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Description

If this seems way more optimistic than usual that's because it is. What do you want from me.

---

When all of the most easily accessed and colonized regions of the New World were already snatched up, the end result was that any nation seeking to enter the colonial game would have to compete for scraps. This was the problem presented to Friedrich Casimir when he sought to build for himself a tropical empire by leasing Guyana from the Dutch. Already an idealist and a dreamer, Casimir had many fantastical projects that were well beyond his tiny holdings' capacity to fund or operate, much less controlling an entire country beyond the sea. But he wasn't the only one, and there was an opportunity presented in the much larger Kingdom of Bavaria next door. Johann Joachim Becher had published a public notice to support German colonization of the Americas some years prior, and initially the effort in Bavaria was focused on potentially taking control of New Amsterdam (modern New York). Seeking investors and resources, Casimir began to court investors across the Holy Roman Empire.

Most of his investment came from the states of southern Germany, and gathered together a colony ship that sailed for South America in 1670. Planned to settle on the Orinoco River, a combination of poor navigation and bad weather led the expedition to go far off course and land at the mouth of the Kalina River at the site of modern-day Jaremapo. Unbothered, however, the colonists simply set up camp and began to build their settlement, dubbed Casimir. The Kalina ("Caribs") proved to be friendly and cooperative with the colonists, and a small but thriving settlement began to emerge that began a slow but steady export of valuable materials back to Germany for the profit of the shareholders. Just two years later, though, the outbreak of the Third Anglo-Dutch War presented the colony with an existential crisis. Although the collective of German states and investors were neutral in the conflict, the territory had been leased from the Dutch and was primarily Catholic, making it a target for the English no matter what.

Naturally the English came to attack the region, but after an initial skirmish outside of Casimir the English later arrived to find that the settlement was mostly abandoned. Believing that the German colonists had fled back to Germany, the English initially called off their attack before learning that the Germans had in fact relocated to a new site further up the Kalina river dubbed Kamalakuli. The English returned in early 1673 to attack, but their warships were too big to sail up the Kalina River, and the jungles were too dense to penetrate with their regular army. The only true battle of the English invasion of the region was the "Battle of Camp Coswine", a skirmish where a small British outpost on the Coswine Creek was attacked by a mixed group of German settlers and Kalina natives. After this, the British withdrew, and the Third Anglo-Dutch War ended a year later. When it ended, the colony continued to exist but by then the investors and states which had divested themselves from the project.

At that point, though, the colony simply refused to die. Although without support from an established polity and interest within Germany having collapsed, this didn't stop people from coming. Granted, most were adventurers, ne'er-do-wells, pirates and smugglers, most often from Germany even without support from Hanau or Bavaria. Many of these migrants came instead from Brandenberg-Prussia (later just Prussia), often traders and merchants who happily became go-betweens for the burgeoning "rogue colony" that by 1700 was already a functionally independent country, what many called the "Kalina Free State". At this time with no real government besides a loose adherence to "The Articles of Agreement", the Free State is perhaps the closest any modern nation-state has come to being a functioning anarchy. Despite this the population continued to grow and more settlements were made along the Kalina River which only grew further as the War of the Spanish Succession again began to tear apart the Holy Roman Empire.

In the aftermath, as European powers began to consolidate power in the Americas and set their sights on ending piracy, the Free State bowed to the pressures of the world and agreed to submit to becoming a Dutch colony, primarily as a means of legitimizing the existence of the colony, but not without significant concessions wrought out of Amsterdam for self-governance and religious freedom, along with an agreement against perpetuating slavery. Although the initial colony had sought to create a plantation economy akin to other European colonies, the chaos caused by its early displacement and its status as a "pirate nation" had seen the first hundred slaves free themselves, and it was impossible to put that genie back in the bottle. Consequently, Maroons moved into the colony's territory to seek immunity from reprisal, and likewise escaped slaves also fled into the colony to take advantage of the protections offered by its unique arrangements. The one time the Dutch authorities attempted to recaptured escaped slaves, conflicts with local militias kept them from accomplishing this task.

And so, the Kalina colony continued its rough-and-tumble existence well into the later years of the 18th Century, by which point events in Europe again forced a change in the status quo. On top of the United States of America having seceded from the British Empire, the French monarchy had been toppled and a massive series of wars had broken out across Europe. When Haiti launched its own war for independence, and when the Dutch Republic was made into the Batavian Republic by the French, Kalina declared that its relationship to Amsterdam was voided and promptly declared independence as a legitimate nation-state with an issued constitution and formalized institutions of government. The French immediately launched efforts to try and suppress the secessionist effort, and likewise the British also sought to intervene on their own behalf, but taking advantage of the rough terrain and the fact that Britain and France were also fighting each other an ocean away, by 1814 when the Netherlands were restored to independence they recognized Kalinan independence.

Now as an independent country, Kalina immediately began seeking to build itself as a legitimate nation in the eyes of the world, which was easier said than done when considering the fact that it was a small and underdeveloped colony in a world where major imperial powers controlled most of the flow of the world's money, commerce, and political capital. Despite this fact it continued to grow itself upwards as a relatively stable democracy, gaining further immigration from the German states. In fact after the United States and Mexico Kalina was the third-biggest destination for German emigrants. This carried with it a large influx of labor and capital which integrated well into a society that was considered to be less segregated than many of its contemporaries, though being sandwiched between French and Dutch colonies meant that it also gained a fair number of "emigrants" (escaped slaves) from both Suriname and French Guiana prior to their own abolitions of slavery.

That same "piratical spirit" that fueled the country's earlier stages of independence continued to persist long afterwards, as although the government at times struggled to maintain control and cohesion outside of Kamalakuli (especially in the interior), many saw their loyalty to their community as paramount and continued to persist regardless of whatever stage of economic woe the country might have been in. In fact, at a time when countries across Latin America were in an almost constant state of civil war or political crisis, the biggest internal threat for Kalina was the so-called "Lawa War" when the communities of Woldorf and Ernach went to "war" with each other over disputes on land ownership and merchant travel up and down the river. The matter was solved when the Kalinan government agreed to construct a road to these two cities that would connect them to Kamalakuli, leaving the total casualties after the three-week "conflict" as one broken leg, a murdered sheep, and one house burned down, all in incidents wholly unrelated to the actual "war".

This stability gave the country the ability to weather the storms of the outside world to the point that it had not yet been involved in a major war until 1897, when a flight of convicts escaping the prison on Devil's Island made their way to Kalina via boat. The Kalinan authorities refused to respond to an effort by the French to extradite them, and this prompted a punitive expedition into Kalina. The French were able to quickly seize control of the capital and the coast, but militias continued to operate hit-and-run guerrilla warfare in the interior of the country. This combined with "passive resistance" by the people of the occupied cities made it much more of a political and military quagmire than the French had ever expected it would be, and with the Fashoda Incident leading to a temporary raising of international tensions, the French were forced to withdraw and abandon the "Kalina Spectacular" much to their chagrin and international humiliation. Kalina, though, was deservedly very smug.

By the 1930s the world had become accustomed to the existence of this bizarre nation, but it rapidly soared back into the forefront of public attention when the MS St Louis "went rogue" in 1939 and traveled from Hamburg to Kamalakuli with 937 passengers, most of them Jewish refugees who were admitted to Kalina despite lacking proper visas. The incident drew backlash from the Nazi Regime, and Hitler ranted to his officials about plans to invade and "set Kalina straight", claiming that its legacy as a German colony meant Germany was "entitled" to it. Of course, Germany would eventually lose World War II and the Holocaust would be put to an end, but not before 6 million Jewish people were murdered in history's largest genocide. In the years that followed, Kalina was one of the first nations to open relations with the State of Israel and President Erich Schulz, who had approved the entry of the refugees, was honored as "Righteous among the Nations" for his role in saving even just a few hundred refugees from the Nazi Regime.

The rise of tourism in the years following the Second World War has seen a new turn in the country's fortunes, with the country's tropical climate and vibrant ecology dovetailing with a unique Germano-Caribbean culture that has no parallel anywhere in the world. This leads to its own issues of course, primarily illegal gold mining in its interior and the struggles of cities to keep up with growing populations as infrastructure often fails to keep pace with the influx of economic migrants from neighboring Brazil, Suriname, and French Guiana, along with migration from other Caribbean island nations. Despite this, the long-standing optimistic view many people have of their country has yet to give way to an ever more uncertain world order. Even during the COVID-19 pandemic, Kalina reportedly suffered one of the lowest decreases in overall satisfaction with life and the performance of its government. Whether or not this "piratical spirit" drives it or a long-standing sense of community emerged from the unusual circumstances of its history, Kalina will just take anything on the chin with a smile.

Description

If this seems way more optimistic than usual that's because it is. What do you want from me.

---

When all of the most easily accessed and colonized regions of the New World were already snatched up, the end result was that any nation seeking to enter the colonial game would have to compete for scraps. This was the problem presented to Friedrich Casimir when he sought to build for himself a tropical empire by leasing Guyana from the Dutch. Already an idealist and a dreamer, Casimir had many fantastical projects that were well beyond his tiny holdings' capacity to fund or operate, much less controlling an entire country beyond the sea. But he wasn't the only one, and there was an opportunity presented in the much larger Kingdom of Bavaria next door. Johann Joachim Becher had published a public notice to support German colonization of the Americas some years prior, and initially the effort in Bavaria was focused on potentially taking control of New Amsterdam (modern New York). Seeking investors and resources, Casimir began to court investors across the Holy Roman Empire.

Most of his investment came from the states of southern Germany, and gathered together a colony ship that sailed for South America in 1670. Planned to settle on the Orinoco River, a combination of poor navigation and bad weather led the expedition to go far off course and land at the mouth of the Kalina River at the site of modern-day Jaremapo. Unbothered, however, the colonists simply set up camp and began to build their settlement, dubbed Casimir. The Kalina ("Caribs") proved to be friendly and cooperative with the colonists, and a small but thriving settlement began to emerge that began a slow but steady export of valuable materials back to Germany for the profit of the shareholders. Just two years later, though, the outbreak of the Third Anglo-Dutch War presented the colony with an existential crisis. Although the collective of German states and investors were neutral in the conflict, the territory had been leased from the Dutch and was primarily Catholic, making it a target for the English no matter what.

Naturally the English came to attack the region, but after an initial skirmish outside of Casimir the English later arrived to find that the settlement was mostly abandoned. Believing that the German colonists had fled back to Germany, the English initially called off their attack before learning that the Germans had in fact relocated to a new site further up the Kalina river dubbed Kamalakuli. The English returned in early 1673 to attack, but their warships were too big to sail up the Kalina River, and the jungles were too dense to penetrate with their regular army. The only true battle of the English invasion of the region was the "Battle of Camp Coswine", a skirmish where a small British outpost on the Coswine Creek was attacked by a mixed group of German settlers and Kalina natives. After this, the British withdrew, and the Third Anglo-Dutch War ended a year later. When it ended, the colony continued to exist but by then the investors and states which had divested themselves from the project.

At that point, though, the colony simply refused to die. Although without support from an established polity and interest within Germany having collapsed, this didn't stop people from coming. Granted, most were adventurers, ne'er-do-wells, pirates and smugglers, most often from Germany even without support from Hanau or Bavaria. Many of these migrants came instead from Brandenberg-Prussia (later just Prussia), often traders and merchants who happily became go-betweens for the burgeoning "rogue colony" that by 1700 was already a functionally independent country, what many called the "Kalina Free State". At this time with no real government besides a loose adherence to "The Articles of Agreement", the Free State is perhaps the closest any modern nation-state has come to being a functioning anarchy. Despite this the population continued to grow and more settlements were made along the Kalina River which only grew further as the War of the Spanish Succession again began to tear apart the Holy Roman Empire.

In the aftermath, as European powers began to consolidate power in the Americas and set their sights on ending piracy, the Free State bowed to the pressures of the world and agreed to submit to becoming a Dutch colony, primarily as a means of legitimizing the existence of the colony, but not without significant concessions wrought out of Amsterdam for self-governance and religious freedom, along with an agreement against perpetuating slavery. Although the initial colony had sought to create a plantation economy akin to other European colonies, the chaos caused by its early displacement and its status as a "pirate nation" had seen the first hundred slaves free themselves, and it was impossible to put that genie back in the bottle. Consequently, Maroons moved into the colony's territory to seek immunity from reprisal, and likewise escaped slaves also fled into the colony to take advantage of the protections offered by its unique arrangements. The one time the Dutch authorities attempted to recaptured escaped slaves, conflicts with local militias kept them from accomplishing this task.

And so, the Kalina colony continued its rough-and-tumble existence well into the later years of the 18th Century, by which point events in Europe again forced a change in the status quo. On top of the United States of America having seceded from the British Empire, the French monarchy had been toppled and a massive series of wars had broken out across Europe. When Haiti launched its own war for independence, and when the Dutch Republic was made into the Batavian Republic by the French, Kalina declared that its relationship to Amsterdam was voided and promptly declared independence as a legitimate nation-state with an issued constitution and formalized institutions of government. The French immediately launched efforts to try and suppress the secessionist effort, and likewise the British also sought to intervene on their own behalf, but taking advantage of the rough terrain and the fact that Britain and France were also fighting each other an ocean away, by 1814 when the Netherlands were restored to independence they recognized Kalinan independence.

Now as an independent country, Kalina immediately began seeking to build itself as a legitimate nation in the eyes of the world, which was easier said than done when considering the fact that it was a small and underdeveloped colony in a world where major imperial powers controlled most of the flow of the world's money, commerce, and political capital. Despite this fact it continued to grow itself upwards as a relatively stable democracy, gaining further immigration from the German states. In fact after the United States and Mexico Kalina was the third-biggest destination for German emigrants. This carried with it a large influx of labor and capital which integrated well into a society that was considered to be less segregated than many of its contemporaries, though being sandwiched between French and Dutch colonies meant that it also gained a fair number of "emigrants" (escaped slaves) from both Suriname and French Guiana prior to their own abolitions of slavery.

That same "piratical spirit" that fueled the country's earlier stages of independence continued to persist long afterwards, as although the government at times struggled to maintain control and cohesion outside of Kamalakuli (especially in the interior), many saw their loyalty to their community as paramount and continued to persist regardless of whatever stage of economic woe the country might have been in. In fact, at a time when countries across Latin America were in an almost constant state of civil war or political crisis, the biggest internal threat for Kalina was the so-called "Lawa War" when the communities of Woldorf and Ernach went to "war" with each other over disputes on land ownership and merchant travel up and down the river. The matter was solved when the Kalinan government agreed to construct a road to these two cities that would connect them to Kamalakuli, leaving the total casualties after the three-week "conflict" as one broken leg, a murdered sheep, and one house burned down, all in incidents wholly unrelated to the actual "war".

This stability gave the country the ability to weather the storms of the outside world to the point that it had not yet been involved in a major war until 1897, when a flight of convicts escaping the prison on Devil's Island made their way to Kalina via boat. The Kalinan authorities refused to respond to an effort by the French to extradite them, and this prompted a punitive expedition into Kalina. The French were able to quickly seize control of the capital and the coast, but militias continued to operate hit-and-run guerrilla warfare in the interior of the country. This combined with "passive resistance" by the people of the occupied cities made it much more of a political and military quagmire than the French had ever expected it would be, and with the Fashoda Incident leading to a temporary raising of international tensions, the French were forced to withdraw and abandon the "Kalina Spectacular" much to their chagrin and international humiliation. Kalina, though, was deservedly very smug.

By the 1930s the world had become accustomed to the existence of this bizarre nation, but it rapidly soared back into the forefront of public attention when the MS St Louis "went rogue" in 1939 and traveled from Hamburg to Kamalakuli with 937 passengers, most of them Jewish refugees who were admitted to Kalina despite lacking proper visas. The incident drew backlash from the Nazi Regime, and Hitler ranted to his officials about plans to invade and "set Kalina straight", claiming that its legacy as a German colony meant Germany was "entitled" to it. Of course, Germany would eventually lose World War II and the Holocaust would be put to an end, but not before 6 million Jewish people were murdered in history's largest genocide. In the years that followed, Kalina was one of the first nations to open relations with the State of Israel and President Erich Schulz, who had approved the entry of the refugees, was honored as "Righteous among the Nations" for his role in saving even just a few hundred refugees from the Nazi Regime.

The rise of tourism in the years following the Second World War has seen a new turn in the country's fortunes, with the country's tropical climate and vibrant ecology dovetailing with a unique Germano-Caribbean culture that has no parallel anywhere in the world. This leads to its own issues of course, primarily illegal gold mining in its interior and the struggles of cities to keep up with growing populations as infrastructure often fails to keep pace with the influx of economic migrants from neighboring Brazil, Suriname, and French Guiana, along with migration from other Caribbean island nations. Despite this, the long-standing optimistic view many people have of their country has yet to give way to an ever more uncertain world order. Even during the COVID-19 pandemic, Kalina reportedly suffered one of the lowest decreases in overall satisfaction with life and the performance of its government. Whether or not this "piratical spirit" drives it or a long-standing sense of community emerged from the unusual circumstances of its history, Kalina will just take anything on the chin with a smile.