's pillows has been completed. Rioting subsided after the first few weeks of martial law. Dr. ███████ has met with Administrator █████ to discuss plans for North America and the world.
When in doubt, launch into the sun. -O5-█
3/16/1993: The SCP Foundation now stands for "Secure, Contain, Pillows." MTF Kappa-8 has merged with MTF Omega-7 ("Pandora's Box") to form Joint Task Force Zeta-1 ("No Rest for the Wicked"). Using SCP-076-2 's unique abilities targeted towards pillows, we anticipate total elimination of pillows from Earth by 12/31/1997.
Secure. Contain. Pillows. –Administrator █████
7/29/1993: JTF Zeta-1 has successfully destroyed every pillow in North America. MTF Epsilon-21 ("Pillow Fighters") is formed to monitor the continent for pillow-like activity and neutralize any pro-pillow advocates.
Filthy pillow huggers. Request re-assignment to MTF Epsilon-21. –Able
Denied. –O5-█
5/16/1995: Success in Europe. No notable casualties except for the entire population of the country of Iceland, which was inadvertently set on fire from the air. Dr. ███████ has been placed on paid leave for one week as punishment.
Ironic, that. The punishment would've been longer but, you know. Björk. –O5-█
6/6/1996: The last pillow on Earth has been destroyed, well ahead of schedule. The role of JTF Zeta-1 has changed to monitoring/policing.
A victory for mankind. –Dr. ███████
6/9/1996: Junior Researcher █████ notices that SCP-042-J still exists on the bed itself, and in fact pillows are not and have never been central to the anomaly.
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- -O5-█

Description

Item #: SCP-042-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: Due to the nature of the phenomenon, SCP-042-J cannot be contained, but an ongoing effort by Foundation field agents to destroy every pillow on Earth has been useless in curbing the phenomenon.
Description: SCP-042-J is a visual spacetime anomaly observed in 100% of tested pillows, regardless of the method or time of construction. Test subjects with only one eye appear to be immune to its effects.
The anomaly occurs when a test subject lays their head on a pillow and closes one eye, then switches eyes. SCP-042-J appears to teleport the pillow to a slightly different location relative to the previously observed position. To an outside observer, the pillow does not appear to move at all, an obvious indication of psychic projection by something. A slight "crossing" of the eyes makes it apparent that the pillow exists in two points in spacetime simultaneously; how it does this is unknown.
Timeline:
4/24/1992: Now-deceased comedian George Carlin references the anomaly at a show at the Paramount Theater in New York. It is unknown how Carlin initially discovered the anomaly. A transcript follows:
Like when you have your head on a pillow… did you ever notice when you have your head on a pillow, if you close the bottom eye, the pillow is down there, then if you switch eyes, the pillow moves up there? "Whoa, holy s███ Dave! Look at this! The mystery of the moving pillow…"
11/10/1992: Carlin's show from April 24th is released on HBO, titled Jammin' in New York. The anomaly instantly begins to manifest itself across the United States. Dr. █████ theorizes that Carlin is "a host spreading the parasite, or an alien or some s███."
11/11/1992: Mobile Task Force Pi-1 ("City Slickers") is deployed and Carlin is apprehended and brought to Site-28 for interrogation. Carlin was highly uncooperative and was released after autographing Dr. █████'s lab coat and receiving a Class-C amnesiac.
11/14/1992: SCP status assigned after Dr. █████ spent a full night observing the anomaly. Research on SCP-042-J begins in earnest.
11/15/1992: Seventeen (17) D-Class personnel were used as test subjects. All subjects confirmed that they saw the phenomenon, with the most common response being that SCP-042-J was "weird as s███."
11/17/1992: Dr. █████ resigns citing not having been able to sleep since the phenomenon was first detected. Dr. ███ takes over as project head.
11/18/1992: D-33023 is apparently immune to the effects of SCP-042-J, by way of having lost an eye while performing [REDACTED]. Further investigation using D-33023 is approved.
Ewwww, how did he even..? -Dr. ███
11/20/1992: It is decided by Dr. █████ that between the fact that all pillows seem to exhibit this anomaly and the sheer number of pillows on Earth, SCP-042-J has a high likelihood of being malicious, and a pre-emptive plan of attack is necessary. Requesting reclassification to Keter.
Denied. -O5-█
11/21/1992: Requesting parameter modification to Euclid-D to better protect the populace.
Approved. Destroy, destroy, destroy. God help us all. -O5-█
11/22/1992: Given the success of testing with D-33023, Mobile Task Force Kappa-7 ("Hammurabi's Lawyers") has been created with the assignment to remove an eye from every person on the planet.
I can't believe we didn't think of this sooner. -Dr. ███
11/23/1992: Dr. ███ has been demoted and MTF Kappa-7 disbanded.
Who the hell promoted this man? He's not even a real doctor. -O5-█
11/24/1992: Dr. ███████ replaces Dr. ███ effective immediately.
11/26/1992: It is determined that all pillows in the New York City metropolitan area have been affected by SCP-042-J. Mobile Task Force Kappa-8 ("No Sleep Till Brooklyn") has been created with the assignment of neutralizing every pillow in New York City.
Why did Dr. ███ want to cut out all the eyeballs? It's much cheaper and less painful to destroy all the pillows. - Dr. ███████
12/3/1992: Increased budget requested for MTF Kappa-8. Projections show it will take over 700 years to neutralize every pillow in New York at this rate.
Approved. –O5-█
3/7/1993: Due to the greatly increased budget and access to SCP-1543-J , neutralizing of New York City's pillows has been completed. Rioting subsided after the first few weeks of martial law. Dr. ███████ has met with Administrator █████ to discuss plans for North America and the world.
When in doubt, launch into the sun. -O5-█
3/16/1993: The SCP Foundation now stands for "Secure, Contain, Pillows." MTF Kappa-8 has merged with MTF Omega-7 ("Pandora's Box") to form Joint Task Force Zeta-1 ("No Rest for the Wicked"). Using SCP-076-2 's unique abilities targeted towards pillows, we anticipate total elimination of pillows from Earth by 12/31/1997.
Secure. Contain. Pillows. –Administrator █████
7/29/1993: JTF Zeta-1 has successfully destroyed every pillow in North America. MTF Epsilon-21 ("Pillow Fighters") is formed to monitor the continent for pillow-like activity and neutralize any pro-pillow advocates.
Filthy pillow huggers. Request re-assignment to MTF Epsilon-21. –Able
Denied. –O5-█
5/16/1995: Success in Europe. No notable casualties except for the entire population of the country of Iceland, which was inadvertently set on fire from the air. Dr. ███████ has been placed on paid leave for one week as punishment.
Ironic, that. The punishment would've been longer but, you know. Björk. –O5-█
6/6/1996: The last pillow on Earth has been destroyed, well ahead of schedule. The role of JTF Zeta-1 has changed to monitoring/policing.
A victory for mankind. –Dr. ███████
6/9/1996: Junior Researcher █████ notices that SCP-042-J still exists on the bed itself, and in fact pillows are not and have never been central to the anomaly.
FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- -O5-█