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noblesamurai — Violence isn't always the answer.....
Published: 2012-06-07 02:02:34 +0000 UTC; Views: 53; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description   A man with long brown hair, that was braided into a tail going down his back, was walking through the kingdom of Sora. He wore robes of a priest, and a straw hat over his head. He sighed sadly.

  "Why must we always fight that's not always the answer" he thought. The people were all scarred cause they heard the horsemen were making their way to their kingdom. He knew it was true, but he hoped they could reason with these,so called monsters. Many called him mad, and a fool. He was a man of religion though, so he was very much against violence. He knew how to defend himself secretly, but only ever did it once before.

  "I wonder if they can be reasoned with" he thought. Just then though he felt a weird sensation, and was teleported somewhere.

  "What" he said.

  "Calm yourself young priest we simply have something for you" a deep voice said. He looked around frantically, he was in a room....that was very nice looking, it had crystal, and a lot of other fine things, he realized he was in the chapel.

  "Wait....are you the gods" he asked in surprise.

  "Heh well he caught on rather fast" a cocky voice said.

  "Quiet Ares" a female voice said. The young priest was awestruck that he was actually talking to the gods.

  "Now we are aware of your problem, so we've decided to choose four of you mortals to become the protecters of your home, we want you to be the first one, from this day forth you shall be known as Peace" the deep voice said again.

  "I...would be honored beyond belief to accept-" he was cut off by a bright light shinning, and he closed his eyes since he couldn't see. He felt himself fall out cold. It was some time later, when he awoke. He lifted himself from the floor, and gasped. The floor was, so clean, he could see his reflection, and he was changed. His clothes were all now a dark blue color, and he had leather armor on his arms, and legs, and his hair, had turned a blue/purple color, and his eyes were a dark shade of blue now. He looked to his right, and saw a snow colored staff. He picked it up, and examined it, a fine weapon, but.....

  "Violence isn't always the answer....sometimes though it appears you have no choice though" he said.
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Comments: 2

OneObstacle [2012-06-07 02:06:18 +0000 UTC]

I'd like to see where you are going with this. It is an interesting story, but I do have some pointers.

Punctuation and spelling would make the story more fluid and easier to comprehend. For instance, it took me a few reads of "The people were all scarred cause they heard..." to realize it was scared. Other than that, trying some bigger descriptive words and keep up the good work!

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noblesamurai In reply to OneObstacle [2012-06-07 02:26:14 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for that. Sorry I know my grammar isn't the best, but i'm doing what I can.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0