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Description
I suffer from depression. At least, I believe so as I have to deal with depressing and suicidal thoughts for years, getting progressively worse over time. I never went to a professional to confirm my mental state, and I don't have the money yet to afford it, so I don't really know for sure outside of feeling more and more upset or depressed at random, prolonged periods of time, suicidal thoughts, self-hatred, and contemplating self harm. It doesn't help that I get stressed easily and stress makes it worse. At my worst, the only reason I just don't kill myself is because I'm afraid of death, or at least I'm afraid of what's after death and whether or not there is or isn't an afterlife. At best, I surround myself with happy things to avoid those horrible negative thoughts that threaten to drag me down the depths of despair.
I normally don't do vent art; rather than making me feel better, it makes me feel worse as I sympathize with whatever I'm drawing. Also, I normally don't expressed my negative emotions or personal issues to people in general, much less the internet, due to feeling that no one should be bothered by my personal issues anyways.

I guess I choose to draw this is because Astra is my persona, so she would experience the same kind of problems I deal with as well. A bagbean that suffers internally, but hides it by outwardly positivity and trying to run away from those thoughts by simply physically running in general..

Description
I suffer from depression. At least, I believe so as I have to deal with depressing and suicidal thoughts for years, getting progressively worse over time. I never went to a professional to confirm my mental state, and I don't have the money yet to afford it, so I don't really know for sure outside of feeling more and more upset or depressed at random, prolonged periods of time, suicidal thoughts, self-hatred, and contemplating self harm. It doesn't help that I get stressed easily and stress makes it worse. At my worst, the only reason I just don't kill myself is because I'm afraid of death, or at least I'm afraid of what's after death and whether or not there is or isn't an afterlife. At best, I surround myself with happy things to avoid those horrible negative thoughts that threaten to drag me down the depths of despair.
I normally don't do vent art; rather than making me feel better, it makes me feel worse as I sympathize with whatever I'm drawing. Also, I normally don't expressed my negative emotions or personal issues to people in general, much less the internet, due to feeling that no one should be bothered by my personal issues anyways.

I guess I choose to draw this is because Astra is my persona, so she would experience the same kind of problems I deal with as well. A bagbean that suffers internally, but hides it by outwardly positivity and trying to run away from those thoughts by simply physically running in general..