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I wish it were easier
To say I love you,
Because it's true, in a way,
Despite never getting to know you
And turning you away at every turn
Feeling like a man's plaything,
I really, truly adored you
So much so I longed to see you everyday
You just have bad timing
And I have poor communication skills
I told you I was awkward but never
Capricious, or a grade-A bitch
Because when you told me you loved me
I really did hate you,
Just for a moment
And maybe if I felt anything at all,
If I felt regret just a day sooner
I'd have managed to mend these torn up strings
Maybe I'm just that desperate and alone to believe
That your string connected to mine,
Our fates intertwined
By something higher than you or I

There is a such thing as sorry,
I know,
And I wish I could say it to you,
Without denying my poor choices at every turn
I guess you finally got tired of these words
What do they mean if I don't even believe in them myself
Did you ever believe in me?

She got up off her wheelchair just to say
How cute and adorable I was
Like a little doll,
So inhumane
And it's true, even to you,
I'm a doll, and yet
As soon as I caught your eyes,
Just for a moment
My heart pounded so loud I couldn't breath
Looking back, I couldn't even speak,
Just shake a bit
And feel human for a bit
And as soon as you'd walk away, without even a hello or goodbye
I remembered how little I mean,
How little and insignificant it feels to be alive

And it still stings, just a little bit
To feel like an object rather than affectionate
And to predict you didn't see me
As anything more than easy prey
A one night stand of desperation
You could suck dry, weak and utterly useless
So what a surprise,
When I wanted to say something more than goodbye
All you could say, as though without memory,
"Who is this?"