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Description

"I dance on many blank canvases for so long...
and my existences disappeared in every stroke I've made...
till they were only just fragments, scattered into the deep sea of my mind...
unwanted... unrecalled...

when the world is just a game of words nowadays...
they started to search for their own promised land...
it is so easy to feel joy in such a non-exist time and place...
and for you... who isolated me into this world...
you left me with nothing but something that I've had to pay to see it... to feel it...
and it's not cheap...
I have to sacrifice everything I've got to feel it...
even my own existences... to its very core...

as time goes by... as I hesitated to look after you...
the world is still the same... same prejudice...
same assumption... same ignorance...
you kept your distance from me... but you never let me go...
you're still standing there... always waiting...
oh hesitation hesitation... why do you even subsist...?
it was such a drug I couldn't get rid of...

I didn't expect forgiveness...
I didn't expect acknowledgement...
I didn't expect trust...
I didn't even expect my own sanity...
all I ever wanted was an ability to break through...
a strength that I never had before... a courage...
a desire to feel...
a faith that I can get through this illusion of life...

and then once again I see you... this time I don't see a smile on you...
but somehow I can feel your happiness inside my heart...
perhaps it's another trick that you've played to me...
perhaps it's just another ethereal emotion inside...
perhaps you knew that deep down inside... I finally have that strength...
perhaps you knew that your long waiting is gonna end soon...
perhaps you knew that I will embrace you once again... and for the last time...

now I'm ready... I don't even have to sacrifice anything...
my final destination... my freedom... to you... I'm yours...
and it's not the end... it's just another beginning..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Colored pencils and graphite on moleskine sketchbook.

Model: Sian K by Julia Trotti (vampire-zombie )

Description

"I dance on many blank canvases for so long...
and my existences disappeared in every stroke I've made...
till they were only just fragments, scattered into the deep sea of my mind...
unwanted... unrecalled...

when the world is just a game of words nowadays...
they started to search for their own promised land...
it is so easy to feel joy in such a non-exist time and place...
and for you... who isolated me into this world...
you left me with nothing but something that I've had to pay to see it... to feel it...
and it's not cheap...
I have to sacrifice everything I've got to feel it...
even my own existences... to its very core...

as time goes by... as I hesitated to look after you...
the world is still the same... same prejudice...
same assumption... same ignorance...
you kept your distance from me... but you never let me go...
you're still standing there... always waiting...
oh hesitation hesitation... why do you even subsist...?
it was such a drug I couldn't get rid of...

I didn't expect forgiveness...
I didn't expect acknowledgement...
I didn't expect trust...
I didn't even expect my own sanity...
all I ever wanted was an ability to break through...
a strength that I never had before... a courage...
a desire to feel...
a faith that I can get through this illusion of life...

and then once again I see you... this time I don't see a smile on you...
but somehow I can feel your happiness inside my heart...
perhaps it's another trick that you've played to me...
perhaps it's just another ethereal emotion inside...
perhaps you knew that deep down inside... I finally have that strength...
perhaps you knew that your long waiting is gonna end soon...
perhaps you knew that I will embrace you once again... and for the last time...

now I'm ready... I don't even have to sacrifice anything...
my final destination... my freedom... to you... I'm yours...
and it's not the end... it's just another beginning..."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Colored pencils and graphite on moleskine sketchbook.

Model: Sian K by Julia Trotti (vampire-zombie )