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NekoXIchigo
— Dear 'friend'
Published:
2016-12-31 11:13:15 +0000 UTC
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Dear 🐍
Hey, we first met back in year 9, when we were in the same French class, do you remember? You didn't have many friends then since you just came. Lydia pointed you out to me, you probably didn't know that. My first impression of you without communication was: "Oh, she's a quiet, small girl." Boy, quiet? Nope. You're the opposite of that. You're even louder than me when I ge excited, and for longer too. When we were first friends you seemed to have this bubbly energy that none of us had. It was refreshing to have a personality like that. Year 10 was an easier year with us all friends. Though you bonded more with Dawn, and I with Simo - which is nothing bad. It was good to an extent. However, I think we all know that's where trouble started to brew. I knew something wasn't right with our group when we went to Rainbow's End for Big Day out. We pitifully split because you and Dawn didn't want to hang out with the guys (I recall - with Robert to be more precise?) Simo and I found that very sad, because we were friends and there was nothing wrong with Robert at all. I understand that Dawn probably wanted distance at the time from him, but from what I see reflected in present day - she holds no grudges against him. They're close friends and get along nicely. You, however, don't. From year 10 transitioning into year 11 was when I noticed the way you treated people, and how angry and condescending you became towards things. At the time, I was on your side because you were so good at making it look like you were never wrong - that's like your superpower, right? Being a hypocrite? Anyway, I couldn't see how you would blow up minuscule "problems" and in all your power you'd talk dirty and hate so passionately on specifically boys, and anyone who so happened to have a different perspective to you... Now that I think about it, I think deep down, I knew that you were just a hurt, attention and drama-seeking person but since we were friends, and your personality is so strong - I put all reason and good judgement to the side for you. I obeyed you for 3 years. I listened to all your boy problems you claimed to say they weren't boy problems, since you hated guys and "wouldn't hang out with guys" (even though you did... A LOT) because that's supposedly not normal and attention-seeking for a girl (which you loved to say that Dawn was, didn't you? You loved to preach and stick your own views onto other people, didn't you? You perfect little Catholic saint - God bless you when you realize you're stubborn and caused so much unnecessary fights and gossip - which, if you forgot, are sins, perfect little Catholic girl). I don't know who first thought about what you kept saying about Dawn, about Sam, about everyone was so biased and wrong - wait, no, actually I can think of a person... It was me... Other than your victims of course. I regretfully say that I followed your lies to a T, and listened and agreed with you for so long because of how physically and metaphorically loud you were as a person, and yeah, I thought you were smart. And I'm right. Study wise and also manipulation wise. I don't give into puppy-dog eyes, but you knew I couldn't get rid of a clingy smart "friend" like you. You knew I respected you because I would constantly say how (falsely) mature you were in situations and I wish I had the guts like you. Even though I fought with Dawn a couple of times, I truly feel it was because of your lead. I trusted your word over hers without listening and I will forever hate and be embarrassed at what it caused. So a bit is my fault. For not thinking. For not fully understanding. For only listening to your dramatic whining about how "wrong" Dawn was, or how "horrible" the guys were and how back in the Philippines was better because everyone was like you, taught like you, and thought like you (I mean, had that stubborn, narrow minded, disrespectful, judgmental view upon others and how wrong we did things). I reach 2016, year 13 and think this was the worst year alongside year 9... though, this could truly surpass what Adam and the blonde boy gang did to Dawn and 04 because we considered you a friend. We for a second thought we could mend things. We could understand the misunderstandings between us. We were willing to do everything to be your friend when YOU didn't listen to Dawn, and controlled and leashed Nathan and believed a GUY (whom you hated - for going out with Dawn, for liking Dawn, for not being logically smart(?), for throwing sand in your face). You - a friend - chose to listen to HIM, side and team up with HIM instead of your considered "best friend"? Who is a girl (which in your crooked view is meaningful, because you're actually when it comes down to it, sexist. So I'm only mentioning gender because it matters so much to you, yet you're so hypocritical in your actions, UGH). You know you wanted to split them up. Just because you - an outsider - didn't approve of their relationship. You had to play God. I will never understand what you did. I was on your side for a brief minute in 2016, so what you said, what you stabbed Dawn in the back by saying to me and Simo and convincing us to "side" with you... I still can't believe it. But back on track, when you went bat-shit crazy I was genuinely shocked. You told me so many things that conflict with how you treated my wife. You say you want an apology, you wanted her to explain herself - yet you didn't listen to it? You know how scared she was, let alone myself, to actually come up to you, because at this point, you were venomous and dangerous. You ruined our friend group ages ago, but for me, you really blew it all this year. Our last year in high school. Ah, I want to laugh like a crazy person because we did everything you told to me before, even after what you did, and it wasn't enough. Was it all a lie? We even waited for Simo to be there for the apologies, but I think you wanted moral support because you're he victim, aren't you? Because you've done nothing wrong, and it was all everyone else's fault for choosing what they want and for having free will, and not having the same narrow view as yours. That's what you want everyone to think, right? You're the "better" one. You're not as "messed up" and "sinful" as us. BUT GUESS WHAT? I mean, you should already know, bible scholar - but all sin is equal in the Lords eyes. So, why is it that you keep thinking you're better than people? That you could mess with Dawn's life so much and even make yourself so stressed to the point of violence? Can't you see you've gotten nowhere? I feel you've just gotten more evil as the days pass... Why did you "make up" with Dawn for the day of the ball? For your convenience? Because everyone was asking if something was going on between you two? It's awfully good timing in my opinion - calm down, I said it was my opinion. I'm sure the feeling is mutual, but I can't trust you. And whatever, if we all can't trust each other, I'm going to work back that trust - but that's not going to include you. I'm never going to see you again, and I don't want to. I've tried to tell myself excuses for your behaviour, saying it was how you're raised - but honestly, you still have the choice to what you say, think and do. My dad swings machetes at my mum when he's angry and disagrees with what she says, but I'm not gonna do that, am I? No, because I have common sense and I know my conscience. Why couldn't you do the same? I don't think you even asked for forgiveness from me, either. For what you did and almost did to Dawn. I don't know, but I actually really care about her, and there is meaning when I call her boob or wife or even just my friend. You violated the last crumb of trust and friendship that day. I felt awful for telling her to go to you and that we should apologize for YOUR misinterpretation and conclusion-making. I wanted to die so bad because I still believed what you said. I'm an idiot for trusting you. And now, in this fake friendship that you have with us (including the guys in our group because guess what? They don't like what you've done and said behind their backs), I hope you can see how fake it is. To the full extent how everyone is trying not to cringe a you when you still came around after all you did and treated everyone like you said nothing and did nothing bad. How you never apologized for hurting everyone. Hurting Dawn multiple times, hurting Robert many times physically and mentally, for damaging what friendship you had with Karl and Rory, and now everyone they know since they probably want people to know how dangerous you are. Yeah. You really lost a lot, and I'm sorry but we're not friends. Our Time together is over. I'm not going to listen to you anymore, and I definitely don't think you're mature or a good and understanding friend. You kept saying it a bunch during November, saying "I'm evil", "I'm mean". And I just think to myself; why didn't you tell me that before? So, whatever you're doing in 2017, please stay well away from Dawn and my friends who don't want to see you. Please stay away from me. Some people are only in your life for a short period of time to teach you lessons, and that was you for me. You taught me to not be so flimsy and make sure to fully understand a situation. Thank you for showing me what a horrible friend is, and how to better myself for 2017.
Goodbye, forever.
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