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nicaea — hold my hand

Published: 2004-03-27 04:50:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 140; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 22
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Description it's ok, i have two
take one while we make our quick strides alone
"bread and butter" never said
the same door, the same side, no letting go
you're so funny!
apathetic of the pathetic things hiding behind that smile
and needless to say i look like the needy dope
foolishly acting a shameless, shameful fool
affected in an overt manner liable of your laugh's effects
while you take your sweet time
and i taste the bitter tastes of substitution

it's ok, i have two
take one while i use the other to light my cigarette
as if i wasn't inhaling enough of your shit already
i could at least for an instant
be intoxicated by the toxins,
depressed by the depressants,
relaxed by the relaxants,
suppressed by the suppressants,
and forget the unforgettable instantaneous instants
each time you've left me...
"bread and butter", i have two.
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Comments: 7

pinxworld [2004-09-07 12:06:37 +0000 UTC]

i really liked this

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nicaea In reply to pinxworld [2004-11-03 07:35:49 +0000 UTC]

thanks!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

spiralout4 [2004-03-27 09:16:41 +0000 UTC]

Now we've delved into the realm of metaphor...my realm...from precise meaning to a more shaded thought...getting ur point across but painting a more "off the wall" picture with ur use of metaphoric adjectives...one of my favorite tools...keep at it...expand like hot air...until you fill our ears and eyes with your life...to let us know that we are not alone...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nicaea In reply to spiralout4 [2004-03-28 21:58:46 +0000 UTC]

hot air...eh?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

spiralout4 In reply to nicaea [2004-03-29 06:53:44 +0000 UTC]

no...but if thats how u take it then i have no say in the matter...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nicaea In reply to spiralout4 [2004-03-29 16:55:29 +0000 UTC]

could you please explain?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Verbose-Rhetoric [2004-03-27 05:25:52 +0000 UTC]

experiemental, but very interesting
this piece is a whole new style..
remember the question that you asked..
"so if I were to give you say...10 poems you could pick out my three from the others easily?"
and I said I seriously doubted I could...
this is a prime example of your range as a writer
never sticking to a set design and still making it both interesting...entertaining..and clear for the reader.
I would not be the judge of this piece..I cant state if it is done or not..
only you can do that.. if you add more..I really look forward to it..
very nice piece so far..coversational..


by all means..
great flow.. and again..very nice use of words..wrapping and movement..

👍: 0 ⏩: 0