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An empty room,
I'm empty too
And everything reminds me of you

A heavy sigh escaped a pair of scowling lips. The owner rubbed his eyes viciously, irritating them even more. He had spent no more than three minutes in the room and already he was reduced to tears. But was it his fault? The place still seemed to linger with her presence. The (scent) perfume she normally wore had woven itself into the very air in his house. His house, not theirs. That hurt him even more.

She had taken everything that she had owned, leaving the place a little hollow. Or was he just imagining that? Setting his briefcase down, he made his way to the kitchen, decided he needed something cold and non-alcoholic. He had work to do and couldn’t risk getting drunk. Wallowing in his misery wouldn’t get anything done.

Maybe that was why she left. Ludwig’s workload never seemed to end.

So many things
I shouldn't have missed
The more that I push
And the more you resist

As Ludwig settled down for the night, a book in hand and the lights the perfect glow, he felt a flood of grief wash over him. Trying to ignore it, he knew he couldn’t ignore the painful flashback. It happened almost everyday this past two weeks.

“Ludwig.” her voice seemed a bit strained, but the German was too nervous about proposing to her to notice.

“Yes?” he normally spoke (language) with her, so his accent coated his words quite thickly.

“I’m not sure how to say this.” she sighed and it was then that Ludwig saw the thin film of tears coating her eyes. Without a second thought, he dropped whatever he was holding- a book if he remembered correctly- and rushed to (name)’s side. To say he was concerned was an understatement.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt? Do you need me to-”

“Stop!” she almost cried, moving her head away as she tried to collect her thoughts. Ludwig meanwhile hovered his hands above her shoulders, not sure what to do.

“(name), what is it?”

“Ludwig. I can’t do this anymore.” she managed to croak, emotions thick, “I’m seeing someone else.”

For a moment, Ludwig felt numb, as if her words had no effect. And then, all in a rush, he was consumed. His blue eyes widened and his mouth opened to an incredible degree. He just stood there, still as a statue as his methodical brain tried to process, understand and deal with an influx of information all at once. When he was able to speak he just whispered two words:

“How long?”

A few endless seconds later, he got a reply.

“Four months.”

He felt his world spin.

It's easy to say it's for the best
When you want more
While you leave me with less

It was his day off and his older brother had dragged him to a park, insisting he needed some fresh air.

“The more you mope, the more worried your awesome older brother is getting!” Gilbert complained loudly, wrestling with one of the dogs they had brought out for a walk. “Is this the first time you got dumped?”

“No, brother, this isn’t the first time.” This was actually the second time. Ludwig’s ever-persistent scowl deepened at his brother’s crudeness, “And I am not moping. This is called rehab.”

“Rehab?” Gilbert snorted, “What did she do to you? Leave you impaired?”

“I was going to propose to her!” the blond’s patience had snapped. The constant pestering, if not by his brother then by his own friends, had left him very irritable. He ignored the odd looks he got, still seething.

“Indoor voice, West.” Gilbert chastised softly, demeanour changing, “She really meant that much to you?”

“We’d been together almost six years, brother. I still don’t understand why she would do that.”

“What if she got sick of waiting?” Gilbert mused suddenly and a dagger-like pain struck through Ludwig’s heart making him halt abruptly for a moment. What if that was why?

I know you're fine, but what do I do?
I know you're fine, but what do I do?

Through their mutual friend, Elizaveta, Ludwig learnt that (name) was doing well with the new guy. Technically speaking he wasn’t really that new, but for his own sake, Ludwig referred to him as the new guy. He was recovering, or so he told himself. He hadn’t skipped any meals, he worked out as usual and he got his work done on time. He spent weekends either with his friends or at home, indulging in a hobby or simply trying to relax.

And yet he felt lost…

I'm awake, and trying
While you're sleeping like a babe
‘side him

It had been about three months after their breakup when Ludwig decided to move on. Easier said than done. When female co-workers had lunch with him, he kept up polite conversation, smiling when he had to and responding when he needed to. But he never felt anything. When he was with (name)- no. He couldn’t think about her, he was supposed to be over her. She had dealt him a mean blow, but he could recover. She was happy with her new man, if Elizaveta’s constant gushing was anything to go on.

As the days grew longer and more strenuous on his nerves, Ludwig knew for a fact that he had to recover. If not for himself then for his worrying brother. Gilbert had seen the change that had gone through his brother, and it was safe to say he was scared for his little West.

I'm on the ledge while you're so,
God damn polite and composed

Ludwig had bumped into her when he had gone grocery shopping five months after their break-up. Frankly he was surprised he hadn’t seen her sooner. They had started texting again, but it was always very brief, two or three words at most. Her pretty (eye colour) eyes widened when she saw his bulky form. It had been raining quite heavily, so the German had decided to wear one of his waterproof jackets, the type with a hood. Why was that so important? (Name) had bought him that jacket, so he could go out during the wetter days to jog. He still kept it. Now he regretted it because he saw her gaze linger on the material for a few moments too long. She remembered as well.

“Ludwig? It’s been a while.” her voice was as cheerful as always, but there was a sort of restraint in it. Too polite, too formal.

“It has.” the blond nodded, clipping his words. It was getting awkward already.

“So, what are you up to?” she asked, setting her items on the counter, glancing at him once or twice, never more than she was socially obliged to.

“I- Brother finished our groceries while on some weird depressive state, so I was just restocking.” (name) hummed as she paid and made space for Ludwig to check out.

“I hope he gets better. I’m sorry we can’t talk much, I have a date to go to.” Ludwig couldn’t hide the wince that struck upon him and it seemed (Name) noticed it as well, but she politely ignored it.

“I… I hope you have fun.” was all he was able to say, and quite robotically. He noticed (Name)’s smile was weakening.

And I know you see me,
And you're making it look so easy
What comes and goes,
I'd go without

Two months later…

It had been Gilbert’s brilliant plan, when was it not? He had invited (Name), her boyfriend, a few others and Ludwig to a picnic. Ludwig refused, hiding behind his work. Gilbert threatened to set fire to his prized collection of poetic works, that was the only reason Ludwig was even at the picnic let alone talking. Honestly!

“And when a goose tried to snap at the awesome me, this little chicky came and started a squeaky riot. It was loud enough to scare away the goose!” Gilbert was recalling another one of his pointless anecdotes when Ludwig caught a certain (eye colour)-eyed stare. When he shifted his gaze, they returned theirs. But Ludwig knew for sure (Name) had been looking at him.

And that just annoyed him further.

~ a few days later, brought to you by the Inter-dimensional Agency of Y.A. Fanfiction ~

(Name) had invited him out for lunch. As a friend. After that look he had felt on the day of the picnic, he doubted it. They decided to meet up at their local cafe. The one that got them together, had seen to many of their dates, meeting spots, fights, jokes and much more. He had been sitting on the table they always sat on, running his fingers delicately over the grainy pattern he had traced so many times. He was nervous, of course. He had almost gotten over her, he could see other women for women, not just population count. If (Name) was going to ruin that and mess up with his head anymore, then he was going to cut off all connections with her.

Gilbert was getting worse and worse even though Ludwig was the one who had been dumped. It made no sense but that was how it went. Even when Ludwig broke up the time before, Gilbert wouldn’t leave his room for a week, claiming ‘seeing his awesome West in an unawesome state broke his heart’. Ludwig was slowly beginning to believe that. The idea that Gilbert had also liked his girlfriends had crossed his mind, but something told him that Gilbert loved their relationship too much to break it over a passing fancy he had. No matter how strong said fancy was.

“I thought you weren’t going to show up.” Ludwig raised his icy blue eyes and let it settle on (Name). He saw her fidget slightly. Once upon a time no matter what look he sent her, she was never unnerved. But, as mentioned, that was a time before.

“I was invited by my friend. Why would I not come?” He laid special emphasis on ‘friend’, making sure his intentions for the meeting was clear. All the (h/c)ette could do was nod before settling on the seat across him.

“This place brings back memories, doesn’t it?” she finally smiled and the German fought back soft blush off violently. He wasn’t going to break here, no matter how pretty she looked.

“I believe that was why you chose this place.” Their relationship now was a little better than it had been a while back. Still not to the point where Ludwig was comfortable, but he could manage.

“It is. Thank you for coming, Ludwig. I know you didn’t have to.”

“As I said, I wouldn’t refuse an invitation from a friend.”

Well now there's him,
And now there's me
The secrets you give
And the secrets you keep

“But we aren’t really friends, are we?” (name) sent him a sad look, almost imploring. Ludwig ignored it. He really didn’t need this right now.

“We are. We agreed to being friends.”

“Do friends know as much as we do about each other?” she quirked a (colour) eyebrow, a soft sheen in her eyes.

“Platonic ones, yes.” The German could feel his guard rising, what was this leading to?

“Platonic friends.” she repeated, the word sounding hollow. Ludwig nodded stiffly, “Are you happy with that?”

“Why would I not be?” he took a breath in before continuing, “Even if we did break up, I have never thought any less of you or your personality. We were friends before, I am sure we can be again.”

“Friends again. I hope so.” she seemed out of it. An unsettling idea crept upon the blond as he viewed their conversation thus far. What was she hiding?

He wondered if he should voice his opinion before he lost his chance. She still seemed in a daze, so it was alright, it wouldn’t sound too weird. He kept telling himself he was her friend, so it was time to test if he was able to stay in the ‘friend-zone’ as his older brother so eloquently put it.

And nevertheless,
It's never you let,
The more that I give,
And the less that I get.
Don't tell me to fight,
To fight for you,
After this long, I shouldn't have to.

“(name), is something the matter?” There, he had asked her.

“Would you believe me if I told you?” she gave him a trembling smile and he saw her eyes film over with tears much like they had all that time back.

“Well, we’ll just have to find out.”

“(Boyfriend’s name) and I had quite a fight recently.” she admitted, hanging her head low.

“And?” he felt bad, asking in such a harsh tone. But wasn’t this the female best-friend’s job; Not your ex’s? He decided to add something else to soften the blow, “Everyone fights. We fought.”

He immediately regretted the last bit. Well, not really, but after the broken look that crossed (Name)’s face he did. It wasn’t her fault (it was, but that was immature of him). Still, it felt good to remind her of what she had given up for what she had now.

“I suppose everyone fights but… not in that sense.” Ludwig noticed her voice dropping an octave or two.

“Then what sort?”

“He suggested we break up.”

Now that caught him off guard. (name) and her boyfriend had been at it for over a year now. Had the pretentious- he cut his thoughts there, deciding he didn’t need to curse at the guy, he had other problems.

“I doubt he was serious about it.” He offered, finally taking a sip at the coffee he had ordered a while back, and ignored when he had seen (name).

“He looked pretty serious.” she replied, eyes low.

“Heat of the moment. Everyone says stuff they don’t really mean when they’re angry. And stuff they’ll regret.” every word he said he felt he could relate to the last time (name) had been his (not his, almost his).

“Really?” she scoffed, “The way he practically kicked me out didn’t seem like heat of the moment.”

“He kicked you out?” Ludwig’s eyebrows furrowed and his almost usual expression of annoyance set, “What was your fight about?”

“I caught him being a bit too free with the girl across from our apartment.”

“A mistake, surely.”

“They were kissing.”

~Another time-skip, hop and jump into the future (like five days)~

Ludwig had been dozing in front of his T.V., workload light that day, when he heard a loud banging on his door. He sighed, any trace of sleep vanishing as he called a reply and got to his feet groggily. Glancing at the clock, he sighed once more. It was nine o’clock. If it wasn’t the pizza guy or one of his brother’s friends, they had better have a good excuse for bothering him.

When he opened the door, he was met with a crying (name). Her eyes were blood-shot and puffy, her cheeks stained with tear marks. And her expression said it all. Heartbroken. He stood staring at her sobbing form for a minute or two before quickly ushering her in, glancing around outside before closing the door.

Setting her on his sofa, he turned the T.V. off and went to get a glass of water. She needed it. Upon returning, she was gasping a bit, almost hyperventilating. He rubbed his hand over her back awkwardly. Wasn’t this her boyfriend’s job? Well something told him it was because of said boyfriend.

“Drink this.” he mumbled, keeping his hand on her back.

Gilbert poked his head from the top of the stairs that led to his room in the basement when he heard the sound of crying. He thought it was West and quickly paused his game and scrambled up only to find (name) hunched over, face buried in her hands and Ludwig rubbing her back. Sending a worried look at the scene before him, he hesitantly returned to his room when he saw West shaking his head slowly in his direction. This wasn’t the time. West would deal with it.

“Calm down, calm down.” Ludwig cooed, trying to get her breathing regulated before he started asking any questions.

When she was able to take a sip or two, he dropped his hand and passed her a box of tissues. After blowing her nose and wiping away the tears, her breathing was down to the occasional hiccup. Now he could ask how she ended up crying on his front door.

“He dumped me.” suspicions confirmed. Not that there was any other possibility. Unless he died. But Ludwig doubted she’d go to him first if that was the case.

(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout
Through the Fallout
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout
Fallout

“I’m sorry to hear that.” this was just mean of (Name). She had dumped Ludwig, so why was she back in the same state she had left him in!?

“You must be so happy.” she smiled mirthlessly as she sniffled, “You got your wish.”

“Of course not.” Ludwig lied sternly, “Why would I wish for this?”

“I left you, Ludwig. I left you and Elizaveta told me how you were dealing with it. I’m surprised you let me in at all.” her voice was trembling but tone was firm. How right she was.

“You were crying, you are my friend and it is late at night. Anyone would have done the same.”

“You’re not anyone.” she whispered and Ludwig felt his heart throb before she continued, “You’re my ex. You were the one thing I had right in my life and I left you. I left you for some passing fancy and now I have nothing.”

“You’re being over-dramatic.” the German tried, feeling a bit cornered, “A passing fancy doesn’t last over a year.”

“I just got dumped and am an emotional wreck, of course I’m being over-dramatic!” she yelled, sending a weak glare in his direction before tears covered her eyes and she rubbed them away violently. The large German didn’t seem very phased by the outburst.

“Look. I’m not exactly the best person to be with right now. I’ll take you to Elizaveta, she’ll know what to do.” (name) nodded weakly, knowing Ludwig’s mind was set, “I’m not trying to get rid of you. I just don’t know what to do.”

~ * ~

After (name) was calm enough not to start crying at random, Ludwig called out to his brother and told him he was going to go out for a while. Elizaveta’s house wasn’t too far, so Ludwig decided a walk would do them both some good. They walked in silence for the most part, that is until (name) gathered most of her thoughts and mumbled,

“I went to Elizaveta when we broke up. She said I was an idiot for giving you up and that my relationship would only end in ruin.” Ouch, way to soften the pain of a breakup, Eliza.

“Did you believe her?”

“No. Not at first. But when I saw you again at the mart, I knew she was right. I lied about the date back then. (BF’s name) had cancelled it. Turns out he’s been doubling. Cheated from the very start.” Silence hung heavily for a while, neither sure what to say next.

“Why did you leave?” the words had left before he could stop them.

“I guess… I guess I was done waiting.” Ludwig remembered the conversation with his brother almost a lifetime ago, “Stupid, I know.”

“I was going to propose to you on the night we fought. I was a little too late, huh?” he sneaked a glance at (name). It wasn’t fair to unload right now of all times, but he had a feeling they wouldn’t talk like this again.

“I saw the box right before I left. I didn’t tell anyone.”

“I only told Brother. (name), I’m sorry for all this. I really am.”

“Why are you apologising, Ludwig? It’s my fault.” they were very close to Elizaveta’s house. Time to do what he should have done months ago.

“(name), I don’t know if I can keep doing this.” they were right outside her door now, it was time.

“Ludwig, please, not now.” he knew that (name) knew. He could see it in her eyes. And he hated himself for delivering the blow.

“I think we should stop contacting one another. I can’t do this. I still have feelings for you, but you’re too confused. If I keep pinning on you, I’m not sure what will happen.” he pulled her in for one final hug, as he bent his head down to press a soft, chaste kiss on her cheek, “I have always loved you; I think I always will.”

And with that, he pulled away and turned his back to her. Not once turning to look in her direction. He was going to go to the gym and let out all his steam. He was going to beat up the punching bags and fight in the makeshift ring until he was knocked out or couldn’t move. He was going to deal with the consequences of his immaturity by acting even more immature.

He was going to let (Name) go.

(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout

Through the Fallout
(Fallout), Fallout (fallout), fallout (fallout), fallout
Fallout...