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I think...now that i realize it, it's so much harder to let go. Before i was oblivious. I never realized i was in love with you. Now, though, i know. It's not something that can be assumed or guessed or calculated. It's something of a resolve, a knowing. A certainty. I wouldn't mind spending my life with you, even if it went the same way it was now. Playing video games, joking around, and sleeping. I would mind it one bit, wasting as much time as possible with you.

This...feeling. I can't explain it. Knowing that there is someone in my life that i would do literally anything for...well, that's scary. It feels like an instinct sometimes, this need. This urge. It pushes me to protect you, to do anything for you, just to see that smile on your face. Just to make sure you are completely, 100% happy. To make sure you never see the edge of pain or hurt. I want to see you whole again. I want it to be me, the one who makes you feel better and brightens your days.

This is love. Sometimes, i see a part of you that i don't think many notice. You seem...sad. Not just sad, maybe that just isn't the right word. Beyond sad. It's in your eyes, occasionally. I just want to hold you and tell you everything will be alright...but i'm not sure if you'd let me. So i settle for what i can. At night...when we go to sleep and i have my arms around you...it's a symbol. I want to hold you away from all the bad things in life. I want to be your shield, to protect you. Especially, when at heart, i feel that you are much more vulnerable than you show.

Maybe i'm not right. Maybe i'm completely wrong. I mean, i'm not one to talk about not showing my feelings. You're lucky you even know i'm in love with you. Showing people your emotions makes it easier for them to break you down, piece by piece. It makes it easier for them to use you. I've learned, only in the last year...that you can't trust anyone. No one. One example of this is that i trusted you. Completely. I had no doubt in my mind that you were telling anything but the truth. I needed that in my life. I needed the person that would be honest...someone i could trust. But you broke that trust, and now i don't even know if i want you to be in my life. God knows i shouldn't. But i can't just walk away. I need you. You may not need me, but i do need you. I want you in my life. As of tonight, i've accepted this.

I've accepted that...well, you make me happy in a way that no one else ever could. You make me smile. Just being around you makes me content. You bring a calmness and familiarity into my life that, as well, no one else ever could. I just have to learnt o accept the things i cannot change. I cannot change the fact that when you kiss me it makes my heart soar, or the fact that when i hold you i feel like i am holding nearly everything important to me. I sound crazy to you, probably. You don't like people being attached to you. Well, i can't change it. So here it is. Out in words for you to see.

You. Why do i love you? Maybe there aren't exact words, but i'll try to explain. I love your smile. I love it when you laugh, really laugh, because sometimes you don't do it enough. I love it even more when it's me making you laugh. I love that you play video games, and that you complain so often about them. I love that you make dumb little noises when you are thinking or taking something in and understanding it. I love that you move your foot when you are falling asleep. I love that you twitch when you are nearly asleep. I love that you eat pizza like every single day. I love that you write beautiful songs and beautiful poems. I love that you sing ALL THE TIME, just like i do. I love that you get my sense of humor for the most part. I just love everything.

Now...you wonder why i want you all to myself? Because...it's hard. It's hard to think about you being with her. What if she makes you happier? What if she can give you something that i can't? That's all it is. What if...you are wasting time with me, just so that you can have fun with her when the time comes around? I mean, if she makes you happy, go for it. Because, it's not something i can change. I just want to see you happy. If being with her is what makes that happen, then go for it. I just want to see that smile on your face every single day.

I guess that's about it. I love you, and a piece of my always will. I can't say it enough, and i mean it every single time. I love you. I love you. I love you.

xoxo,

Meghan. <3

Description
I think...now that i realize it, it's so much harder to let go. Before i was oblivious. I never realized i was in love with you. Now, though, i know. It's not something that can be assumed or guessed or calculated. It's something of a resolve, a knowing. A certainty. I wouldn't mind spending my life with you, even if it went the same way it was now. Playing video games, joking around, and sleeping. I would mind it one bit, wasting as much time as possible with you.

This...feeling. I can't explain it. Knowing that there is someone in my life that i would do literally anything for...well, that's scary. It feels like an instinct sometimes, this need. This urge. It pushes me to protect you, to do anything for you, just to see that smile on your face. Just to make sure you are completely, 100% happy. To make sure you never see the edge of pain or hurt. I want to see you whole again. I want it to be me, the one who makes you feel better and brightens your days.

This is love. Sometimes, i see a part of you that i don't think many notice. You seem...sad. Not just sad, maybe that just isn't the right word. Beyond sad. It's in your eyes, occasionally. I just want to hold you and tell you everything will be alright...but i'm not sure if you'd let me. So i settle for what i can. At night...when we go to sleep and i have my arms around you...it's a symbol. I want to hold you away from all the bad things in life. I want to be your shield, to protect you. Especially, when at heart, i feel that you are much more vulnerable than you show.

Maybe i'm not right. Maybe i'm completely wrong. I mean, i'm not one to talk about not showing my feelings. You're lucky you even know i'm in love with you. Showing people your emotions makes it easier for them to break you down, piece by piece. It makes it easier for them to use you. I've learned, only in the last year...that you can't trust anyone. No one. One example of this is that i trusted you. Completely. I had no doubt in my mind that you were telling anything but the truth. I needed that in my life. I needed the person that would be honest...someone i could trust. But you broke that trust, and now i don't even know if i want you to be in my life. God knows i shouldn't. But i can't just walk away. I need you. You may not need me, but i do need you. I want you in my life. As of tonight, i've accepted this.

I've accepted that...well, you make me happy in a way that no one else ever could. You make me smile. Just being around you makes me content. You bring a calmness and familiarity into my life that, as well, no one else ever could. I just have to learnt o accept the things i cannot change. I cannot change the fact that when you kiss me it makes my heart soar, or the fact that when i hold you i feel like i am holding nearly everything important to me. I sound crazy to you, probably. You don't like people being attached to you. Well, i can't change it. So here it is. Out in words for you to see.

You. Why do i love you? Maybe there aren't exact words, but i'll try to explain. I love your smile. I love it when you laugh, really laugh, because sometimes you don't do it enough. I love it even more when it's me making you laugh. I love that you play video games, and that you complain so often about them. I love that you make dumb little noises when you are thinking or taking something in and understanding it. I love that you move your foot when you are falling asleep. I love that you twitch when you are nearly asleep. I love that you eat pizza like every single day. I love that you write beautiful songs and beautiful poems. I love that you sing ALL THE TIME, just like i do. I love that you get my sense of humor for the most part. I just love everything.

Now...you wonder why i want you all to myself? Because...it's hard. It's hard to think about you being with her. What if she makes you happier? What if she can give you something that i can't? That's all it is. What if...you are wasting time with me, just so that you can have fun with her when the time comes around? I mean, if she makes you happy, go for it. Because, it's not something i can change. I just want to see you happy. If being with her is what makes that happen, then go for it. I just want to see that smile on your face every single day.

I guess that's about it. I love you, and a piece of my always will. I can't say it enough, and i mean it every single time. I love you. I love you. I love you.

xoxo,

Meghan. <3