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forgotcooldrinks [2011-04-12 02:47:50 +0000 UTC]

Overall

Vision

Originality

Technique

Impact

Hi there,

It looks like we have a partially nude woman enjoying a cigarette near a window. I'd like to run you through what I see, as a viewer, and also as a fellow artist.

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,The Good
For starters, your choice of palette is striking. The red chair contrasts nicely with the glow of the open window. Further balancing the palette is that sea-blue. You've utilized the primary colors well here and it's good to see such versatility with such a limited palette. The use of an orange ornament tells me that you've done your homework.

Your use of lighting to create mood is abstract, yet accurate at the same time. The figure's skin reflects the yellow highlights and red glow of the armchair in a way that is misty, yet also reminiscent of an out of focus camera.

Also, the figure's pose is expressive, yet functional at the same time. What I mean by that is, it looks natural, like a position one might actually take, yet it is also graceful and suits the image.

Lastly, I think that the composition, a box within a box, really compliments the bold color scheme. We're struck by a sudden contrast of soft yellow and rich, vibrant red. Full marks.

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,The Bad
There are a few choices that you may want to explore here. The first is your use of thick linework. You'll notice that on her chest, where her blouse meets the light, you've created a subtle segway from the bright yellow into the figure. I thought that was very good. You used the same method on her abdomen to great effect. However, you used a thick, heavy line on her face and I think that is contradictory. I understand that you want to emphasize the face, but trust me, we know it's a face. Same thing with the outline of the window. The thick line creates a barrier which "protects" the eye from the contrast of the yellow and red.

Next, and I do mean this as one artist to the next, learn to draw hands and feet. I know that they're tricky, but a solid rendering of hands or feet are a badge of technical capacity for an artist. I can tell that you were uncomfortable painting them, and tried to hide them.

Finally, the smoke. Smoke is great because you can make it go anywhere you want and it makes sense. Use that when you plot your composition because it's essentially a "free line". When the two smoke trails intersect at the top of the frame, it makes the eye stop where they intersect. In this case, an open window, it's contradictory to "stop" the eye. You want to lead the eye out the window and out of the frame. I would say, scootch the smoke from her cigarette a little to the left, so it makes a more regular curved line and move the smoke from her mouth to the right and keep the wavy effect. This would also differentiate between the two lines.

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,The Ugly
There are a couple minor technical goofs that I noticed. The first is some overpainting where the two legs meet, halfway down her left shin bone. There's another spot of overpainting of shadow on her left hand, which makes her wrist sketonesque. The last spot I noticed is on the right edge of the window, just behind the figure's head. These are just little splotches of color that don't make sense that you might want to correct.

The other thing I noticed is the canvas texture on the left wall, where it meets the window. I can't tell if you did that on purpose or if you switched to a textured brush on accident. Either way, I think it's a great accent, but you might consider putting it somewhere else. To the left, along the frame edge would add some flavor to that otherwise uneventful part of the image.


.,.,.,.,.,.,.,Rating
Vision – Does the artwork present or reflect a point of view, theme or idea?

While sitting beside a window smoking is somewhat cliche, the artist utilizes a striking color scheme and heavy contrast to bring the subject matter to life. 5/5


Originality – Is the artwork fresh or new in its style, execution or approach? Is it something you haven’t seen before in its particular genre? Does it surprise you?

The artist creates something from himself and this is true for all forms of art. In this piece, the artist has created a figure that is also an expression of color and form. I think that the simplicity of the palette and brushwork is what makes it complex and intriguing. 5/5


Technique – Was the artwork skillfully created? Does the artist exhibit advanced knowledge of the medium and/or bring special focus to the craft of the medium used.

Not to contradict the above statement, the artist did leave a number of mistakes in the work that should have been corrected. These are minor "typos" if you will, but subtract from the overall presentation. 3/5


Impact – Does the artwork resonate with you or evoke strong emotions? Does it make you think? Does it blow your mind?

The work is simple, yet complicated; rough, yet sophisticated. While there is little emotional pull, the work is a treat for the eyes. 5/5

.,.,.,.,.,.,.,Conclusion
All in all, this is a tremendous work. The rough, unpolished style combined with the bold palette is striking. The figure is well rendered and the dramatic lighting is powerful. There are a few minor flaws, but that's to be expected from experimentation.

I hope that these comments can help you and that you continue to produce even better work in the future.

"Remember to be who you truly are, because who we are, truly, is love" -W. Parker

Thanks for your time,

M Peterson

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alidamnit [2011-04-19 10:31:37 +0000 UTC]

this is just so stunning to look at. very nice.

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