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Oilux β€” My King
Published: 2013-09-10 21:05:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 988; Favourites: 36; Downloads: 0
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Description My King, please smile,
before you lies the wake
of an endless war.

My King, please smile,
the people are waiting
they need your guidance.

My King, please smile,
we humbly wait for you
to show the ghastly past.

My King, please smile
there's nothing left
but an ivory throne.

My King, please smile
we have nothing left
but isn't that enough?

My King, please smile,
the sun is setting
on your final days.

My People, please smile,
at long last,
the King is dead.
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Comments: 9

SimplyDarkerthanDeaF [2013-12-12 19:32:59 +0000 UTC]

Wow this is really a great poem

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

loveyoupresenttense [2013-09-14 12:07:36 +0000 UTC]

Love the first line repetition of "My King, please smile..." It creates a rhythm which is broken by the last verse's "My People, please smile..." emphasising the twist at the end. Very nicely done!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Oilux In reply to loveyoupresenttense [2013-10-05 02:20:53 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

VaryagOfMiklagaard [2013-09-14 07:45:51 +0000 UTC]

Thats...
Dark.
But really well done.

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Oilux In reply to VaryagOfMiklagaard [2013-10-05 02:21:01 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

xWickedxRosex [2013-09-11 21:48:10 +0000 UTC]

Sounds like he neglected his people throughout his life and they finally grew tired. Great piece! Good job!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 1

Oilux In reply to xWickedxRosex [2013-10-05 02:21:15 +0000 UTC]

Just the moral I was going for. Thank you!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

Astro-Creep166 [2013-09-11 05:52:28 +0000 UTC]

nice!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0

MabusTheDark [2013-09-11 01:25:14 +0000 UTC]

Interesting, to say the least. Β Sounds like he wasn't a very good king!

πŸ‘: 0 ⏩: 0