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Numbuh-X
— Chapter Eight
Published:
2019-10-01 19:32:58 +0000 UTC
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Chapter Eight: Why Am I So Sweaty?
[Int. Royal Woods Academy - hallway - day - Ronnie Anne walks the halls, awkwardly trying to pull down her pants that are now suddenly too short for her. As she speaks her thoughts appear in three dimensional space behind her.]
Ronnie Anne (V.O.): I gotta get new pants. Wait, why is the voice in my head so loud? (then) What---
[Her strut is interrupted by a high-pitched whine that stops when she bumps into the New Guy from physics class.]
New Guy: Oh! Are you okay?
Ronnie Anne: What?
Ronnie Anne (V.O.): Why am I so sweaty???
New Guy: Why are you so sweaty?
Ronnie Anne: It's a puberty thing. I don't know why I said that. I’m not going through puberty. I did. But I’m done. (“cool” and deep voice) I’m a strong, independent woman. (tries to be suave) --So you're, like, new here, right? We got that in common.
New Guy: Yeah, that’s one thing.
Ronnie Anne: Cool, yeah. I’m Ronnie Anne.
New Guy: I'm L-Loooogan.
Ronnie Anne: Wait, your name is Logan?
Logan: Yes, it’s Canadian. I'm from Canada. No accent though, cause I was raised here.
[Logan continues, though his voice fades away…]
Ronnie Anne (V.O.): Do the shoulder touch now! Before he walks away!
[In slow motion, Ronnie Anne’s hand heads toward Logan's shoulder as she watches its slow, deliberate journey.]
Ronnie Anne (V.O.): Why is this so scary? Am I doing this in slow motion or does it just feel that way?
[Unfortunately for Ronnie Anne, she slips on a wrapper and her hand lands on Logan’s hair instead, and the two find that they’re stuck together. Ronnie Anne is mortified.]
Ronnie Anne (CONT’D): Sorry…um…dang it!
Logan: Hey! Um, can you let go please? Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, calm down, it’s fine-
Ronnie Anne (CONT'D): I can't…let…go…
[Ronnie Anne is stuck to him. She tries to unstick herself but it keeps getting worse. Now Logan's hair is involved.]
Logan: Ronnie Anne, let go!
Ronnie Anne: I'm working on it. It's just puberty!
Logan: I don’t think you know what puberty is! Just relax.
Ronnie Anne: Okay, I have a plan.
Logan (CONT'D): Great.
Ronnie Anne: I’m going to pull REALLY hard.
Logan (CONT'D): That’s a terrible plan.
Ronnie Anne: 1…2…
Logan (CONT'D): --Don’t do this!-
Ronnie Anne (CONT’D): --3!
[Logan finally has enough and flips Ronnie Anne, in full view of dozens of students. Ronnie Anne screams.]
Ronnie Anne: AHHHHHHHH!!!!
[Pre-lap: An electric razor BUZZES.]
[Int. Nurse's office - later - Ronnie Anne looks on as her hand is freed from Logan’s hair, and her expression tells us his hair is ravaged. And it is.]
Ronnie Anne: Nice to meet you.
[She won’t even look at him.]
Logan: Sure. Total pleasure.
[Int. Royal Woods Academy - hallway - continuous - exiting, Ronnie Anne balls her hair-covered hands and puts them in her pockets. She walks the halls, mortified.]
Ronnie Anne (V.O.): No one saw. It’s ok. No one knows. No one knows. (everyone is staring) Everyone knows. Everyone knows!
[The sentence “everyone knows” appears behind her, giant letters. The period appears last like a cannonball.]
Ronnie Anne: They’re talking about me. They saw everything. He knows. She knows. They know. (distracted by a fat boy) Wow. He’s super-sized. Why is he smiling? Am I the weird-o now? What am I doing? How do I stop? Can they hear my thoughts? Why are all my thoughts so loud?!
[The school security guard appears]
Security Guard: Hey! I know you snuck out last night, Santiago!
Ronnie Anne (V.O./THOUGHT BUBBLE): Play dumb. (to the security guard) Who’s Santiago? (V.O./THOUGHT BUBBLE) Not that dumb.
[Panicking, Ronnie Anne takes off running.]
Security Guard: Hey!
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