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Oilux — Haiku I
Published: 2012-10-29 23:51:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 392; Favourites: 15; Downloads: 1
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Description Questions of the old,
memories of the new songs
in comes the new age.
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Comments: 4

Whovian-Shitsuji [2012-10-29 23:58:03 +0000 UTC]

Take out "makes" from my comment. Oops.

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Whovian-Shitsuji [2012-10-29 23:57:40 +0000 UTC]

You have 6 syllables in the last line. Beyond that it's fine, but the incorrect counting of syllables makes ruins the form.

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Oilux In reply to Whovian-Shitsuji [2012-10-30 00:18:09 +0000 UTC]

When I first read it, I thought you meant the second line, but then I realized what you meant and I knew you were right. Thanks for pointing that out. I fixed it.

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Whovian-Shitsuji In reply to Oilux [2012-10-30 00:18:51 +0000 UTC]

No problem.

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