HOME | DD

nikazumi — Suicidal
Published: 2007-05-09 04:26:38 +0000 UTC; Views: 148; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 1
Redirect to original
Description There I am...sleeping
Forever to stay there in that casket
I see myself lying there...motionless
Emotionless...
Wondering...
There's less people from school here today
than there were for him.
Maybe thats why I did what I did...
I'm not well known like he was...
How can I look at myself and see someone beautiful?
How can I face the Lord in Heaven after what I did?
I cant...so I wont...
I'm not going...I'll stay here in the church.
I'll watch people come and go...
Cry and leave...
Cry and leave...
I didn't die a magnificent death...
I didn't go in a beautiful way...
My eyes are sewn shut
And my hair is pulled up so no one can see....
It...
The hole in my head...
Will the miss me?
Do they miss me already?
I doubt they do...
I was only a burden...
Oh well...they dont have to worry anymore...
Related content
Comments: 48

tsuna-demon [2007-05-09 23:48:45 +0000 UTC]

You have NO idea how much this scared me!!!! This was JUST like that dream ya butt!!!!! I love you Brittany!!!!!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to tsuna-demon [2007-05-10 21:42:37 +0000 UTC]

Oh, I'm sorry!!!!! I love you!!! I didnt mean to scare you....I'm sorry!!!!!!!! I see you added it as a favorite though...so it musta been good...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

tsuna-demon In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-12 19:37:22 +0000 UTC]

it was but that's not the point... the point is It took me 10 minutes staring at the title to convince myself to open it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to tsuna-demon [2007-06-16 01:44:02 +0000 UTC]

I'M SORRY!!!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Aquira-chan [2007-05-09 13:38:42 +0000 UTC]

Hey, I know what this poem is about...and I'm sorry you and everyone have had to deal with all those deaths this year...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to Aquira-chan [2007-05-09 23:11:27 +0000 UTC]

I know what this poem is about too, just another thing we have in common And you dont have to be sorry, you didn't kill them...did you?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aquira-chan In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-10 22:40:14 +0000 UTC]

Gah! Omg..no. All I meant was I'm sorry that they died and made everyone all depresseded...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to Aquira-chan [2007-05-11 01:34:19 +0000 UTC]

Okies ^.^ I wasn't accusing you off killing them anyway. Its still okay...and its still not your fault.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aquira-chan In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-11 05:04:24 +0000 UTC]

yah i know. It's just that when ppl die and everyone's all depressed there's nothing else to say but 'sorry' really even tho it's not ur fault.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to Aquira-chan [2007-05-12 03:57:48 +0000 UTC]

I know but if its not your fault and you didn't do anything, you really should be sorry. You can feel sorry for them I suppose, but I would personally much rather have a hug than a whole bunch of words that dont really go along with the situation.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aquira-chan In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-12 04:45:57 +0000 UTC]

Well, I can't really see you irl so i'll give you a virtual hug. and a cookie

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

lil-kit [2007-05-09 05:27:09 +0000 UTC]

wow this type of thing brings back memories...im glad im not like that anymore..that sucked...oh well happier times ^_^ nice poem btw sis

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to lil-kit [2007-05-09 23:10:28 +0000 UTC]

I know, me too. I'm happy you're not like that anymore too, big brother

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lil-kit In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-11 05:51:15 +0000 UTC]

thankies lil sister

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to lil-kit [2007-05-12 03:59:08 +0000 UTC]

of course, if all those people i hold dear (including you) were depressed I'd be all sad too...its just a natural thing...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

lil-kit In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-12 05:26:41 +0000 UTC]

yep yep yep i suppose so

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

VioletRosePetals [2007-05-09 04:30:36 +0000 UTC]

Creepy...I kinda know how that feels though, I had thought the whole, "Will anyone miss me when I'm gone?" thing...but I always told myself that tomorrow was a new day, however crapy it might turn out...is this really what goes through the minds of suicide victims before they pull the trigger?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to VioletRosePetals [2007-05-09 04:39:40 +0000 UTC]

See, I dont know, as I said, I'm not suicidal. I think that everyone every-once-in-a-while thinks about that kinda stuff its just to what extent are they thinking it and will they ever pull it off. I agree, every day is a new day and whether it turns out good or bad we'll just have to see but I do believe that nothing is worth killing yourself. There's a whole life just waiting to be lived and I personally can't wait to get out there and do it.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VioletRosePetals In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-09 04:43:17 +0000 UTC]

I totaly agree! I was just saying I went through a 'who will miss me' phase back in my first couple years of high school. I think everyone gets a little confused durring that time. But now I'm living my life to the fullest and I'm totaly glad I'm here to live it !

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to VioletRosePetals [2007-05-09 04:52:16 +0000 UTC]

Really? I'm nearing the end of my sophomore year in high school and this year has been completely terrible with the suicide just a few weeks ago and 'his' death at the beginning of the year, my parents divorce, and everyone being all mopey, its all been really bad. And for a while I was going through that same thing, 'who will miss me, nobody because blahdy blah...' but I realized that even if they dont miss me, I will because I like me for the most part and I'm glad I'm here. I'm so happy to have met you, you seem so nice...really cool too.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VioletRosePetals In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-09 08:53:49 +0000 UTC]

Thanks You seem like a decent person yourself

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to VioletRosePetals [2007-05-09 23:09:27 +0000 UTC]

Aww, yay, a new friend ^_^

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VioletRosePetals In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-10 02:54:22 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kellisart [2007-05-09 04:30:01 +0000 UTC]

I'm sorry, but little suicide notes like this are a dime a dozen on this site...and comparison to some boy? At school or something? Sorry, but it's just a BIT too melodramatic...

Go see a shrink.

👍: 0 ⏩: 3

Aquira-chan In reply to kellisart [2007-05-09 13:35:29 +0000 UTC]

wow..apparently you don't know how to read a poem...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to Aquira-chan [2007-05-09 23:15:06 +0000 UTC]

Oh well, leave it be.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aquira-chan In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-10 22:41:09 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to Aquira-chan [2007-05-11 01:33:31 +0000 UTC]

Hehe, oh, quote time: "Everyone has a right to be stupid, some just abuse the privilege."--Unknown

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aquira-chan In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-11 05:03:43 +0000 UTC]

Lol.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to Aquira-chan [2007-05-12 04:05:42 +0000 UTC]

Whats with the sweat drop sis?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aquira-chan In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-12 04:46:16 +0000 UTC]

i have no idea....

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

nikazumi In reply to kellisart [2007-05-09 04:47:02 +0000 UTC]

Okay, first off, I'm not suicidal, read the author's note every once in a while, okay? If I were suicidal, I wouldn't be writing a suicidal poem on DA and I'd be dead by now, actually I would have been dead years ago. I appreciate your criticism but dont tell me to go see a shrink when I'm not even suicidal. And if suicide notes are a dime and a dozen around DA, why did you chose to read mine? What made my 'suicidal note' so particular that you just had to read it? You dont even know the whole story behind it so dont tell me its too melodramatic when you hardly even know.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

VioletRosePetals In reply to kellisart [2007-05-09 04:31:15 +0000 UTC]

Did you even bother to read the artist's comments?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to VioletRosePetals [2007-05-09 04:47:14 +0000 UTC]

Thank you...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VioletRosePetals In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-09 09:00:17 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome. I can't stand people that tear others down for their ideas or views on anything, especially in a case like this, where the person doesnt bother to look at all the facts before he/she speaks. And even if the didnt read your comments, its one thing for someone to say, "I dont agree, I believe there's plently to be happy about in life and I dont understand why people commit suicide" rather than what that guy said. Oh well, you cant change people, but you can ignore them.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to VioletRosePetals [2007-05-09 23:14:55 +0000 UTC]

Yes and ignoring I shall do ^.^ And again, thank you, I appreciate your criticism and your helpfulness very much.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VioletRosePetals In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-10 02:56:36 +0000 UTC]

You're very welcome Glad to have been a help

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to VioletRosePetals [2007-05-10 21:44:02 +0000 UTC]

You have like....200 smilies in your comment above t his one (I know its not really 200, I exagerate a lot... ^_^)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VioletRosePetals In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-10 22:15:39 +0000 UTC]

And I smile alot, sometimes for no reason. I guess I'm just a very happy person. Ask aelthwyn [link] , she knows me very well lol.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to VioletRosePetals [2007-05-11 01:35:52 +0000 UTC]

Ooo hard to pronounce the name And I'll get right on asking her that...*mutters* Someday... *starts procrastinating...*

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

VioletRosePetals In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-11 06:57:18 +0000 UTC]

lol...yeah...I've never tried to pronounce her name...never thought to ask how...lol I've always thought of it as a-EL-thwin(with a long a)..but I dunno.....

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to VioletRosePetals [2007-05-12 04:05:11 +0000 UTC]

Me neither...hm...so, you like cookies? *Averts to a different subject with a random begining*

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

VioletRosePetals In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-12 04:32:39 +0000 UTC]

Oh and that reminds me..I have cookies...*goes and gets them*

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

VioletRosePetals In reply to nikazumi [2007-05-12 04:32:22 +0000 UTC]

Yes! But because of a friends signature on DA, I've been having a craving for cup cakes...I went to the store today and being me totaly forgot to get any! I had a preconcieved list in my head and I only got what was on it...thing is I walked right past the cup cakes too...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

oscarX [2007-05-09 04:29:46 +0000 UTC]

i like it

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to oscarX [2007-05-09 04:36:01 +0000 UTC]

Thanks ^-^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

jazmen [2007-05-09 04:28:46 +0000 UTC]

that's really sad

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

nikazumi In reply to jazmen [2007-05-09 04:35:50 +0000 UTC]

It was kinda supposed to be but thank you... ^-^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0