aDORK-able [2008-10-06 02:39:18 +0000 UTC]
I thin this piece resonates well. I like it. The only line that seems to detract from the overall poem is "(guilt)." I think that the removal of this line would help to maintain the scantion and would get rid of the disruption of flow.Just my opinion though...
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Nevryst In reply to aDORK-able [2008-10-06 02:41:21 +0000 UTC]
Thanks. Yes, it does interrupt the flow. That was purposeful but I see it's a bit jarring.
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