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Honestly... How fucking long can a person's heart be hurting so badly over one damned guy? I'd say, Almost 9 or 10 months now I've been in love with him. It started with realizing I had a crush on him, then getting stronger and stronger, never dying out the way a crush normally would. When does it fucking stop...? It's not like he gives 2 shits. So when do I get to have a day without thinking about how much I miss him, the great and the not so great memories? Without thinking about all of the things he's done to hurt me tremendously; What I've done to fucking ruin so much, messing up time and time again? Beating myself to pieces thinking about how much I could have, and wanted to do differently...But didn't? Can't? Making a bloody mess of myself, horrified at the thought of other girls doing everything I never could do right. Let it stop already... I wish I could chose to feel nothing. I hate being in love. It just plain fucking HURTS. It makes you act stupid, irrational, makes you crazy and vulnerable...