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PROPOSED ISSUE OF “X QUALITY CUTS”

NEWSLETTER LEAD IN: We have so much to offer this issue, fellow enthusiasts. We hope you’ve the stones for it!

EDITORIAL (sample): An example must be made. The disturbing trend amongst naysayers is the proliferation of the vicious rumor we, the gaming industry as a whole, are occasionally slipping inferior animal products into our wholesale packages. I can assure the buying public this is vehemently prohibited and clearly a fiction devised by the Humarians to further their own political agendas.

LETTERS FROM SUBSCRIBERS (sample): The Meat Machines are being praised in many neophyte arenas, exhibiting paramount efficiency and surpassing the technical aptitude of several hundred traditional butchers, however unsporting it may appear to the hobbyists and purists among us- those of us who can truly appreciate the art of the cut.

ADVERTISEMENT: Spring lifestyle finds the volunteers cavorting about the campus yards, enjoying a great many daylight activities whole families can enjoy. Nothing too strenuous, heavens no! We certainly don’t want a tough, overworked volunteer come collection time. Instead, we offer a wide variety of light activities, everything from wading in one of our campus tenderizing ponds to our ever-popular Additive Spout Suckling competition.

GAMING NEWS (sample): Ms A. Britney, of local renown, did not compete this session, having been diagnosed with the dripping brain. Examples of her outlandish equipment designs, most notably her signature “9-ball grinder” can be seen on permanent display at the Jed Yargo Museum of Noteworthy Achievements.

ADVERTISEMENT: We always clamor to bring you “ the good stuff” and that’s why we added more red juice #4-Sequence 33 to every package of Pretty Big Hungry Loin Cubes.

ADVERTISEMENT: We’ve more slaughters by each and every Friday than most traditional gaming yards’ per year capita, thanks to Fashion Food’s Meat Machines, including the Seahorse line, voted “#1 Rendering and Separating Automaton” by Strip Red magazine.

COMIC STRIPS (sample): Little Sister, we brought you Mom, Big Sister and dear old Dad as chops and puddings. I know one girl who won’t be going hungry this winter!

Description
PROPOSED ISSUE OF “X QUALITY CUTS”

NEWSLETTER LEAD IN: We have so much to offer this issue, fellow enthusiasts. We hope you’ve the stones for it!

EDITORIAL (sample): An example must be made. The disturbing trend amongst naysayers is the proliferation of the vicious rumor we, the gaming industry as a whole, are occasionally slipping inferior animal products into our wholesale packages. I can assure the buying public this is vehemently prohibited and clearly a fiction devised by the Humarians to further their own political agendas.

LETTERS FROM SUBSCRIBERS (sample): The Meat Machines are being praised in many neophyte arenas, exhibiting paramount efficiency and surpassing the technical aptitude of several hundred traditional butchers, however unsporting it may appear to the hobbyists and purists among us- those of us who can truly appreciate the art of the cut.

ADVERTISEMENT: Spring lifestyle finds the volunteers cavorting about the campus yards, enjoying a great many daylight activities whole families can enjoy. Nothing too strenuous, heavens no! We certainly don’t want a tough, overworked volunteer come collection time. Instead, we offer a wide variety of light activities, everything from wading in one of our campus tenderizing ponds to our ever-popular Additive Spout Suckling competition.

GAMING NEWS (sample): Ms A. Britney, of local renown, did not compete this session, having been diagnosed with the dripping brain. Examples of her outlandish equipment designs, most notably her signature “9-ball grinder” can be seen on permanent display at the Jed Yargo Museum of Noteworthy Achievements.

ADVERTISEMENT: We always clamor to bring you “ the good stuff” and that’s why we added more red juice #4-Sequence 33 to every package of Pretty Big Hungry Loin Cubes.

ADVERTISEMENT: We’ve more slaughters by each and every Friday than most traditional gaming yards’ per year capita, thanks to Fashion Food’s Meat Machines, including the Seahorse line, voted “#1 Rendering and Separating Automaton” by Strip Red magazine.

COMIC STRIPS (sample): Little Sister, we brought you Mom, Big Sister and dear old Dad as chops and puddings. I know one girl who won’t be going hungry this winter!