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Description
UPDATE: Hey transfans! Do you like my Transformer humor, but can’t understand why I taint the rest of my gallery with filthy hyooman characters? I’ve opened up a NEW gallery that’s one-hundred percent robot rousings. Transformer jokes will still be uploaded to this gallery as well, so if you like my general jokes then there’s no reason to watch the other site. So if you’d like to follow along Optimus and gang thru transfunny misadventures, head on over to Cappitron!
[link]

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Cappy’s (Not So) Random Rant
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I tell you what, Wal-Mart destroys communities, hires zombie crackhead workers, and supplies no benefits so that the zombies can’t even afford their crack.
BUT.
When it comes to acquiring bonus material…I say kudos to you, hometown-crushing goliath Wal-Mart!

I just bought my special edition two-disc set of the Transformers movie. It’s in this weird elongated box, and not the normal two-disc box set, also being sold there. I read that Wal-Mart exclusively had a disc that ‘animated’ the Transformers prequel comic book, and that Peter Cullen (the voice actor of the big OP) would narrate it.
Well…not really. Despite what the box and reports might say, Cullen had about two lines of dialogue, and the other characters each had their own voice actor. Which I don’t mind, seeing as it really added a nice touch to the illusion.

NOW THEN THE REAL BONUS MATERIAL.
Once comic book Megatron started talking, I thought to myself, “That guy almost sounds like Frank Welker. Oh. Oh, sweet Metallic Jesus in heaven, please let that be Welker.” So we only get to hear Cullen talk for two lines, but we get to hear mother effin’ Frank “I Voiced Him First” Welker recite lines.
I can dig that.

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Cappy’s Rockin’ Rendition
====================
No Pedro, no derogatorio! Do not speak ill of the Transformers, for they will crush anyone who cannot suspend disbelief. Even their toyline. Even a crappy toy in their toyline. I totally dug Jazz; as soon as I saw his concept design I knew I had to have his toy counterpart. But…I ain’t desperate enough to buy a toy that looks like it was actually stepped on by Jazz.

I first became aware of “battle damaged” toys during when that yaoi-fodder Gundam Wing was on. It’s probably the same show that turned women on (…aww) to the concept of yaoi. “A toy that looks broken? Who the crap would want that?” I asked myself.
You disappoint me, Hasbro. Watch my robot transform into a piece of crap!

Would you like to know which of the movie toys piqued Jason’s connoisseur tastes? Would you? Because no chick can resist a grown man with toys on his shelf. See if you picked the cool ones:
1) Deluxe Bonecrusher: Simply because his head looks like a pumpkin and it makes me laugh.
2) Deluxe Brawl: He’s a frickin’ tank.
3) Deluxe Bumblebee Concept Camaro: This version actually looks like the movie character.
4)Deluxe Dropkick: I bought it simply because the truck’s deco is a big ol’ Decepticon logo. After a frustrating transformation with incompetent instructions, he has got to be one of the coolest looking non-movie characters!
5) Deluxe Jazz: You always remember your first.
6) Deluxe Jazz G1 repaint: I waited forever for Target to release it. Be careful, the racing stripes can rub off. Hey I expect top quality for ten American dollars!!
7) Deluxe Longarm: He looks like a frowny kitty. He’s also modeled after the tow truck from the movie.
8) Deluxe Recon Barricade: I never liked to original coloring. Or the Popeye arms. But I like this color scheme. I also think it’s funny to illustrate an eight-year-old boy being shot by a Transformer, so…
9) Deluxe Wreckage: I like the color orange. One of his prime colors is orange. COINCIDENCE?! But the coloring on his face was fudged on the one I bought; I like to think MY version now has a special edition silver handlebar mustache!
10) Fast Action Battler Frenzy: I think he’s my favorite Transformer, probably because they took the time to delve into his quirky personality.
11) Fast Action Battler Ironhide: Because it’s not worth paying twenty bucks for the other version.
12) Fast Action Battler Optimus Prime: I love his design. I also love that it was cheap.
13) Voyager Optimus Prime: Because it’s worth paying the extra twenty bucks for the other version. I almost broke that retarded automorph feature.

I’m tempted to get Fast Action Battler Starscream. After playing him in the game and seeing the mechanics behind the design, I’ve warmed up to his design. Ratchet is still highlighter-looking fugly and Megatron still resembles a bunch of metal hotdogs.
-The “Don’t Judge My Purchasing Habits! This Was My Lord Of The Rings!” Cappy

For the copycats: Micron Pigma pen (linework), discontinued Crayola educational watercolors, light blue Uniball 207 pen (for whatever the crap is inside Transformers).

Description
UPDATE: Hey transfans! Do you like my Transformer humor, but can’t understand why I taint the rest of my gallery with filthy hyooman characters? I’ve opened up a NEW gallery that’s one-hundred percent robot rousings. Transformer jokes will still be uploaded to this gallery as well, so if you like my general jokes then there’s no reason to watch the other site. So if you’d like to follow along Optimus and gang thru transfunny misadventures, head on over to Cappitron!
[link]

====================
Cappy’s (Not So) Random Rant
====================
I tell you what, Wal-Mart destroys communities, hires zombie crackhead workers, and supplies no benefits so that the zombies can’t even afford their crack.
BUT.
When it comes to acquiring bonus material…I say kudos to you, hometown-crushing goliath Wal-Mart!

I just bought my special edition two-disc set of the Transformers movie. It’s in this weird elongated box, and not the normal two-disc box set, also being sold there. I read that Wal-Mart exclusively had a disc that ‘animated’ the Transformers prequel comic book, and that Peter Cullen (the voice actor of the big OP) would narrate it.
Well…not really. Despite what the box and reports might say, Cullen had about two lines of dialogue, and the other characters each had their own voice actor. Which I don’t mind, seeing as it really added a nice touch to the illusion.

NOW THEN THE REAL BONUS MATERIAL.
Once comic book Megatron started talking, I thought to myself, “That guy almost sounds like Frank Welker. Oh. Oh, sweet Metallic Jesus in heaven, please let that be Welker.” So we only get to hear Cullen talk for two lines, but we get to hear mother effin’ Frank “I Voiced Him First” Welker recite lines.
I can dig that.

====================
Cappy’s Rockin’ Rendition
====================
No Pedro, no derogatorio! Do not speak ill of the Transformers, for they will crush anyone who cannot suspend disbelief. Even their toyline. Even a crappy toy in their toyline. I totally dug Jazz; as soon as I saw his concept design I knew I had to have his toy counterpart. But…I ain’t desperate enough to buy a toy that looks like it was actually stepped on by Jazz.

I first became aware of “battle damaged” toys during when that yaoi-fodder Gundam Wing was on. It’s probably the same show that turned women on (…aww) to the concept of yaoi. “A toy that looks broken? Who the crap would want that?” I asked myself.
You disappoint me, Hasbro. Watch my robot transform into a piece of crap!

Would you like to know which of the movie toys piqued Jason’s connoisseur tastes? Would you? Because no chick can resist a grown man with toys on his shelf. See if you picked the cool ones:
1) Deluxe Bonecrusher: Simply because his head looks like a pumpkin and it makes me laugh.
2) Deluxe Brawl: He’s a frickin’ tank.
3) Deluxe Bumblebee Concept Camaro: This version actually looks like the movie character.
4)Deluxe Dropkick: I bought it simply because the truck’s deco is a big ol’ Decepticon logo. After a frustrating transformation with incompetent instructions, he has got to be one of the coolest looking non-movie characters!
5) Deluxe Jazz: You always remember your first.
6) Deluxe Jazz G1 repaint: I waited forever for Target to release it. Be careful, the racing stripes can rub off. Hey I expect top quality for ten American dollars!!
7) Deluxe Longarm: He looks like a frowny kitty. He’s also modeled after the tow truck from the movie.
8) Deluxe Recon Barricade: I never liked to original coloring. Or the Popeye arms. But I like this color scheme. I also think it’s funny to illustrate an eight-year-old boy being shot by a Transformer, so…
9) Deluxe Wreckage: I like the color orange. One of his prime colors is orange. COINCIDENCE?! But the coloring on his face was fudged on the one I bought; I like to think MY version now has a special edition silver handlebar mustache!
10) Fast Action Battler Frenzy: I think he’s my favorite Transformer, probably because they took the time to delve into his quirky personality.
11) Fast Action Battler Ironhide: Because it’s not worth paying twenty bucks for the other version.
12) Fast Action Battler Optimus Prime: I love his design. I also love that it was cheap.
13) Voyager Optimus Prime: Because it’s worth paying the extra twenty bucks for the other version. I almost broke that retarded automorph feature.

I’m tempted to get Fast Action Battler Starscream. After playing him in the game and seeing the mechanics behind the design, I’ve warmed up to his design. Ratchet is still highlighter-looking fugly and Megatron still resembles a bunch of metal hotdogs.
-The “Don’t Judge My Purchasing Habits! This Was My Lord Of The Rings!” Cappy

For the copycats: Micron Pigma pen (linework), discontinued Crayola educational watercolors, light blue Uniball 207 pen (for whatever the crap is inside Transformers).