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Description
Another finished piece for fiftyblackroses - this is her girl, Lucinda in her kelpie form!

This piece was a bit challenging to me, but not because I didn't know what I wanted, but because of wanted to reach a quality that is just superb. I really love this OC, I think she and her son is amazing characters and I really wanted to do justice for her - and for her kiddo, as the next piece - but something went sideways while working on this one and my artistic mood just crashed so hard into the ground, I am still recovering. It wasn't like I hated to draw, because I didn't, I just didn't feel driven to draw. Also, the stars came along and suddenly other areas of my life demanded my attention, got really busy weeks with family stuff, so it was just so hard to find the flow to finish this piece - or any piece. I actually have ongoing wips, personal art and projects for friends and nothing really excites me art-wise, not even personal art. Not gonna lie, this is a scary state to be in, especially if you gave everything to art and was serious about it and suddenly you just feel.... empty.

I picked up other hobbies recently to help, because I was so heavily focusing on art, I didn't really had anything else in my life. Also, there was a very tiring period I lived trough recently, when I found a lump in my body and cancer was a possible diagnosis - that also made me reflect back to my life a lot. And honestly, not this possibility scared me the most, not the "maybe I'll die at age 34", but I was scared for the ones I may leave behind. What will happen to them if I die? And what kind of life did I live to this point? If I'd die, then would I be happy about my past years? And honestly.... no. I'd feel like - I felt like - I didn't live at all yet, because I was too scared to do this or that, because what happens if I fail. I was also focused on learning art well so much, I didn't really enjoy the process at all, but was too busy with "am I doing it right, does this piece looks right, what about my teeny-tiny art business, will I make it for this month" etc. I didn't have real social life, I barely left the house, I barely spend time with my husband anymore, even though we do live under the same roof, because I had to practice or work on a commission. Because I needed to provide to keep us afloat. And you know, when you think maybe your ending is near, when you think terminal illness is in the deck for you and you look back, this is not exactly what you wanna see. I just wanted to change things, many things. I still do. I did change things, but I wanna change more, I need to find a nice balance between comms, learning and enjoying art, I need to find other hobbies, I need to have an actual social life, I need to spend time with my family. I need to be happy.

(Still waiting for some test results, but looks like I am healthy it was "just" a big scare.)

Thank you for my awesome client, fiftyblackroses, for being super patient with me, I couldn't say sorry enough for taking this long, but she was as cool as a cucumber about it and the sweetest, most understanding human being :3 You guys are always the best, so patient, so nice when I crash for any reason.

Oh, I also partly painted this piece in SAI2, which I find more and more comfy now - ofc not as PS yet, but getting there. And the other half of the piece was done in PS. because SAI doesn't have the same colour filters and texture brushes as my PS has.

Description
Another finished piece for fiftyblackroses - this is her girl, Lucinda in her kelpie form!

This piece was a bit challenging to me, but not because I didn't know what I wanted, but because of wanted to reach a quality that is just superb. I really love this OC, I think she and her son is amazing characters and I really wanted to do justice for her - and for her kiddo, as the next piece - but something went sideways while working on this one and my artistic mood just crashed so hard into the ground, I am still recovering. It wasn't like I hated to draw, because I didn't, I just didn't feel driven to draw. Also, the stars came along and suddenly other areas of my life demanded my attention, got really busy weeks with family stuff, so it was just so hard to find the flow to finish this piece - or any piece. I actually have ongoing wips, personal art and projects for friends and nothing really excites me art-wise, not even personal art. Not gonna lie, this is a scary state to be in, especially if you gave everything to art and was serious about it and suddenly you just feel.... empty.

I picked up other hobbies recently to help, because I was so heavily focusing on art, I didn't really had anything else in my life. Also, there was a very tiring period I lived trough recently, when I found a lump in my body and cancer was a possible diagnosis - that also made me reflect back to my life a lot. And honestly, not this possibility scared me the most, not the "maybe I'll die at age 34", but I was scared for the ones I may leave behind. What will happen to them if I die? And what kind of life did I live to this point? If I'd die, then would I be happy about my past years? And honestly.... no. I'd feel like - I felt like - I didn't live at all yet, because I was too scared to do this or that, because what happens if I fail. I was also focused on learning art well so much, I didn't really enjoy the process at all, but was too busy with "am I doing it right, does this piece looks right, what about my teeny-tiny art business, will I make it for this month" etc. I didn't have real social life, I barely left the house, I barely spend time with my husband anymore, even though we do live under the same roof, because I had to practice or work on a commission. Because I needed to provide to keep us afloat. And you know, when you think maybe your ending is near, when you think terminal illness is in the deck for you and you look back, this is not exactly what you wanna see. I just wanted to change things, many things. I still do. I did change things, but I wanna change more, I need to find a nice balance between comms, learning and enjoying art, I need to find other hobbies, I need to have an actual social life, I need to spend time with my family. I need to be happy.

(Still waiting for some test results, but looks like I am healthy it was "just" a big scare.)

Thank you for my awesome client, fiftyblackroses, for being super patient with me, I couldn't say sorry enough for taking this long, but she was as cool as a cucumber about it and the sweetest, most understanding human being :3 You guys are always the best, so patient, so nice when I crash for any reason.

Oh, I also partly painted this piece in SAI2, which I find more and more comfy now - ofc not as PS yet, but getting there. And the other half of the piece was done in PS. because SAI doesn't have the same colour filters and texture brushes as my PS has.