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Nevar23 — Wisdom, Sorrow Chapter 12
Published: 2008-08-24 15:10:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 2064; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 11
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Description His mind balanced on a blade for an eternity. At times, he raged against the madness that tried to claim him. Yet he also took refuge in it, in moments of weakness. In between, the Liminal was a vast, dark wilderness, bleak and empty. He wandered, lost for a time until something called to him from out of the silence. Though he did not recognize it, he was compelled to follow it, to the very edge of this strange landscape. Looking over the edge, the blackest abyss yawned before him, terrifying. He hesitated. Again he heard the call. His spirit answered. He jumped, and found the light at last.  

He stirred, his body a foreign thing. It ached heavy and dull, though his mind was somewhat alert. He groaned, bringing a hand to his head for a moment as he adjusted. His eyes took in the ceiling of the initiation chamber, slid idly over the representations of astrological beasts in the heavens. Once again, time seemed an indefinable thing. Scratching his chin, he noted the stubble. Three days worth, perhaps.

He pushed himself up to a sitting position, wincing from the pain in his shoulder, the shock of it quickly bringing back to him what had transpired. Malik! There was a stabbing feeling in his heart.

With agonized slowness he turned toward his brother's corpse, eyes downcast in a feeble rebellion of guilt. If I had not killed him, he surely would have killed me, blinded as he was. Somehow the argument seemed hollow. He forced himself to raise his eyes and bear witness to what he'd done.

His eyes widened in surprise, his jaw slack. Nothing. There was nothing. No body, no blood, anywhere apart from that on his tunic. Another illusion?! But it was so real! He looked at his hand, remembering how he tried to reverse Malik's blood loss. Yes, there were some traces of blood on his hand, but was it Malik's?

His hand went to his shoulder as he looked down at the wound in his chest. It was certainly real, but if not Malik, what caused it? His eyes scanned the floor, pinpointed a throwing knife laying a little ways away. He crawled over and retrieved it. My own. The insignia left no doubt. He turned it in his hand. There was dried blood in the ditches of the engravings. Sighing, he replaced the knife in his belt. Given that Malik was apparently never truly here, the only explanation that offered itself was that he'd stabbed himself in some fit of madness, but he had no memory of doing so. He would likely never know the answer, he realized. It would be a waste of time to dwell on it. He suddenly recalled a bit of a Buddhist text that he had read: The more you look, the more it is not there.

He turned and spotted the treasure where he remembered placing it. His mind replayed all that had happened over the past weeks and for the first time, the sense of panic and fear was absent. The events and happenings were pieces of a puzzle snapping into place, leading him to this point of clarity. And clarity it was, as if clouds had parted in his mind. Strange that he should find it now after nearly ending himself. Or maybe not. He inhaled, feeling a new resolve.

There is nothing permanent in this world. He said the words often, but only now realized that he had excluded the Brotherhood from that insight, as he had excluded the Creed from any questioning in his mind. He'd accused Malik of using the Creed as a shield, but he himself had done the very same.

It was very hard to be in the world but not of it, to know something of the nature of truth and still function amidst the delusion, lies and corruption that surrounded men. Harder still to not succumb to the illusory temptations and desire for security, structure and survival.

I needed an anchor amidst the illusion, a shield against temptation: The Creed.

The Brotherhood would fall or persist regardless of his clinging to it. The more he clung to it, the more he endangered both it and himself. He'd made his decision.   

He rose, legs somewhat shaky and weak. He waited for the dizziness to pass, staring at the small little ball of silver. The apple, the dragon. Its temptations and deceptions were timeless, obligation being the most insidious.

He drew his sword. He looked closely at it, seeing the hilt and engravings as if for the first time. The eagle in full relief, poised and ready to strike, its vision crystalline and resolve complete. It was his totem, his spirit guide. He lost it for a while in that vast wilderness when he stumbled alone in the dark.

He flourished the blade in his hand in a slow figure eight, focusing his entire being on the tip of the blade. This journey had brought him to the edge of sanity; tested him and every belief and perception he held dear.

I will not submit. Now, his vision was clear. He would continue to honor the Creed and serve the Brotherhood, but he would not be enslaved to it.

I see through the illusion, Aži. As he brought the blade over his head, the eagle called out, spread its wings and dived as the blade descended.

I will transcend.

The tip of his sword pierced the Piece of Eden, an explosion of light blinding him, burning him from the inside out.  

History unfolded before him. He saw the birth and death of gods – the stories and myths that man created to explain his struggles and yearnings, and the connections between those stories – impossible similarities in disparate cultures. And beyond the stories, the gods, the symbols… the Truth. Gnosis.

He yanked the tip of his sword out of the floor and staggered breathlessly backwards before regaining his footing. He bent to steady himself for a moment, his spirit burning still. Such revelations! He thought of taking out his journal to record it before he lost any part of what he'd seen.

Turning his head, he saw that the Piece of Eden was gone, obliterated. He raised himself and looked once more at his sword. The blade was blackened. He rubbed it with his thumb, wondering at it. The warm steel shone as new underneath the soot.

His eyes were drawn to the painting, saw a shimmering in front of it as if something were manifesting. He watched as it gathered, a being of radiant golden light.  

He struggled to find his tongue as he recognized it. Gone was the black cloak, the familiar, bittersweet countenance. "You…," he started, but the words escaped him. The only question that fully formed was the one he'd asked before. "What are you?"

"I am but one emanation of many. To the worthy, I am transcendence. To the unworthy, I am destruction. I am of the Word; that which preceded what men call God."

Awe filled his spirit. Here was the end of all questions.

"Why do you not bow?"

He thought about it. He had felt the urge to drop to his knees, but it had been fleeting. He took a breath and found his voice. "I meant no offense. I am grateful - humbled even - but on reflection, it seems misguided to prostrate myself to something that already resides in me."     

"You have done well, Altair. Take this wisdom with you into the world that mankind may benefit from it."

He watched as the light condensed into itself and finally dissolved. "I will do my utmost," he promised.


    
                                             * * *



Epilogue


How he got to his bed, he didn't know. From recent habit he braced himself in those first moments of wakefulness, braced against the misery of recalling nightmares and fear, but like a sloughed off skin it fell away, leaving a sense of wonder and peace in its wake.

He inhaled and stretched, feeling infinitely lighter and rested, for the first time since events began to unfold. He slapped the bed with a wry smile, knowing that though he'd lost many battles here, he'd won the war.

He sat up and his eyes fell on his hidden blade. He thought of the horrible vision of the Brotherhood's demise but it held no power over him, there was no panic now. He'd slain the dragon and as if by way of reward, the answer appeared. He knew what to do and felt confident in the decision. He would go and find Malik at once.

His friend stood at the edge of the Garden, looking out at the view. He was so glad to see him that he had the sudden urge to hug Malik tightly as he approached, but not wanting to alarm him, settled for a pat on the back. "Hello, brother," he greeted him.

Malik's keen eyes searched his face for clues as to his state of mind. Slowly, a half-smile appeared. "You look… rested. How do you feel?"

"Better," he replied with a smile of his own.

Malik laughed softly. "It is good to see you, Altair."

The underlying meaning of his words was not lost on him. It was good to be back. There was much he wanted to speak with Malik about, things he'd seen and experienced, and he looked forward to the conversation. For now, though, he was anxious to share his latest revolutionary idea, as Saleem would no doubt call it when he heard. "We must begin preparations to ensure the future survival of our Order."

Malik looked over at him a long while, sensing the certainty behind his words. "You have a plan as to how we will accomplish this then?"

He stared out at the mountains. He heard an eagle call from below and his eyes quickly found and followed it until it dove, disappearing from sight. "We will vanish; take the Brotherhood underground, away from the eyes of the world."

He waited, watching. The eagle reappeared, soaring upwards with prey clutched tightly in its talons.

Let the world think they were gone. Let them forget, until the Assassins became nothing more than whispered legends. Nothing is permanent in this world. Stagnation would be their downfall, which is why they would change, adapt – in silence and secrecy.

The fortresses would fall, but they were only buildings, in the end. The spirit, the vision, the purpose… these would endure. The Brotherhood would endure.   



                                                ~Fin~
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Comments: 37

Oldgamer45 [2017-04-18 02:30:09 +0000 UTC]

I enjoyed your story very much. It answered so many questions , as to why Altair could learn from the Apple,and all others succumbed to its temptations.   Thank You!!

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Nevar23 In reply to Oldgamer45 [2017-05-14 22:37:02 +0000 UTC]

Hey, thanks for the thoughtful comment and the fav! I'm really glad you enjoyed the story.

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redstrikerborg [2011-12-01 18:36:35 +0000 UTC]

that was an amazing story! so well writen that i could see every seen as if i where watching it, then reading it. i look forward to reading the rest of your fanfics and look forward to anything new you might come up with.

Again Very well done! i loved this story.

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LiOneSS-178 [2009-03-29 12:38:40 +0000 UTC]

*faints*
I might be a little late on reading this... but dammit, it's a masterpiece...

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Nevar23 In reply to LiOneSS-178 [2009-03-29 20:35:58 +0000 UTC]

*waves smelling salts* Wow, thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I thank you for the kind words.

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LiOneSS-178 In reply to Nevar23 [2009-03-30 14:27:05 +0000 UTC]

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DemoraFairy [2008-09-17 21:47:06 +0000 UTC]

Wow... just... wow... I've read a lot of stories, and few have pulled me in as much as this one. Everything thing about it was simply epic. The way it was written, I could almost feel Altair's anger. More than once I was nearly moved to tears, especially at the end of the last chapter! Thank God it was an illusion! Yay Malik is alive

I love the fact that it was Altair who would secure the Assassins' future. When he was seeing visions of the future, I was half expecting him to see Desmond, Lucy and Vidic looking into his memories, though I think if he'd have seen that he would have gone completely insane lol.

Anyway, this really is one of the best stories I've ever read. Had me glued to every word. Just epic.

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Nevar23 In reply to DemoraFairy [2008-09-17 22:38:10 +0000 UTC]

I'm grateful to hear that the story pulled you in and moved you. It makes my heart glad since this story was my ruling obsession for a long time. And yes, yay for Malik being alive! I wasn't sure he would be - eep!

I think you're right about seeing Des and company probably driving Altair over the edge. He was hanging by a thread as it was, hehe.

Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to give feedback. I appreciate it very much.

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DemoraFairy In reply to Nevar23 [2008-09-17 23:03:48 +0000 UTC]

It certainly did move me, so much in fact that I want to write one now, I used to write fanficitons a few years ago and now want to start again lol. And how could you ever consider killing Malik?! Blasphemy!

Yeah, I think Altair would have given up on all sanity had he have seen them.

No problem I want to read Ardor since I like Altair/Adha, but unfortunatly I'm a whole 2 months too young So I'll have to wait until November till I can read that.

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Nevar23 In reply to DemoraFairy [2008-09-17 23:13:53 +0000 UTC]

Yay for inspiration! I look forward to reading your stuff.

I had to kill Malik because of what he represented - namely Altair's sense of obligation toward the Brotherhood. It's awful, I know. Poor Malik's always suffering because of Altair. *guilt*

Ardor is still unfinished. Hopefully I'll have it done by November, hehe.

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enchainer [2008-09-17 03:30:34 +0000 UTC]

OMG THAT WAS EPIC! you totally had me fooled! i thought Malik really died! I cried at that part.
whew. glad he didn't! : D

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Nevar23 In reply to enchainer [2008-09-17 15:34:55 +0000 UTC]

Yay! I hope you don't think it's cruel of me to say I'm glad you were fooled. And I know what you mean. I got pretty teary-eyed over Malik and Altair's reaction when I wrote it.

Thanks for the comment and thanks for reading this monster!

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enchainer In reply to Nevar23 [2008-09-18 04:07:33 +0000 UTC]

no, ur not cruel. I know thats what you were aiming for. Which if you fool readers that means you are pretty good at writing.
malik's reaction made me choke. then when Altair held his lifeless body i finally gave in and cried.

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Nevar23 In reply to enchainer [2008-09-18 22:27:55 +0000 UTC]

Aw, thanks for the kind words. And thanks for the favs, too. I appreciate it.

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Kaytara [2008-08-28 18:56:31 +0000 UTC]

Yaaaaaaay! ^^

Way to turn that frown back around! Finishing this has given me a warm fuzzy feeling, especially after that downer of a last chapter....

So the wisdom of the Piece of Eden can only be revealed to someone who is able to let go of it, to destroy it... Someone who breaks his dependence on outside things, that illusion of hope, and is strong enough to face the future with only his own resources. Ingenious. ^^

As far as last chapters go, I felt that the epilogue was a tad too brief and could have used, say, about two more paragraphs... Say, Malik's reaction at Altair's idea, and Altair roughly explaining his conclusion, and just a short reflection on everything that's happened. Nothing elaborate to draw it out and wreck the pacing, just a few lines to make it feel complete. And THEN the final two parts about stagnation, adaptation and endurance. Then I think it'd be perfect. ^^

As far as negative feedback goes, my only complaint is that the early Kadar poison dart betrayal and murder attempt arc had felt a bit pointless due to how effortlessly it had been resolved, but that didn't bother me that much. (It just irritated the drama queen part of me that wants to milk all dramatic events for what they're worth... XD)

Anyway, kudos to you for writing such a high-quality fanfic, and double kudos for the awesome and regular updates. ^^ I have a lot of respect for someone responsible enough not to leave their readers hanging. (Which, incidentally, leaves me very little respect for myself.... It's true that we most vehemently admire the qualities that we lack. ~_~)

I think you really couldn't have ended this better... The mood of the entire story was fairly dark, so a plain happy ending wouldn't have felt right, but you managed to give the story the right amount of intense drama and heartache (Malik's "death") while still technically pulling off the happy ending. So it was very edge-of-the-chair suspenseful, but in the end gives you a fuzzy feeling because of how good everything turned out, without seeming cheesy or unrealistic.^^ The best kind of satisfying. I wish RPGs did this more often.... ~_~

Oh, and P.S. I forgot to mention this, but I really liked how Altair had berated Radi in the chapter before this... Alty didn't just smack the novice and tell him to be obedient, he told him of his own experiences in a way that takes away the rebelliousness and makes someone actually listen to you. It was exactly right, and since it takes wisdom to write a wise character, well, kudos on that. ^^

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Nevar23 In reply to Kaytara [2008-08-28 19:44:54 +0000 UTC]

I can't tell you how much I've appreciated your feedback all through this strange trip of a fic. I have mad respect for you for taking the time to offer it. You inspire me when I leave feedback for others.

I'm ashamed to admit it, but the Abbas/poison dart thing was just because I really disliked him and wanted an excuse for Altair to kill him.

The epilogue... on reflection I can see your point. I wanted an "open" feeling to it, for that conversation to be implied (taking place after the credits, hehe) rather than laid out. Gah. I wish I could explain it better.

I am *so* glad you mentioned the Radi episode. You're the first one to do so. That is exactly what I was trying to accomplish with it. He still scared the bejeezus out of him, but followed it with sincere counsel. I imagined that he tried to think of something that would have made an impression on he himself in his younger days and tried to shape his actions and words accordingly.

Thanks again, my dear St. Kaytara!

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Kaytara In reply to Nevar23 [2008-08-30 12:01:55 +0000 UTC]

Heh, you're welcome. ^^

You just wanted to get rid of Abbas? That DOES make sense. XD

I do realise that the ending is meant to be an open one, which is why I said that I would think it perfect if you added a bit. ^^ It's still fine as it is, it's just my own preference to have things wrapped up. Maybe it's even more habit than preference.

Anyway, cheers! ^^

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aquila17ly [2008-08-27 11:12:26 +0000 UTC]

truly amazing story!!! i LOVE it!!

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Nevar23 In reply to aquila17ly [2008-08-27 14:18:12 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story.

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Emerald-jewel [2008-08-26 00:02:33 +0000 UTC]

This whole thing was epic. I loved the resolution; the perfect explanation for the mysteries surrounding the Piece of Eden. It reminds us what the game was about in the first place. I'd say 'nothing is true, everything is permitted,' but we've all heard that one already. Really, all religions and creeds in the world are true, and this story does a wonderful job at combining all the myths into what our assassins were trying to accomplish to begin with. I'd love to say more, but I'm also kind of speechless. Malik's alive!! See, I knew it all along! xP

What remains now, if you're willing to tackle it, are the other locations of the other treasures. Both Altair and Malik were present when the Piece showed it. I'm sure whoever inherited the boss-job at the Templar club is probably hanging around to give our boys some more hell to deal with.

Speaking of which, here's some real-world news I found was a bit related to AC. It's more amusing really: there's a group presently trying to sue the Catholic Church, claiming that they are the heirs to the Knights Templar. I believe the amount was 500 billion dollars, to make up for the lost lands, properties and power they lost when Pope Clement V absolved the Knights in the 1300's on charges of heresy and even devil/occult worship. Of course, the Church isn't taking them seriously because they can't really prove that they're descended from the Templar, but still, interesting nonetheless. Would probably make for a good AC story.

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Nevar23 In reply to Emerald-jewel [2008-08-26 00:36:05 +0000 UTC]

Oh, the other strange lights... indeed. I went back and forth on whether to address them in this story, but ultimately decided not to. I definitely plan more stories (I'm not obsessed, really!) so there's certainly room to explore them there and it is awfully tempting. Heh.

I'm glad you liked my take on the PoE. And the epilogue... I wanted to reconcile the historical fall of the Assassins with the future of the Brotherhood. I mean they have to survive, or else what is Desmond gonna do, mix drinks fer chrissakes? XD

Yay, Malik's alive! Phew!

That is a neat news tidbit. That would make a good story. So what are ya waiting for? Thanks so much for the feedback. It really makes my heart glad.

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Emerald-jewel In reply to Nevar23 [2008-08-26 01:39:30 +0000 UTC]

You're very welcome!

Yeah, Desmond isn't going to do much to support the cause if he's stuck behind the bar at Chilli's. xD It made perfect sense for Altair to suggest that they go underground, therefore proving how the Assassins survived to 2012.

Hmm... maybe I can relate this whole "Templar's sueing the Church" thing to how Abstergo becomes a huge powerful corporation in the first place. Perhaps they do manage to provide evidence that they're the heirs, and the Church has no choice but to consent to the law suit... that's all as of 2008 of course. The years following described in Vidic's and Lucy's emails can be a direct or indirect result of the law suit. *quickly grabs notebook*

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Nevar23 In reply to Emerald-jewel [2008-08-26 01:48:39 +0000 UTC]

Ooo... so it begins! I'm interested already. Hurry up and finish it, hee hee!

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elevenplus [2008-08-25 18:28:59 +0000 UTC]

wow, I love the ending.

Though I was confuse what was going on in the fight between Malik and Altair. (sorry I should put this comment on the chapter before).
But your comments explained the story.

I'm glad that Malik is still alive
There's no way I could match this.

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Nevar23 In reply to elevenplus [2008-08-25 18:46:43 +0000 UTC]

Sorry if that was a bit confusing. On the surface, Malik was enthralled by the PoE, his sense of obligation toward the Brotherhood and his insecurities twisting into a perverted thing. He knew Altair would never go along with his plans, that he would recognize that he had fallen, so he tried to kill him.

From a symbolic point of view, at that point Malik is the dragon and represents Altair's own sense of obligation, his temptation to forsake his own spirit out of a sense of duty.

Hope that helps clear it up a bit, but if not feel free to ask about it. Thanks so much for commenting!

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elevenplus In reply to Nevar23 [2008-08-25 19:01:58 +0000 UTC]

Ah! Thank you for explaining it for me. That definitely clears things up a lot. I though that I misread the story. But I reading it from a different view point.

I was never good at connecting the story with mythology of things

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Nevar23 In reply to elevenplus [2008-08-25 19:44:29 +0000 UTC]

Glad it helped.

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altair-creed [2008-08-25 01:20:17 +0000 UTC]

nevar, i have no words for this. you are beyond genius -- you are a Master, weaving amazing myths and philosophy together. i bow before you with respect.

we must question everything -- that is what the Creed advises to do. and Altair does it: he even questions the Creed to free himself from its limitations. it is not an easy choice to erase oneself from history into the realm of legend. the mental fortitude needed for that is beyond mere mortal men. one has to be extraordinarily charismatic and resolute like adamant to carry it through.

i thank you for this tale, nevar. i've never read anything to match this

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Nevar23 In reply to altair-creed [2008-08-25 02:49:10 +0000 UTC]

You do me great honor. It makes me feel immensely gratified to know that my convoluted little tale was understood and appreciated. Other than that, I don't even know what to say, except thank you. *bows gratefully*

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altair-creed In reply to Nevar23 [2008-08-25 10:34:13 +0000 UTC]

i've read mythology and know something of gnosticism having immersed myself in religious studies at times. i read too much *shakes head*

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Nevar23 In reply to altair-creed [2008-08-25 13:56:32 +0000 UTC]

No such thing as reading too much, in my book. <---- Overly obvious pun groan in 3...2...1 *groan*

There are definitely Gnostic ideas woven into the story.

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altair-creed In reply to Nevar23 [2008-08-25 15:08:33 +0000 UTC]

pun understood. clear as daylight.

now i have to better myself and write about nizari ideas in a story context

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Sera22 [2008-08-24 18:53:42 +0000 UTC]

I am impressed. As always I like the end of your story, happy to see it has developed to a kind of "happy end". I really feared for dear Malik's life...
I look up to you and your background knowledge about the whole mythology and initiation context.

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Nevar23 In reply to Sera22 [2008-08-24 21:33:50 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much! I feared for poor Malik as well, before it revealed itself to be an illusion.

I appreciate the feedback!

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TaergaLive [2008-08-24 15:38:12 +0000 UTC]

That was AWESOME! Yes, mythology is the best, no?

And I was so happy to find out that I was right; it wasn't Malik that attacked him

Truly a masterpiece of epicness.

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Nevar23 In reply to TaergaLive [2008-08-24 16:05:44 +0000 UTC]

It is the best, definitely.

A masterpiece of epicness... Thank you so much, dear. It was aggravating at times, but I enjoyed writing it for the most part. I appreciate the feedback.

Thanks for the fav, too!

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TaergaLive In reply to Nevar23 [2008-08-24 17:54:09 +0000 UTC]

You are quite welcome.

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