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Niathefreak — blood moon part 2 :D by-nc-sa [NSFW]
Published: 2011-05-23 00:01:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 183; Favourites: 5; Downloads: 0
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Description part 2 of blood moon

  As the city slowly goes to sleep I am growing weaker and weaker. The weaker I get

the higher the moon rises. That can only mean a few things,that this blood moon is

the strongest this year or something is draining the energy right out of me!
  I stop and sniff the air, but I dont smell  a thing I don`t know what is going

on, I can always smell something, right now I wish I can smell the sweet smell of

human flesh.
  This makes no sence at all!
  Then out of the mist of no were there he was, the one that had made me into what

I am, my leader the one i will never forgive or forget!
  What are you doing here Tim?
  Why only to see my own flesh and blood is all,is that a crime now?
  You shear as hell know that I do not want to see you, I left you because you

turned me into a...a monster!
  I only did it to save you my dear.
  No you only did it for your own faith, just to keep your self going because all

your other monsters left you and you started to get weakend by it.
  And for you taking me away from my family I should kill you right in the spot

you stand!
  Now why would you want to do that? I gave you everything you needed.
  No you gave me the things I needed to survive, not the things that ment the

world to me and now they are all dead because of you because I was not there to

help them because I have been like this for over 200 years, because you only gave

a damn about your self and I hate you the most you killed them so I could not say

no into coming with you, so you see when I get what I need I will come back and I

will kill you, so if you will excuse me I have to kill to get what I need because

of you!
  No if you want to to kill me you will have to do it here and now because  I will

not let you go!
  You just know I will kick your ass when I am strong don`t you? Plus what you

dont know about me is that over the years I have gotton to be a lot stronger than

you have, and I have seen what you can do. You see you put way to much of you into

me. You know what I am talking about right father? Of course not, what I am trying

to say to you is that I can still kill you in this state, and if I want to I can

fly out of here so it is your choice we can fight now or we can what. I really

don`t care?
  I will let you go.
  Wise choice father hahaha!
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Comments: 95

Niathefreak In reply to ??? [2011-07-18 20:26:48 +0000 UTC]

well at least its getting better but it will be fixed and changed and ya i will keep wrighting

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AntifascistLilitu In reply to Niathefreak [2011-07-21 16:57:16 +0000 UTC]

Yeah.

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Niathefreak In reply to AntifascistLilitu [2011-07-25 04:00:31 +0000 UTC]

kk

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LVeraWrites [2011-06-08 13:00:07 +0000 UTC]

Spelled "sense" wrong. The formatting needs a little improvement but I do like the way it's more like a poem. This story seems more like someone talking to himself and would probably benefit from having a third person narration. Once again I think it's definitely has potential and overall I can see you getting better. I recommend reading and writing all the time. The only way you get better is by doing it a lot. "Never stop reading"

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Niathefreak In reply to LVeraWrites [2011-06-08 19:08:12 +0000 UTC]

ya sorry not all of it was cought i will have tooo go back and fix all that thanxs

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roseweasly101 [2011-06-05 01:52:57 +0000 UTC]

i luv this!! <3

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Niathefreak In reply to roseweasly101 [2011-06-05 02:01:36 +0000 UTC]

now u have to read 3 and thanxs

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roseweasly101 In reply to Niathefreak [2011-06-05 02:02:30 +0000 UTC]

welcome

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Niathefreak In reply to roseweasly101 [2011-06-05 02:04:13 +0000 UTC]

kk

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roseweasly101 In reply to Niathefreak [2011-06-05 02:04:51 +0000 UTC]

kkkkkkkkk

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Niathefreak In reply to roseweasly101 [2011-06-05 02:08:57 +0000 UTC]

u weird

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roseweasly101 In reply to Niathefreak [2011-06-05 02:14:57 +0000 UTC]

u just figured this out?

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Niathefreak In reply to roseweasly101 [2011-06-05 02:17:54 +0000 UTC]

no

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roseweasly101 In reply to Niathefreak [2011-06-05 02:20:00 +0000 UTC]

i was about to say

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Niathefreak In reply to roseweasly101 [2011-06-05 02:22:54 +0000 UTC]

lol ok

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roseweasly101 In reply to Niathefreak [2011-06-05 02:25:31 +0000 UTC]

lol

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Niathefreak In reply to roseweasly101 [2011-06-05 02:28:36 +0000 UTC]

i no

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roseweasly101 In reply to Niathefreak [2011-06-05 02:30:32 +0000 UTC]

lol

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Niathefreak In reply to roseweasly101 [2011-06-05 02:32:16 +0000 UTC]

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roseweasly101 In reply to Niathefreak [2011-06-05 02:35:48 +0000 UTC]

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Niathefreak In reply to roseweasly101 [2011-06-05 02:39:22 +0000 UTC]

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AntifascistLilitu [2011-05-23 15:12:07 +0000 UTC]

"epic" (kellybell226 said) is too much in my opionion but at least your texts are becoming better. it is a lot more interesting than part 1. it is more creative, you know. but it's for example not really clear who "you" is. But any way it could be that you'll mention later.
Still, practise writing and you'll get better - as you can see on my work (I hope) if you compare with stuff I wrote 3 years ago.

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Niathefreak In reply to AntifascistLilitu [2011-05-23 22:33:53 +0000 UTC]

yeps i am trying thanks i no practise makes perfickt

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AntifascistLilitu In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-24 13:48:17 +0000 UTC]

yep. and no problem.

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Niathefreak In reply to AntifascistLilitu [2011-05-24 13:59:32 +0000 UTC]

kk

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StarFire9819 [2011-05-23 08:50:38 +0000 UTC]

EPIC STUFF!!!!

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Niathefreak In reply to StarFire9819 [2011-05-23 13:59:08 +0000 UTC]

lol thanxs

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StarFire9819 In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-24 06:05:03 +0000 UTC]

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Niathefreak In reply to StarFire9819 [2011-05-24 13:47:08 +0000 UTC]

lol

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MichiKitten [2011-05-23 00:30:00 +0000 UTC]

your welcome ^^ its such an awesome story!!!

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Niathefreak In reply to MichiKitten [2011-05-23 00:31:38 +0000 UTC]

lol i told u u were going to get creadit lol and thanxs for the fav on it

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MichiKitten In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-23 00:50:58 +0000 UTC]

:3 no problem ^^

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Niathefreak In reply to MichiKitten [2011-05-23 00:54:04 +0000 UTC]

kk did u read part 3??

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MichiKitten In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-23 04:05:55 +0000 UTC]

yea, it was awesome!!!!

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Niathefreak In reply to MichiKitten [2011-05-23 14:02:13 +0000 UTC]

yay thanxs

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MichiKitten In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-23 14:14:19 +0000 UTC]

:3 no problem ^^

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Niathefreak In reply to MichiKitten [2011-05-23 14:18:27 +0000 UTC]

kk

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MichiKitten In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-23 14:18:59 +0000 UTC]

:3

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Niathefreak In reply to MichiKitten [2011-05-23 22:41:19 +0000 UTC]

lol sooo what u up to?

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MichiKitten In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-24 00:42:08 +0000 UTC]

nutton much you?

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Niathefreak In reply to MichiKitten [2011-05-24 01:17:06 +0000 UTC]

nothing a little sad but ok

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MichiKitten In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-24 11:07:21 +0000 UTC]

aww *huggz

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Niathefreak In reply to MichiKitten [2011-05-24 13:50:42 +0000 UTC]

yeps i am thinking of getting a restraning order agenst 2 ppl

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MichiKitten In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-24 17:26:58 +0000 UTC]

lol awesome xD

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Niathefreak In reply to MichiKitten [2011-05-25 01:31:36 +0000 UTC]

well it is true i need one

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MichiKitten In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-25 03:30:15 +0000 UTC]

.3.

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Niathefreak In reply to MichiKitten [2011-05-25 03:33:03 +0000 UTC]

ya my parents r really thinking about it toooo ooooo and i am still testing and what for it
i may be getting a year book yay

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MichiKitten In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-25 03:37:01 +0000 UTC]

.o. lol yayzers x3

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Niathefreak In reply to MichiKitten [2011-05-25 03:42:38 +0000 UTC]

yeps lol ps i like your icon lol mine sooo boring lol

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MichiKitten In reply to Niathefreak [2011-05-25 03:44:32 +0000 UTC]

lol xD thanks i like yours ^^

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